Cookie Dough Is NOT Just A Sometime Food

Yesterday found me sitting on my couch at 2:30 in the afternoon, still in my nightgown, watching 25-year-old episodes of Buck Rogers (for a futuristic name they chose Wilma? Are they kidding? Still, she did kick ass for the time), thoughtfully eating spoonfuls of cookie dough out of a tube (this was to follow up my healthy breakfast of fat free Cool Whip and a lunch of lite spreadable cheese on triscuits).

Oh, and many fertile blessings to that commenter that suggested I bake cookies before people come view my house. Great suggestion, but sadly means cookie dough is currently present in the house. A recipe for disaster. Or is that depression?

Since the house got listed on Friday, I’ve decided to stop sleeping. I’m filled with dread and anxiety. The house stuff, the whole Mother’s Day weeping thing—I’m going crazy. Add to the mix that I decided this would be a great week to set up a consultation with my fertility doc—and who answers the phone? The Cunt.

So yesterday morning, as I lay in bed not sleeping, I realized I felt like crap and I stayed home.

We’ve had seven groups of people tramp through our house. None of them want to buy it. The feedback we’ve gotten is “we thought it’d be bigger” (yeah, we all did, buddy), “the price is aggressive” and “it smells like cats in the basement.”

I have five cats, people. FIVE. I scrubbed the basement floor until you could lick it. But the cats aren’t dead, so they still have to pee and poop. So just GET OVER IT ALREADY, I’M SCOOPING AS FAST AS I CAN.

To add to all of this, we found the house we want. Beautiful twin. Fireplace. Ungodly perfect kitchen, right down to the slate floors (which are wonderful if you are like me and hate mopping. Yes, sell me your house! I promise to never mop!). Finished basement, with a small room for litter pans WITH A CAT DOOR. I shit you not. An already decorated nursery. Theme? Classic Pooh. Who could argue with that? Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Here is a picture of the house we want.

Just so you can compare, here is a picture of my current home.

Yeah.

But there is already another offer against the house. By cute people who are already pregnant. Who probably don’t have a house to sell first. Bastards. No, we won’t make them suffer a bidding war. Plus, that implies we have money for a bidding war. Ha!

Hence, the cookie dough.

But there is a light in the darkness.

Elise and her husband, as you know, are our dear, dear friends and the best neighbors EVER. When they open their front door, their dog runs to our house. We love them, and their daughter, so much. When they told us they were moving there suddenly didn’t seem to be a reason to stay in our neighborhood. They found a great house in a wonderful neighborhood of our city, and were all set to move. Charlie and I resigned ourselves to living far, far way from them in Perfect Town (ok, a half-hour drive, but too far for the dog to run—you know, by himself).

Well, if you read her blog, you know that they went through an absolute NIGHTMARE (a little matter of $15,000 in termite damage the owner attempted to conceal—by putting a couch over it) and they decided to walk away from the deal.

I’m not sure if it was the incessant prodding and cajoling on my part, but they finally consented to looking at houses in their price range in Perfect Town. And they found one they love. And they are making an offer. And Perfect Town is only one square mile, so chances are, we’ll live pretty fucking close to each other. And it turns out that the listing agent on the house they want is our buying agent—which has to earn us some serious points, right?

My heart is nearly exploding in joy. I cannot believe how happy this is making me.

So, the rest of the cookie dough is officially reserved for the people who will be viewing our house Saturday. Surely one of them is going to buy it, right? For close to the asking price, right?

Come on, God. It’s time for something good to happen to me. Seriously.

______________________________________________________

I have decided to be like all the other infertile bloggers and change my blogroll to Julie's big list. I know, I'm sorry, but I read more than are on my blogroll now and I don't want to pick and choose and it just becomes so overwhelming. Since Julie has been kind enough to volunteer to keep this list, and takes the time to keep it update, I think I should use it.

So don't feel slighted, m'kay?

Comments

[Kate]

My recipe for depression involves a can of Pringles and a 16 oz. container of dip. Oh and a very tall glass of Dr. Pepper, Cherry Vanilla is the current fave.

