Randomness, and I need your advice on several topics

Too much going on in my head to formulate flowing thoughts. So here they are, in no particular order.

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In preparation for being pregnant again, I have begun to eat less salt. My blood pressure got higher by the time I was six or eight weeks pregnant last time, and the only normal BP I had while pregnant came the month I moderated my salt intake.

This is only a problem because I fucking ADORE salt. I'm the kind of person that will dip my spit-wet finger into the spilled salt on the scummy diner table and then suck it off my finger because I love it that much. There was a great story I read as a kid about people feeling salt was more precious than gold (and something about the king dying and the shunned daughter saved his life with salted bread--does anyone know what I'm talking about?) and I agreed. I LOVE ME SOME SALT.

So far all I'm doing is watching the salt volume of saltier foods and trying to keep it to about 3000mg a day. Next week I'll actually start thinking about how much is in my cereal, and salad dressing (usually a LOT) and that sort of thing. Eventually I'll try to get closer to 2000mg a day.

I'm also watching sugar/white flour stuff, just cause. But not rigidly. I've got to have something.

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On the health front, I just picked up some records at my general practitioner's to give to my RE. I only needed my culture results, but they also gave me the results of some basic blood work I had done, including a fasting glucose and a thyroid level.

I knew the tests had come back normal, but it turns out barely normal on both counts. My fasting glucose was 94 (100-125 is considered glucose/insulin resistant), and my thyroid was .65 (.4 to 4.0 is normal).

I know I should see a regular endocrinologist. My question is, now? Or wait until after FET/pregnancy/baby? Any thoughts?

Also, my cholesterol was 190, but my triglycerides were slightly high. More evidence of a need for healthy eating. In my twenties, I drank, smoked, and ate CRAP and my cholesterol was never above 130. Ah, youth.

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This is beatifully said. I've never been a huge Sharon Olds fan but I've known folks that have studied with her and say she's great. I feel like it's very brave of her to turn this invite down. Thanks to Tommybarbella for the link!

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Pete is flying in right this very minute. Sarah is beside herself. I can't wait to see him and meet his dogs!

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Speaking of Sarah, I am so dying to tell you about what will happen at her bachelorette party. Trust me when I tell you it will be beyond anything she can imagine. Heh. Well, maybe not. But it's gonna be hot.

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Does anyone else feel like The Daily Show isn't quite right? I didn't particularly enjoy last week's "Evolution, Schmevolution" thing. I'm not sure what's bothering me... Part of me is still irritated about his, well, completely sexist comments about Monica Lewinsky last week I guess. I'd like to know what you guys think... I'm really looking forward to Steve Colbert's new show, cause he da bomb.

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DailyKos has started a new site about religion and politics. Looking forward to reading it. They were apparently inspired to do it after seeing a presentation by Jim Wallis, a man who impressed me as well. DailyKos is another one of those places I linger even though they've displayed some pretty sexist ideology. I still learn things there I wouldn't hear about elsewhere.

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Tomorrow is the first day of fall. As much as I hate being hot, that makes me sad.

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I need to buy a new bra. I have ginormous boobs. Seriously. Sarah mentioned the other day that when I wear a corset, you can't look anywhere in a room except at my boobs, they are JUST THAT BIG. Any recommendations? And what does it mean if your underwires poke out in the middle? Is it too small? I don't know... but I want to have good liftage for Sarah's wedding, so I'll take all the advice I can get.

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Are any of you going to watch that new show about the Fertility Clinic? Or are we boycotting it as blogging infertiles? Do we have a stand? Cause I'm tempted, I gotta tell ya.

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Jennifer Weiner's new book is out. I think I will buy it tonight since the first chapter was on her website and I can't wait to finish it. Any other book recommendations?

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I think I could just keep typing my random thoughts until the end of time. But I'll stop now.

Comments

[cursingmama]

Wow - those were a lot of thoughts you had.
Hope the healthier eating thing works out for you, I'm sure you'll be fine as long as you don't set your standards and goals at a crazy level. But, I'm not here for the food stuff - I'm here for the boobs.
I had the extreme pleasure (ha) of going to a professional all we do is sell bra's store a few years ago and they had the most wonderful bra's that can't be bought at your regular stores (not even Nordstroms). The bra I got there was not only the best bra I ever had, but it also made my boobs look FANTASTIC and had NO WIRES! I'm sure the google could hook you up with a local shop!

