31

I’m back from my weekend booty shaking, although it was somewhat subdued to the fact that I feel like absolute crap thanks to the stupid fertility drugs and my giant ovaries. Plus, my hip decided to throw itself out again, so I was a lumpy, whiny little bitch wandering around the inner harbor of Baltimore very, very uncomfortable.

The good news is, however, in my bloated and painful wanderings, I visited the incomparably fabulous American Visionary Museum. This museum features works by the disenfranchised--the disabled, the old, the crazy. While some of the work was unimpressive, the stories about each artist blew me away. There were beautiful charcoal drawings by a young man with autism, embroideries chronicling the saga of a young Jewish woman during the holocaust, whole families built out of cardboard boxes, and much more. I was nearly in tears through the whole exhibit.

I did end up in tears in the gift shop. I was looking for a print by a particular artist, but instead came across a pair of Goody Goody Baby Shoes. I picked them up, because my friend’s baby wears them, and was shocked to discover that they had little pictures of trains on them. I immediately burst into tears, showed them to my best friend (who was with me, thank god) and ran out of the store.

My husband, you see, LOVES trains. In the last few years, he has rekindled his childhood love of trains and begun to photograph every train he sees. He’s an avid train watcher, and has amassed thousands of photos of freight engines from all over the city we live in, plus everywhere we travel (no model trains though—that would mean d-i-v-o-r-c-e). So those shoes were too much for my gonal-f, repronex, and cetrodide riddled brain.

I can’t wait for this to be over.

And it almost is. After my Saturday ultrasound, it was decided that I would wait to trigger until Sunday night at midnight, and then my egg retrieval would be Tuesday (tomorrow). I’m completely terrified, because so much is still left to go wrong, but I’m kind of excited to see what they harvest down there.

Cause I have—count ‘em—31 follicles.

That’s right. Thirty-fucking-one.

I’m shocked—and so is everyone else. My ovaries are behaving like they’re only 21 years old—bad ovaries! I realize that I am polycystic (without being PCOS—just have poly cystic ovaries, but no syndrome to blame my big flabby belly on), so we might not have that many good eggs, but still. Sheesh.

Oddly enough, I feel kinda guilty about this flush of follies. I know so many women that are classified as poor-responders (shitty fucking title if I’ve ever heard one), not to mention those that can’t ovulate at all, that I feel like I’ve somehow stolen all of their eggs, and that’s why I have so many.

I’m also terrified that I’m up for OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome). I’m already really uncomfortable—my soccer ball looking ovaries are nearing soccer ball size, and taking up a lot of room in my abdomen. I know that can get worse, too, if you’re pregnant. Well, this is a worry for another day.

I’ll try to post tomorrow night and let ya’ll know how many we collected. Wish me luck!

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Just got off the phone with the IVF nurse. Apparently, my progesterone level is too high to do the embryo transfer this cycle. They’ll freeze the embryos and implant them next cycle.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Comments

[Jodi]

Wow, both good news and bad. Good luck tomorrow, Here's to you getting a good number of eggs and that they ferilize.

[Moxie]

Argh. Two steps forward and one step back. But 31 is great. I hope you have a great retrieval (can you really say that?) tomorrow.

[Sam]

Oh, honey, don't feel guilty, we are all cautiously thrilled for you, as you will be for us, when the time comes. Guilt------BE GONE!!!

[Sam]

Oh, honey, don't feel guilty, we are all cautiously thrilled for you, as you will be for us, when the time comes. Guilt------BE GONE!!!

[Lisa]

Hope you're having a great retrieval!

[Juniper]

My doc doesn't seem to think PCOS is a great excuse for my non-size 6 body. ;)

Yeah for the 31 follicles!!!!! They all belong to you. So hooray for them. And OHSS really only becomes a concern if you can push on your "ovary area" and actually feel your ovary and if you feel a tightness in your chest or are having probs breathing. The rest of the pain and nausea from stimulation drugs are just 'normal'.

That's what my re told me after I developed OHSS and was hospitalised. So, good luck with the next cycle. Watch for those OHSS signs!!! Good luck!!!