I am sorry this house-selling stuff is so stressful. Crossing all me parts that it sells fast!

[jc]

You're allowed to bake cookies? When we were selling, the real estate agent didn't want any food smells in the house - no cookies, no fresh bread, no nothing - because you never know who is going through your house.

I can't help myself...unsolicited assvice alert ....
Do you have to be in the house when the lookie lous come by? Does your agent have to tell you their comments? I hated every person who went through our beloved little house. How dare they criticize my home! Oh. Right. Not my home anymore.

Hoping it all goes smoothly for you and you get the house of your dreams.

[Sandy]

I love the look of the house you'd like to have - although I have to say that I'm partial to brick too, so probably would like your current place. We're in a "twin" as you call it (we call them semi's here) and our neighbour just sold. This will be the third time since I've been here - I'm ready to go myself. But the thought of all the work that would have to happen ... it's easier to stay and maybe just ignore the new neighbours...hmmm. And so is it just me asleep at the blog, or did you just sneak in the reference to making an appointment at the clinic?

[Ruth]

The Dream House does look lovely, but a wise person (o.k., my Mom) once told me, "There are many perfect houses." If you don't get this one, one even better will come along. Painfully optimistic, I know, but I have actually found it to be true. Personal House Hunting Story: we came to this town because we saw a picture of The House on realtor.com. It was everything we wanted -- restored antique, large lot, gorgeous.

Then we saw it, and, among other minor issues (DH couldn't stand up straight in the basement, the ceiling was so low), it sits right on a highway, which also happens to be our town's main street. Cars whizzing by at all hours of the day and night. DH still wanted to consider it, I said no, and we ended up buying this place, which we love.

The dog of the people who bought The House was hit by a car within two months of their move-in date.

Seconding JC ... get out of the house during showings. It's just too painful to listen to someone nitpick about a home you love.

[Julie]

Oh shit, I think that was me. Sorry Glad to know you will have good neighbors when you do find that dream house (and you WILL find it).

[Melessa]

Fingers crossed for your perfect house whether it's this one or one you will find in the future. We lost our first 'perfect house' too, and wound up someplace even better.

[Melessa]

I forgot to mention I spent all day yesterday watching Buck Rogers. Good stuff!

[Dawn]

I think sleep is over-rated anyway. And raw cookie dough is seriously under-rated.

I once starred in a student film where I had to play someone obsessively in love and in one scene I had to watch the kissing scene in Howard's End (where he sweeps her into his arms in the middle of a golden field of wheat) while eating a tube of raw cookie dough. Sadly, we had to shoot that scene again and again. But I was willing to suffer for my art!!!

Afterwards her professor asked if I was a professional actor. I guess I played an obsessive binger with real aplomb!!!

Oh and your dream house? If you get it? I'm inviting myself over for a weekend. Just picture it -- creepy internet stranger shows up on your doorstep! But I'll bring cookie dough!!

[SusieJ]

Love your choice and will be very, very jealous of you for the rest of eternity. I am already jealous of the hardwood floors in your current house (how many times have I mentioned that?).

My assvice (from J's boss, who renovates and sells her house every five years or so): PURGE. Pack up and throw out stuff now. Nothing should be empty, but stuff should be sparse. Closets with lots of space to push clothes to the side, EVEN THOUGH half your wardrobe lives in the basement all year long. Spare bedroom with a full size bed and one dresser (made us think we could put a full bedroom set in there -- hah!) Even your own furniture should not be cluttered with stuff; think tasteful arrangements in the china closet.

And let me know if you're having a yard sale. I have boxes and boxes ...

--SJ

[Elise]

Hi - we are really excited about the possibility of getting this house. It is gorgeous and super cool. I'm not going to blog about it just yet because I don't want to jinx it. But mostly we want to be able to still be neighbors with you guys!!!!! I got all teary reading this post. We will keep you posted all weekend of any developments!

[maia]

MOVE OVER CECILY, that is MY dream home... sigh. Well hell, if that is the era and stle of the homes in that area I am sure you two will find something when the time is right. (But man oh man if that isn't MY dream house.. great minds think alike I guess?) So glad to hear the possibility of your dear friend moving to the same community.