[heatherg]

Um, ya......... I would get a thought about what/how to comment and then poof! You were on to the next and I cant keep up with all my thoughts and yours too.

Dunno about the bra, i think i am still wearing the ONE i had in high school as i suck at Bra shopping and can never find one that fits right. Yes folks, i said it, i have had the same damn bra for 12ish years and i still like it. (Although i do have others this one is my fave!)

Good luck with the whole salt thing, i've never been one for salt so i dont know how hard that is--- but OMG, no sugar????!!!
Good luck girl!

I like the fall........
and i'm dying to see photos from Sarah, I'm eagerly awaiting. Please, tell us about the party as soon as its "safe" !

[aderyn]

aw don't be sad about tomorrow, it's my birthday! also, definitely boycotting that stupid show.

i read in my biology book at school that a living being is defined as something that can reproduce. i was like, well, i guess all my bloggers are dead. and then i felt sad.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Bra - good luck. I DETEST bra shopping but wish I had the guts to go to a store and let a professional help me. The idea terrifies me (poor body image and all that, I guess).

On the endocrine front - I do think it would be a good idea to see a regular endocrinologist or at least discuss your results with the RE. I am NOT a doctor and freely admit I'm talking out of my ass here, but seeing your results makes me wonder if PCOS might be lurking around here not helping anything. I repeat, I don't actually know what I am talking about.

I generally assume the fertility clinic show is going to suck. However, if I were a TV watcher, I think it would be like a train wreck and I'd have a hard time NOT watching it. Luckily, we don't watch TV and don't have cable so our reception sucks.

We DO get to hear about Sarah's party after the fact, right????

[Elena]

Oprah did a show on the bra thing last season and I actually learned a lot from it! I didn't know, for example, that when you buy a bra, you should only attach the hooks and eyes to the first row, and then as the bra stretches and gets older you adjust it more inward. The bra "expert" on Oprah's show said that something like 90% of the women wear the wrong size!! Once she fitted some of the guests on the show, they looked fantastic in the right fit!! So I guess if I were going to go out and adjust in some new bras, I'd go ahead and spring for the proper fitting too.

[Kari]

My Tivo is set to record that new show. I figure I can't bad-mouth it until I've at least watched an episode or two...

[Celeste]

Salt--I really enjoy salt, too. You'll be amazed how loaded packaged food is--mostly in MSG (mmmmmmmm) but lots of times just as plain old sodium (canned veggies will blow you away with sodium content). My one and only piece of advice is to get a low-salt cookbook and start looking for all of the high-flavor things you can still use on foods. I thought lime and lemon juice were fantastic additions when I tried this diet a long time ago; also vinegar. Get ready to do without much cheese if you were a cheese-eater. Honestly, you will really need to cook from scratch, but OMG it's a healthy diet. I came away with a bigtime addiction to freshly ground black pepper; I reset my peppermill for a pretty chunky grind because I think peppercorns have almost a fruity taste when they are not ground into dust. I say you should allow yourself salt on one thing per day just to be able to look forward to it. Face it, there are some things that just aren't edible without it. I'd give you my own list, but I know you have one already. LOL Just make your portion of that food little, and SAVOR.

Endo--Hmmm, well, how long would it take you to get into an endo to get a consult? Technically your numbers ARE within the normal range, whatever that really means. If anything should be added to your cycle to address either issue (and we'd be talking Glucophage and Synthroid) you would surely want to start them at least a month before the actual stim cycle. Can't remember if you are doing Lupron first. I do know these two meds take some time to get your system changed around. Lots of REs think Glucophage is good for cycles in that it helps increase egg quality--may or may not be a concern for you, I know. My thinking is that it is getting more widely used all the time and it has a rep as a very safe drug for ttc and pg. I took it and we were both fine. If you get Glucophage, for the love of God ask for the extended release formula...the original formula can result in the worst explosive diarrhea EVAH.

Bra--the underwires pointing up like they do means your bra may be too large--specifically the band. When it pokes like this, do you have it hooked on the tightest set of hooks or the loosest? I like www.justmysize.com for bras because you can search by size--cuts the search way down. I've got my eye on some Glamorise bras but need to save up a while longer for my order because I am cuspy on cup sizes and need to try on both a C and D, all depends on the bra. Grrrr. Anyhow I'm wondering if one of those "posture" bras would help you get some lift going. I'm definitely intrigued.

