Chair Covers, Table Runners, and Fetus Pain, oh my

So, I have become the kind of person that owns a table runner. I don’t have anything against table runners, understand, I just never actually owned one before. But while I was at the store last night hunting for dining room chair covers (to hide cat damage on our wicker-backed chairs), I saw one with gorgeous shades of burgundy, green and gold, and I got all excited because our kitchen is burgundy-colored and our dining room is green, and it just… matched.

Not only do I not recognize my home, I no longer recognize myself.

Speaking of the dining room chair covers… I know these things are really hip right now, I mean they are right there in the dining room on Will & Grace. I had to buy beige ones cause they were the only ones that were short (the long style would have become fur-trimmed, and not in a good way, in my house) and not too expensive. But they look like paint drop cloths. Really well fitting drop cloths. I think they look that way on Will & Grace too. Weird. Oh, and um, are you supposed to iron them? Cause I don’t have an iron and they sure are wrinkled (I used the BEST PRODUCT EVER on them—Downy’s Wrinkle Releaser—and it helped a little).

I guess I just don’t get it.

But you didn’t tune in today to hear me talk about home improvement, did you? You all came here to see what I think about this. I know because so many of you have sent me links to various articles about it.

Go on, catch up. I’ll wait.

So.

I’m not surprised by the findings. But, and this is going to sound harsh, I don’t really care.

Yes, of course, I’m very relieved to know that my surviving son didn’t feel any pain during my dilation and extraction procedure—the one that saved my life, and ended his. But in my heart, I already knew this. I knew that any pain he did feel would be much less than what he would have suffered during labor and delivery (extremely premature babies have little fat padding to protect them during delivery) and the pain and panic he would feel during his last moments of life, spent struggling for breath.

But the larger truth is that any momentary pain my son suffered is negligible compared to the pain and discomfort I was suffering. Not to mention the emotional agony my death would have afflicted on my husband, my mother, Sarah, and all my other friends and loved ones had I died. Hell, it would have been less than the sadness my dog would have experienced at my loss. Or of the doctors treating me. Or the strangers in the internet that have followed my story.

OK, you say, that makes sense when the mother’s life is in danger. But what about the women that choose to have a late-term abortion (only 1.5% of all abortions, by the way), you know, on a whim (right, like that EVER happens)?

Well, the momentary pain of a not-yet-sentient fetus is STILL going to be less than a woman’s labor pains, particularly if she is forced to labor and deliver a baby she doesn’t want. Or the poverty she and the child will live in if she can’t support the two of them. Or the pain of blows inflicted on the mother by an abusive boyfriend or husband (yet another pregnant woman was killed by her boyfriend just a few weeks ago--remember, murder is the number one cause of death for pregnant women).

In other words—in my opinion—no matter what the science says, a woman’s life and safety trumps a baby’s life every time.

Of course many of you don’t agree with me. I have come to accept that. I’m curious, though—does this new study comfort you at all? Does it help you to know that there isn’t physical suffering happening during abortions? Or do you have just as many scientists saying that the study is wrong?

I’d like to know. BUT REMEMBER—this is SUCH an emotional issue—KEEP IT CIVIL. Respect each other’s opinions. Anyone not nice gets deleted immediately.

And anyone who would rather not talk about this can discuss table runners and chair covers, of course.

Comments

[Cecily]

Ok, I'm weirded out that no one is commenting. Hmmmmmmm....

[Sarah]

It's totally bloglines fault. It doesn't say you have a new entry yet!

I'll comment! I think table runners are bizarre and it cracks me up that you are into them and that you now have chair covers and new furniture, but in a totally good way.

The only thing I'll say about the other part of your post is this: no scientific evidence is going to change the mind of anyone who is strongly opposed to abortion and opposed to a woman's right to choose.

