Fuckety Fuck

One of the enduring legacies of the Reagan (remember Reagan?) era is the amount of crazy people that are out walking around in the streets instead of being in a nice cozy institution, particularly here in large East Coast cities.

OK--that's totally politically incorrect, but I'm a little pissed off right now.

I run a retail art gallery/craft store that is associated with an art college (we sell student and alumnae art work exclusively). While not on a major retail strip, we are located in the heart of the museum district, so we get a fair amount of foot traffic.

And every once in a while a lunatic of some flavor manages to get in here, even though we have a door lock and they have to be buzzed in. They are usually harmless. Sometimes they just want to talk. Sometimes they want to try to steal things. Sometimes they ask me for money, although one time a homeless guy tried to give me a dollar. They don't stay long, and usually don't bother me.

I should have known as soon as I saw the immense mustard yellow suit jacket this guy was wearing that I shouldn't have buzzed him in. He was also wearing giant buddy holly glasses. He made a beeline over to me and set up camp on the other side of the counter.

He was one of those "just wants to talk" types.

He told me that the art in the store was very good, and everyone was very talented. He told me his mother went to this college. He told me that he was a millionaire. He told me that his father pushed him too hard. He told me he was a medical student, but switched to art because it made him happy. He told me that you have to do what makes you happy. I knew he was heavily medicated by the saliva collecting in the corners of his mouth and his monotone manner of speaking.

Then he asked me questions. "Are you married?" "What does your husband do?" and, naturally, of course: "Do you have kids?"

I said, "No, not yet." And do you know what the fucking asshole said?

"It's hard to have kids when you're heavy."

At which point I fried him with the lasers that I shoot out of my eyes and used my trusty dustpan to sweep up the evidence and throw it away.

OK. What I really said was, "I am not interested in discussing this with you." This sort of answer is always risky with the mentally unbalanced. This will often lead to yelling and name calling and me having to call security. Fortunately, in this case, my statement completely deflated the man and he fled after apologizing.

Cocksucker.

________________________________________

Speaking of apologies, I must ask that Meghan be removed from the list of trolls.

She sent an incredibly sweet and heartfelt apology to me directly, with a real email address. I'm hoping we can engage in a dialog. She didn't ask for or expect forgiveness, but I want to say publicly-- Meghan, I forgive you. I'm so glad you didn't just let it go. You are a brave woman, and one learning grace. Thank you.

Comments

[connie]

Sounds like that man was probably bipolar.

Like me.

I'm not an infertile but I have been reading a lot of infertile blogs lately. Our two groups have lots in common,when it comes to dealing with others not in our group.

It sucks to have a brain disorder. It sucks to not have insurance and not be able to afford meds that keep you from being depressed or in some cases from being obnoxious. It sucks to have to deal with people that don't understand.

I'm sorry he made that rude comment. A lot of us spout off before our brain engages. He did apologize. I understand you have every right to be sensitive, especially now, and at any time that would have been a hurtful comment.

But we get our own share, too.

[Sarah]

All I can say is, that dude is one lucky man. If he had made a comment like that to someone with your history who was NOT YOU, he wouldn't be able to walk right now.

Just proves, again, that you have more grace in your little pinky than most people gain in their lifetimes.

Love you,
Sarah

[Sarah]

Oh, and you changed your picture!!

A daffodil for Nick and Zack....I love that you did that.

Hang in there, Sweetie. You are doing amazingly well.

Love, Sarah

[<3]

Holy crap! What an ass!

If only people knew the whole story...

[SusieJ]

Sarah's right; you do have a lot of grace. Good for you for sharing that grace and not responding in kind.

And special thanks to the first commenter reminding me (at least), why doing the right thing and not being so judgemental is, um, the right thing.

[j]

Cecily, I am amazed that you are able to deal with the general public right now, let alone someone who does not, or maybe cannot, filter out inappropriate comments from his conversation. Ugh.

And since I am the one (or at least one of the ones) who asked whether you had named your sons, I must say that I think that Nicholas and Zachary are lovely names.

[averyjenn]

Fucking ass he is!!! From a fluffy girl myself I hate these types of comments!! People always throw out the "weight card" and I think that's just shitty.

So I'll use what women use about men back at him: So here's to you, you asshat, who probably has a small dick that doesn't satisfy the poor women who so foolishly agree to sleep with you. I hope you get a nasty disease and it falls off!!

I don't know where that came from! My period is working on me OT - sorry for the raging hormones!

Hugs...

[MOT]

Isn't it so weird how life carries on?

Hugs to you

[Moxie]

Wow.

That's about all I've got.

[keri]

I just wanted to say that I admire your courage and the spirit you show by continuing to share your experiences with others through what must be a very raw experience.

I won't pretend to know how you are feeling, who can but the woman themselves? But I will tell you that after reading this blog, I'm going to so something that I haven't done in a long time - Pray.

Know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many, and have touched the hearts of more than you can probably guess.

Take care of yourself.
xx

[Rebecca]

There is something in the male brain that seems to malfunction at the worst times. Keep your chin up sweetie, your strength and courage amazes me.

[Carrie Jo]

Oh fer fuck's sake! I live in San Francisco and we get them here too :oP One time I heard some whistle and I turned around just to see who it was and this homeless guy (or whatever) said to me, "Not you, ugly! Four eyes!" Not nearly as bad as what "your" guy said to you, though. I just giggled to myself and thought (sarcastically of course), "You're one to talk." I'm sorry you have to deal with such asshats right now. But glad to see you're holding yourself up remarkably well.

[Leslie]

Holy Cow! Crazy people are coming in off the streets to comment on your empty womb! I am so sorry!

[Sierra]

Fucker!

[JenH]

What a horrible thing to say to you.

Mental illness can do it to people... at one time this man was probably nice and charming, now mean and monster-like. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I appreciate you being sensitive to his mental illness issues, too.

My sister is schizophrenic, and she can be horrible to people, even on meds. I miss the way she used to be (once a world-reknown painter, funny, beautiful), and it's hard to see past the disease, even for me. People often forget that these "crazies" have loving families and friends, probably went to school, and have no control over themselves. But that doesn't make it easier to deal with their nastiness. I should know.

Once again, you blow me away by your ability to be understanding and sympathetic, even in this difficult time. Thanks for not bashing "the crazies" as most people call them, and again showing what a beautiful human being you truly are.
Bless.

[Dana]

It's really stand up of you to announce how Meghan and you cleared things up - I thought that whole troll list thing was utterly mean spirited, yes some of them clearly sucked but some, like Meghan, I thought there was a pretty good chance they were misunderstood or did not intend to be offensive. Can't wait to read the posts bashing my opinion on this one.

I've done a lot of volunteer work at a local thrift store - there are ALL kinds out there aren't there?

[bugsy1970]

I am once again in awe of you and your brave way of handling everything. I think I would have melted and been a little puddle on the floor. I have been thinking of you and sending strength vibes your way. Keep plodding on!

[Sylvie]

It's hard to have kids when you're heavy?!?
Well, sir, it's hard to have friends when you're such an asshole.

[sandy]

what's in the world is an asshat?

[Maria]

What a charmer!

Why do we become magnets for insults after something tragic (regardless of whether they knew about it or not)?

I remember right after my dad died, my mom's sister came up to my mom and said: He really wasn't very handsome anyway.

[miranda]

Cecily you are truly refreshing!