[Peach]

Definitely have a professional help you (if you ahven't already). I dragged and pulled and FORCED my mother to a shop where the woman sized her and my mom had not only been wearing the wrong size, but wearing her bras wrong (as in not under her breasts, but sitting on her chest below them). After a week with a new, properly fitting bra, my mother's rack looked gorgeous (and apparently her hubby agreed so she said) and she said her back didn't hurt nearly as much either.

As for a corset, see if you can find the kind that not only extend up above the breast line (as some of the "sexier" ones stop at a demi-bra cup height) and one that laces all the way up and doesn't stop just below the breasts... that way, you can lace it up tighter at the top and sort of hold down the puppies if they're looking too, well, festive.

I didn't notice the Monica comment last week on The Daily Show, or if I did, I didn't notice it's sexism. I think he's been pretty OK so far... but that's just me.

[kimberly]

a. Salt -- I am married to a salt lover who comes from a long line of crazy salt people. My husband pours a pile and uses it to dip fries instead of ketchup. Gross. His father salts apple. Yuck!

b. I wouldn't worry about your lab results now. My glucose runs a little lower than yours right now, but it has been higher (I have PCOS and some IR). When you do get pregnant, ask to take the glucose test sooner than normal (they had me do mine at 10 weeks and then 20 or so weeks -- both normal). It should not prevent you at all from getting pregnant, but obviously you want to watch out for gestational diabetes and just your general health after you have a baby.

c. I hate the new correspondent on the Daily Show (he did the bum-vertising). He wasn't able to keep a straight face and kind of sucked, IMO.

I'm totally jealous of where you are in the getting pregnant game. I went to my RE Monday and got bad news. I may need another D&E because tissue was left behind in May. The alternative is my uterus is just f'd up. Ugh.

[Amanda]

I have huge boobs too (at least I used to). Even now at the smallest I've ever been (38D/DD) I still shop at Lane Bryant for all my bras. The nice padded ones they have now give great support and a super-sexy shape (something I desperately need as the girls get older). They usually have great service too and are happy to whip out the measuring tape to make sure you get the right size. (Although sadly I've noticed that the sales women DOG me now that I no longer fit into the clothes there).

[Peach]

Another thought ocurred to me... a good way to also downplay the boobs is with an empire gown... not always the most flattering on some women (I'm one of the lucky ones) but if you find the right kind, it can really downplay the boobs.

[Jen]

I have too have giant boobs, and also an underactive thyroid. If there is ever any question regarding your thyroid, definately go to a specialist. They can do more invasive blood work and can give you drugs that will make you feel magical. As for support, when in doubt, the uglier the bra, the more support it offers. If forced to wear a strapless, I always look for the ones that do not have any foam or shaped cups, as these add to the girth. Get a good fitting thin strapless bra and look to the dress you are wearing for the rest of the support.
Good luck!

[Melanie (Phila)]

I love salt too.
Apparently in some circles this site is supposed to be the end all be all to ward off high blood pressure during pregnancy: (basically, get 100 grams of protein a day). If you do aim for 100 grams, may I suggest Fage 2% yogurt, available at Trader Joe's-- has 17 grams per serving. Wish I'd known about it when I was cramming my day full of eggs & chicken.
And I don't remember what the deal is with the underwire poking out, I only remember that it means something is wrong and I had that problem, too.

[Jes]

As far as the Endo goes I would get check as soon as possible as it can impact a pregnancy. The voice of experience here. Better to be pro active.

[jennyg]

Hi!

Love LOVE your site. Can't help but assvice here, because we sound pretty familiar in some ways. I'm also a big girl, and I'm three months pregnant.

Please do SEE AN ENDO as soon as possible, pref. one that has lots of experience with pregnancy too. Can you really go through IVF without being screened very aggressively for PCOS and low thyroid?? My numbers were very, very similar to yours- and I have mild PCOS, mild hypothyroidism. Treated both over a year ago, immediately started ovulating regularly, and many weird symptoms (especially the arms falling asleep symptom and the bleeding between periods symptom) went away completely. I also try to eat a very low glycemic index diet, which I suggest you try particularly because of the preeclampsia. It often results in the needing to cook your own food, and not eating out or eating prepared food.. which is also great for salt! Some days I don't get *enough* salt eating like this. Takes an assload of time but highly recommended. SO much salt is hidden in Lean Cuisine, pizza, etc etc- it's a crime. I love salt too, but I like it on the *outside* of food where I can savor it. Yum.