[anon as usual]

what makes them say that the fetus cant feel pain? How do they know what the fetus can feel? They have nerves all over their body that were formed very very early on. And why would they NOT feel pain in utero, but, if they were born prematurely, suddenly,then they would? That doesnt make sense to me. An article I read recently refutes this "study". If you want to read it, go to this link. http://www.family.org/cforum/feature/a0037655.cfm

[Kate]

I can't bare the thought of any little one suffering, born or unborn, even though I have been down the road to abortion myself (mine was at 6 weeks, so I am pretty confident that the only suffering going on was my own.) But later term, do nerves only work after we are born?

That said, I love table runners. The wrinkle releaser works best if you have the slip cover lying on the bed, so you can pull and smooth out the wrinkles.

[Cecily]

Hey, anon... is that you, Holly? Cause you are both from the same town...

But I have to say that link has some valid points. Thank you.

[Lisa]

I actually wrote about the abortion debate recently on my blog. I put the link as my url. As a lifelong pro-choicer, it does make me feel better to know that the fetus doesn't feel too much pain but like you, it definitely wouldn't change my mine about being pro-choice even if the fetus did. Not because I'm a monster who wants babies to be in pain, but because I believe a woman's body is her own, and the choice of whether or not to carry a baby is her own.

[summer]

I think one thing that people often forget is that the reason we don't get babies RIGHT AFTER conception occurs is because the embryo/fetus/baby still has to develop. It isn't that a fully formed but very tiny baby is delivered to the egg by the sperm then enlarged during the 9 months they are in the womb (that's what people actually thought ages ago before microscopes showed that it was wrong). That is why the fetus needs to stay in a protected environment for those 9 months--to become properly developed so that a baby can survive on their own.

For the fetus to feel pain, not only do the nerves have to be developed but the circuitry in the brain that receive those impulses and interpret what it means needs to be developed also. These scientists in this study looked at cases where the fetus had to undergo surgery prior to birth. Some reasons they believe the fetus can't feel pain during the first two trimesters is because there was no physical reaction, their hormonal stress levels were not increased and they know from developmental studies that the brain circuitry hasn't fully developed by then.

[aderyn]

I got an abortion at 12 weeks. If someone had told me the fetus could feel pain right before my abortion, I would not have cared. That may make me sound cold, but at the time I was most concerned about myself and my own future. If the fetus had felt a few moments of pain, I would have been able to accept that. The study doesn't really comfort me, as I thought that it was the case all along.

Also, I have never seen a table runner before. I like it though. Nice.

[Trish]

Does the thought that unborn children don't feel pain prior to a certain point make ME feel better? Well, yeah- but I'm pro-choice, so does it count how I feel?

Frankly, I feel if it's POSSIBLE and if we knew for sure that unborn fetuses felt pain- we should try to alleviate that pain during the abortion process. Just like we try to alleviate pain during euthanasia when it comes to our companion animals. IF it would further endanger the mother, however- well, her life is first and foremost in my book.

[pam]

This is very interesting. I used to occasionally find myself at a pro-life website that claimed a fetus (embryo?) can feel pain at six weeks. I never believed that, but I'm not sure I'm convinced with this either. I get what 'anon as usual' is saying.

I also don't think there's suddenly going to be pro-lifers switching sides because of this. And I wouldn't go pro-life if there was a study that said the pain-feeling starts at four weeks. In other words, I think a lot more usually goes into it than that. I hope this makes sense.

[Dawn]

Bless you, Cecily!

[beth]

i saw that article, thought about sending you the link, then BITCH SLAPPED MYSELF for the thought. because, FUCK. you're about to start another cycle. WHY would i want to come bopping along with a "hey cec! how about you think about the boys some more! and whether or not they were in pain! and have a nice day!"

but obviously you wouldn't have taken it that way...even more obviously, though, i needn't have bothered sending it anyway.

