Houston: We Have a Problem
Hello Everyone. This is Sarah, Cecily's best friend, and she asked that I post for her today.
I accompanied her and her husband to an ultrasound appt. this morning--I've been wanting to go and finally arranged that I could--and we got some sad news, folks.
One of the boys has passed away.
The tech had trouble at first, and moved us into another room with 'better equipment', and we all got a bit nervous. Then when she had told us the heart rate of Twin A, and before answering Cec about Twin B said "I'm going to get the doctor now"--well, we all swallowed pretty hard.
The doctor was lovely, very sweet and concerned but blunt: I have to tell you, this one has no heartbeat, no good fluid around the sac. It looks like he passed over a week ago.
FUCK.
Cecily, for anyone who has been graced to know her, was typically stoic at first. Very matter of fact. In a way, I think all the horror stories you all share had part of her preparing for this from the beginning. Charlie's mind raced with a million questions to ask, and he got some of them out right there.
Then they sent us over to see Cec's regular Dr.---yes, Dr. Mama--who had agreed to see her as soon as he could fit her in. He was also very sweet and blunt, went over all the same things and Charlie managed to get the other half of his questions out, and Dr. was very patient and understanding. He then sent her over to another building for more testing...serial blood pressure checks because her pressure was extremely high (though could obviously be stress-related), a DIC test to see that her blood won't get too thin, as well as a preclampsia panel, because of the high pressure, large weight gain in the past 3 weeks, and something in the urine that was postive...didn't catch what that meant.
So after the testing, assuming it shows these other factors are ok, we WAIT. And oh how we all love that waiting game. She is 22 weeks tomorrow, so the Dr. said the next two weeks are crucial, to make it past the magical line of 'viable'. After that it will be close checking on the live baby, and seeing that the one that passed is absorbed back in. They had seperate sacks and placentas, so the passing of the one theoretically should not harm the other, but of course there are all sorts of 1% chances of this, that, and the other thing.
This is very fucking scary, and I am so sad for the loss of that one little boy. Please send your love and prayers her way and to the little boy hanging in there, that he keeps growing and gets stronger. They need all the positive thoughts you can muster. Charlie and I are very worried not only about the baby who is left, but about Cecily's health--about her life. We are scared.
I'm sure Cec will update herself in another day or two. How does one "process" something like this?? You just fucking can't. That's what Charlie said. You just fucking can't.
Sarah
I'm so terribly sorry Cecily, this is just beyond words. I'm just so sorry.
Posted by: Lindsey | October 26, 2004 at 02:04 PM
Oh no. No. NO.
I'm so so so incredibly sorry.
Praying hard that little guy hangs in there for you and your husband.
Posted by: kim | October 26, 2004 at 02:07 PM
Sorry doesn't seem to be adequate, but I am so very very sorry. You all are in my thoughts. Hang in there little guy!
Posted by: Chris | October 26, 2004 at 02:23 PM
I don't know if it's possible to say anything reassurring at a time like this, but I wanted to let you know that I was born under similar circumstances. My twin passed away in utero, passed successfully, and I survived and was born a couple of months later without incident. And that was back in 1970.
My heart goes out to you and your husband. I'll be thinking of you both.
Posted by: Tammy | October 26, 2004 at 02:28 PM
I want to say that we love you Cecily and Charlie very very much
All good vibes are in your directions
Posted by: Jo-Ann | October 26, 2004 at 02:28 PM
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
Sarah, is there anything we can do for them?
Posted by: Moxie | October 26, 2004 at 02:31 PM
So sorry to read this. Hang in there Cecily and baby! You are lucky to have a good friend like Sarah there with you.
You are in my thoughts.
Posted by: Michelle | October 26, 2004 at 02:31 PM
Oh Cecily! You are in my prayers. Hang in there. No one should have to go through something like that. Here's a tiny bit of good news. My boss lost a twin and went on to deliver a normal normal singleton. Not that it makes this bearable.
Posted by: Leslie | October 26, 2004 at 02:36 PM
Sarah - Thanks for letting us know.
Posted by: Leslie | October 26, 2004 at 02:37 PM
Oh, Cecily, I am so, so sorry.
We are all out here, sending good thoughts your way.
Thanks for letting us know Sarah.
xxoo
Posted by: Anna H. | October 26, 2004 at 02:45 PM
I've been a long time reader of yours & a silent fan. There are no words right now.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Posted by: Stacy | October 26, 2004 at 02:51 PM
Oh God, Cecily. I am so sorry, and I will be thinking of you.
Posted by: kate | October 26, 2004 at 02:57 PM
Oh no.... I am so sorry, Cec... I have been thinking about you lately and sending good vibes for your pregnancy. I will double my efforts and keep you in my 'prayers' - whatever they may be. You're one of the strongest women I have ever known, I have faith that you will have the strength to weather this.
Please feel free to reach out if you need **anything**. I may be miles away, but I am here for you. I miss you lots! *hugs*
-=kt=-
Posted by: ktpupp | October 26, 2004 at 02:58 PM
I'm so sad for you and Charlie.
Posted by: Susan | October 26, 2004 at 03:07 PM
Cecily, I'm so so sorry. Your loss is devastating & horrible. Sending my wishes for your & your baby's health.
Posted by: Tracy | October 26, 2004 at 03:09 PM
Hey guys,
We love you so much and hate to hear this news. What a terrible loss. We are thinking of you and sending lots of love.
Posted by: Elise | October 26, 2004 at 03:23 PM
Oh my god...I am truly sorry. I have no other words to say, jut know that I will pray for you. You are in my thoughts.
Christina
Posted by: Christina | October 26, 2004 at 03:24 PM
Cecily and Charlie, I'm so sorry for the passing of your son. This is coming as such a shock!! I hope the both of you are resting well and I hope the wait is blessedly smooth and quick.
Come on little sweet baby!! Hang in there for mama and papa!!!
Thinking of you both during this time.
Posted by: Jen P | October 26, 2004 at 03:34 PM
So so sorry. Please know that you, your husband and baby will be in my thoguths and prayers. I wish there was more I could do.
Posted by: StacyG | October 26, 2004 at 03:35 PM
Cecily and Charlie-
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
-Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer | October 26, 2004 at 03:40 PM
So very sorry. Fuck.
Posted by: Linda | October 26, 2004 at 03:55 PM
*hugs* I am so, so sorry. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts, and wishing the best for your little boy. May he be born full term and healthy.
Posted by: lisa | October 26, 2004 at 04:00 PM
Sarah, I'm sure that was a difficult post to write, thank you for sharing it with us.
Cecily and Charlie, I'm so sorry that your son has died. Your surviving son and both of you are in my thoughts and in my heart.
Kathleen
Posted by: Kathleen | October 26, 2004 at 04:07 PM
You are in my thoughts.
I'm so very sorry.
Posted by: Christina | October 26, 2004 at 04:21 PM
Sarah,
Please let us know if there's anything we can do.
Cecily, I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one, and I'm sending best wishes for the other to be healthy and thrive.
xo
Posted by: Cory | October 26, 2004 at 04:34 PM