Now I'm pregnant, and am staying on the synthroid and glucophage- and usually the need for synthroid goes up as your pregnancy progresses. Numbers aren't everything, and just because you are "in range" does not mean you are in the optimal range for pregnancy. You should be in the MIDDLE of the range. Many would argue that your thyroid should be no less than 2- certainly not UNDER ONE- for pregnancy!! And given your history, I would think you would be agressively treated with at least glucophage before your next pregnancy.

I think these issues are really crucial, and you owe it to yourself to pursue them as soon as you can. I think these things are under-diagnosed, and our weight makes these issues even more important- especially the blood sugar, even if we eat *perfectly*.

In case you go this route, some hints: they say synthroid needs to be taken on an empty stomach. THIS KILLED ME. You *can* take a higher dose with food- you just need to make sure you're consistent so when you get tested they know it's the real level. I'm on a very low dose, and it's surprising how much of a difference it made. Also with the glucophage (metformin)- I'm on also a low dose (one 500mg pill/day), I take it with dinner, and don't have too many problems with The Guts Problems with it.

Best of luck to you, and I hope these medications can help you the same way they seem to be helping me. I will be eager to hear the results. Remember, it's okay to be somewhat firm with the endo that you'd like to try these things, even though you're just "in range", to see if they would help. You have a very good excuse to try.

[Korin]

Love Jon Stewart. don't have cable. so i only see the daily show from feeds on the internet.. So.. have no clue what you're talking about. but I LOVE HIM. would marry him and bear his children. (hahahahha)

I dont' now about the new infertiltiy show. I'll watch it as a train wreck, and to mock it. but I think it won't do any good to shine light on the pain and misery of infertility. I think it will be all about the sex lives of the doctors, and you can bet your ass, no one is getting it on at my RE's clinic... unless you like dorky unattractive really smart doctors. ;)

[jennyg]

I just have to say I'm really embarassed with the length of my post, and I'm sorry to HEAP so much assvice on the comments! OMG!

[Anne]

I was never a huge salt fan (unlike my husband who will take a pinch of rock salt and eat it like candy) I’ve always been a sugar type of girl. With both parents at one time or another on high blood pressure meds and both grandfathers dieing of heart attacks (granted one of them really ‘lived’ life and that was a major contribution) I just figure for me it’s more a matter of when vs. if. Just in general I had been cutting back on the salt for years now, cooking with low salt/no slat caned foods/veggie and not adding much salt when I cook. The blood pressure was one thing I was most concerned about in regards to getting pregnant and as it turns out I was right to keep an eye on things although in my first trimester I was posting some of my lowest readings ever (go figure). Well it turns out I’m not very salt tolerant and every time I’m bad about watching the salt it has resulted in me having high BP readings. Mostly I just try to look at the labels of anything that is not fresh and go for the low salt stuff and limit myself to one meal that may or may not have a lot of salt in it. I have also had to cut out completely fast food, which at times has been a little hard (gawd can I tell you how much I WANT a chicken burrito supreme from Taco Bell right now). Usually just being aware of everything that I put into my mouth has been working well but if I end up going out to eat (say for example) 2 times in a row I can almost guarantee I’ll notice a spike in my BP readings (my OB has me taking my BP twice a day at home). I’ve also noticed (prior to getting pregnant and my mom has the same problem) that caffeine will also cause me to have a spike in my BP, so I’ve cut that out as well. I just thank god I did fine on my glucose test because you will only be pulling the bowl of ice cream out from my cold dead hands.

Someone mentioned getting a lot of protein, been doing that in the form of lots of low fat/no fat yogurt and soymilk and making smoothies with frozen fruit. I think the protein really helped in terms of feeling less nauseous during my first tri and now I make a smoothie for breakfast and lunch most days (and have toast and/or peanut butter and jelly sandwich with more fruit for lunch/snack). Don’t know if this has helped with the salt issue other than I’m not as tempted to eat something quick (= processed or made by someone else).