[Connie]

I saw a glimpse of that article on the news the other day. I thought about it a bit, and tried to relate it to myself and my life experience - but I can't. I lost twins myself, and they both had died before my D&C took place - so these thoughts I have never had. I am amazed at how many people have blogged about how this "theory" is going to cause the abortion rate to skyrocket. I myself don't find this to be such a comforting thought - the hell that a person has to go through to make the decision and then LIVE with it is hardly calmed by "Well at least they didn't feel it." It doesn't change my views at all about abortion.... I am thankful I have never had to make a decision like that, and know that what is right for me isn't what is right for every other person and situation on earth.

[stephanie]

Pretty much you've all said it for me. As a compassionate person, of course I'd rather the fetus not feel pain. BUT, like ya'll said... fi they did, it wouldn't really change my opinion that much. Greater good rules.

[Jen, SN]

Delurking here, I'm a member of both the medblogs community and the infertility community...

I'm in nursing school right now, and part of that entails going into various areas where we think we might want to specialize. NICU is my chosen field, and so I've spent many days in various NICUs around the city. What always surprises me is how quiet the babies are, and upon reading this, it makes sense. I took care of one baby who had been born via c-section, and during the birth the surgeon had accidentally cut into the baby's shoulder. He had stitches and a big dressing there, but we could change the dressing and manipulate his shoulder without causing him any apparent pain. I believe he was about 27 weeks when I saw him.
this blog entry: http://snowdeal.org/section/ex_machina/2005/08/study-finds-29-week-fetuses-probably.html (can't get the html to work, sorry) was written by the father of a 24week baby, and he also talks about when they were in the NICU, the only crying they really heard was from the older babies--the ones past 29 weeks or so.

[Lisa S (et al, aka Stolidoli)]

I thought of you when I saw this story, though I don't have anything to add except that it's a relief in general to believe that it's accurate.

I do, however, like the table runner. You are a suburbanite now!

[Bridgette]

I'm sure your kitchen looks lovely. How about some pics?

[martha]

I remain pro-life as in my mind, life is life with or without pain. Not trying to debate, just registering my opinion. (LOVE that this comment section is civil!!!) I agree with those here that this study isn't going to change peoples opinions, but might change the procedure.

Regarding table runners, I have a bunch my grandma has quilted for me. They are lovely, but she always makes them in colors that clash with my house and about 2 feet too short! I don't use them, but feel guilty getting rid of them. Anyone have a short table that needs decorating?

[z.]

when I saw the chair covers in Will & Grace, I immediatly thought of Murphy Brown's house where Melvin (was that his name?) was always painting.

[Jessica]

Eh. Abortion isn't about the fetus, it's about the mother. No one will be persuaded or dissuaded by this. It is, of course, better if no one is in any pain, but fetuses don't really possess the consciousness for pain to be meaningful in any case--whether they feel pain, they can't be said to suffer.

And that's a lovely table runner.

[Rivka]

I not so much interested in the results of the study, because I don't think anyone's mind will change because of it. I am wondering, though, who paid for it. If one dollar of my tax money went into it, I'll be pissed. And insist they do a similar study on how much pain people suffering from terminal illnesses feel when the gov't tells them it's up to the politicians how they die.

[Kim]

Sorry if I seem dense, but I couldn't catch what your stance on late term abortion is Cecily.

[Kim]

Sorry if I seem dense, but I couldn't catch what your stance on late term abortion is Cecily. Just curious.

[ann]

i have to say that i love table runners, not for table running, but rather for covering dingy,old radiator covers. i tend to buy mine at the discount stores .. tj maxx, marshall's, etc....b/c as much as i enjoy them, i don't enjoy paying full retail.
on the other topic, i saw the headline and kind of breezed by it. personally, i find it hard to believe that a fetus doesn't feel pain, but that opinion is probably more the residual effect of 12 years of catholic school education rather than any scientific research on my part.

[Jes]

I am a long time lurker. I wanted to say that you write from the heart. Your post yesterday was beautiful.
I was also going to write about baby Odin and his parents, Eric wrote about that article yesterday and mentioned like Jen Rn said about micro preemies. Odin's story is inspiring and I have been reading his blog since he was born. New things for a house all ways makes me feel good. Jes