A thought.. do you feel comfy enough with your fertility doc to tell her/him how offensive you find the CUNT and how you do not wish to deal with her in the future? Sounds like a lovely bitch in completely the wrong line of work.

Cookie dough rocks.

[evieballerina]

What I wouldn't give for a tube of cookie dough right about now!

Fingers crossed for you and the sale of the house.

[Ren]

I can so relate to the cookie dough thing. Love the potential new house. (Classic Pooh! How cute!) I hope it all works out.

[Suz]

Everyone says that you can't get too attached when purchasing a home, but even with that cavet, I always have ahd have to say that I love the beautiful home you pictured. It looks open, welcoming, and the stone gives it an old-world flair. I hope with all my heart that you get it. And, for the record, I've bought two houses, sold one myself and have NEVER slept during the process. I think it just comes with the territory (like cookie dough).

The hardest thing I encountered when selling my home were all the silly things that people said about it. They'd make appointments and then wouldn't come, they'd complain that the bathrooms were too small, they wanted a fireplace, they didn't like the purple room, and one wanted to know if I would put in a gas stove?!? A certain amount of skin-hardening happened during this point in time.

I also want to second what SusieJ said - if you haven't already, rent a POD, fill it with your stuff, and then store the POD. Sell your home half-full. Make sure that all the clutter is off the counters and the closets are mostly empty. I know that it's assvice and might not be possible, but it may work.

[VHMPrincess]

Good luck w/the sale of the house! The one you want looks so perfect!

[Dana]

that is a gorgeous house I hope you get it, but if not I know even more gorgeous house will appear and be yours. we bid on three houses before getting this one and it's by far the winner, it'll work out.

take the comments w a grain of salt - people look at houses who have no intention or means to buy them and have to say stuff like that to keep their realtors on the hook -

when I sold my parents house I had a couple say they wanted a price break because 1. it was dark - ok the entire back side of the house was glass OPEN THE DRAPES folks and 2. the kitchen was small BUT they refused to provide proof they could get a mortgage b/c they were PAYING IN CASH ok so while you're at it EXPAND THE KITCHEN I told them to take a hike, not every buyer is the right buyer -

on the size thing - pack up EVERY ITEM you dont need that really helps.

GL GL GL

[MollieBee]

I work for homebuilders, and we always have cookies baking in the oven at our model homes. It's a sensory thing. Makes the house seem like a home or something like that. All I know is it makes me hungry.

[Lisa S (et al)]

I'll be crossing my fingers for you. And wishing I was eating cookie dough.

[Ninotchka]

Wishing you all the luck in the world that you sell your house SOON so you can move to Perfect Town with your neighbors and live happily ever after. :) Fingers crossed!!!

[Thrice]

Try switching to cookie dough made with Splenda? I would have ate the whole thing too!

[Sarah]

Cecily,
What a lot of changes you've go going on! No wonder your brain is asking for sugar and salt.

We have a mere three cats, but I've found that Anti-Icky-Poo http://www.antiickypoo.com/ works incredibly well to get rid of old and new cat pee oder. we had a vent that had been 'violated' by a former renters cat and when we turned the heat on we got eude de cat pee, a few dilligent applications of anti icy poo and we are in the clear.
Someone will love your house--I know it is hard to trust that you won't be let down by god, the universe or whomever it is you are counting on.

Take care,
Sarah

[Tamara]

Oh that porch! And the trees. I love that house. Good luck!

[MOT]

I'm not going to advise you on how to sell/buy a house, because if, GOD FORBID, you took my advice and it screwed you up I would have to feel GUILTY for a year. Therefore, since I am too selfish to want to feel bad for someone else's sake, I will say/type:

Good luck on the house thing and I hope the cats don't give you too much grief when you move. I say that because we ALL know, the cats are the real home owners here.

[robin]

you have completely inspired me. i went to the store to buy a mixer today so that i could make chocolate chip cookie dough. and i went knowing full well that it would be eaten raw.... because i dont have an oven.

and it is good. it is maybe not a good thing that i now have the capacity to make cookie dough, but the cookie dough itself is very good.....