And I probably watch the new infertility show at least once, I’m a firm believer in it’s only fair to bash something after you’ve seen at least once.

[Gawdessness]

Please, find a specialty high end bra place that knows how to fit you properly. You are soooo worth it. All women are. Then you will have a true picture of what you need to wear. One of the best things thatI ever did. I am a big woman and have a big chest.

I went pre-eclamptic with both my pregnancies. Avoiding salt was really tough, so what I did was try and look at it like it was a big luxurious treat instead of an every day thing. Had chips out of the nicest bowl I own while watching a great film...etc. etc. Might help you. Also this may sound weird but unsalted hard boiled eggs really hit the spot and lessened my craving. I don't know why they just did. So does eating avocados.

That's all I feel even vaguely competent to comment on.

Good luck, I'm pulling for you.

[wavybrains]

Former salt addict here too. Avoiding salt has been one of my keys to health(ier). A few suggestions: Try cooking with low sodium chicken broth (ideally the no-salt added kind) for flavor instead of salt. Use no-salt tomato sauce in place of ketchup. You can get salt-free chips, tortilla chips, popcorn, and cereal in most big grocery stores now. Try shaking a salt-free seasoning blend on your snacks instead, or dipping in salsa. Eventually, your taste buds DO adjust. I now can't stand to add salt to anything when eating out, and use it very, very sparingly at home. If you must add salt at home, get a high-quality sea salt from a natural foods store--not only does it have more nutrients, but it also has way more flavor, so a little goes a long way. Cayenne pepper in small doses is another good subsitute. What I generally do is eat really good at home, and don't worry so much when I eat out--perhaps this will work for you--to still have your treats.

Also huge breasted, and seconding those who favored a professional bra fitter. When I can't afford "good" brands, the Just My Size line (available at fine Walmarts everywhere) is pretty good.

My endocrinologist has helped me so much. My fasting numbers are similar to yours (actually lower sometimes) but further testing revealed my PCOS and diabetes, so the fasting numbers aren't everything. I haven't attempted pregnancy yet, but I know that I'll be glad to have him on board if/when I do.

[Rachel]

I highly recommend www.breastisbest.com for larger-size bras. In particular the "Colesce" bra makes me look fantastic, with no underwires! They are very helpful on the phone too.

[boxing octopus]

i am SO FRICKIN EXCITED about the new jennifer weiner book. sadly, my birthday and payday both fall late next week, so i'm in a holding pattern (and also should be reading hundreds of other things, seeing that i'm a grad student in literature) bookswise. i would also recommend "bread alone" by judith hendricks. it was a very satisfying read and included bread recipes! i haven't read the sequel ("the baker's apprentice") yet, but am hoping it's just as lovely as the first one.

"a kiss from maddalena" by christopher castellani is very good (also just released a sequel, "the saint of lost things," which i also haven't read).

i hear good things about chitra divakaruni's "sister of my heart" and jumpha lahiri's "the namesake."

[Julie]

Ok, the only thing I am really qualfied to tell you is... you need to get fitted for a bra. Not at Vicky Secrets where you are lucky to find a D cup. At a honest to goodness lingerie shop where you will probably get feld up by an old lady and told exactly what size you should be wearing. You should go at least 1x a year to be resized because it does change (and why pass up a chance at getting felt up by an old lady right?).

[elizabeth]

I was just wondering what thyroid level they tested?? If it was a TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) and it was 0.6 than that is good, because you are not stimulating thyroid to be made so you have plenty (from what I remember from school). If it was just a T4 level than yes, you may be a little low. Just FYI. This is stuff I learned after trying to explain it to my dad when he thought his levels were off.

Bra shopping sucks. Try getting a 44 barely B. (not that im complaining...i like my small boobs!)

[Janis]

I take care of an older gentleman a couple Sunday's a month. He has several health issues that require special cooking.

Salt subsituite works great and tastes just like the real thing.

Splenda is great for baking, in coffee, tea, etc. Tastes just like sugar but does not affect blood glucose levels like sugar does.

I use splenda with my cooking at home and the family cannot tell the difference.

Bras- I agree with previous posters. Lane Bryant. They are spendy but damn, they do hold up. Not just the boobage, but they hold up for years and don't wear easily.

No more advice, just thinking good thoughts for your upcoming cycle, your health and Charlie.