The Blessed Doctor

I love my obstetrician. Really really REALLY love him.

I spoke with him this week just to let him know we were planning to do a transfer again, and he asked me to come back in and repeat some blood work because the results were messed up from the ones we did in February. As he put it, "they say you are both high and low" so we had to do them again. Bringing my blood vials drawn this week (so far) to a glorious 11.

While I was getting the blood drawn, Dr. Mama walked in. I swear to you the room brightened. He is so sweet, so genuine, and just so motherfucking kind that I felt immediately relaxed before he said anything more than hello.

When we spoke on the phone I told him I hadn't managed to lose any weight, really, since I'd last been in. His response? "Oh, that's life, don't worry about it." Don't you just want to kiss him?

The blood tests are looking for rare clotting disorders that could have been the cause of the death of the first twin (when I was pregnant before, for those arriving late, when I went in for my 22-week ultrasound we discovered one of the boys had already passed away, before realizing I had severe preeclampsia and was going to be hospitalized. In fact, it was only because Dr. Mama wanted to make sure I was "ok" emotionally after getting this news that we discovered the preeclampsia at all). If it turns out I have the disorders, there is a treatment protocol that should prevent the same problem from occurring again. You know, we hope.

Dr. Mama told my friend Jo (who referred me to Dr. Mama--again, thank you thank you Jo) that doing my dilation and extraction procedure was the worst day in his professional career (pretty considerable, since it spans over 25 years), because he knew how much we'd wanted those boys. While I'm sorry, of course, that it was his worst day, I am so grateful for his empathy.

Today we just spoke briefly. He told me how happy he is for us that we're trying again, which is just such a nice thing to say, considering that another doctor in his office gave me quite the doom and gloom scenario (a 50%- 75% chance of preeclampsia happening again--a completely inflated number, by the way, according the data on preeclampsia.org). He asked how many embryos we'll transfer (the answer is two), and told me to call next week to get the results.

Again, in case you are coming to this game in the eight inning (oh my god, I'm using a sports metaphor), my retrieval April 2004 yielded a whopping 35 eggs, of which 27 were "good" and 17 fertilized. We couldn't do a fresh embryo transfer that first cycle because my ovaries were the size of soccer balls. Yes, literally. I had a nice yummy case of Ovarian Hyperstimilation Syndrome. I went on the pill for a month, and in June we did a frozen embryo transfer of three lovely grade-B eight-celled embryos. Two of those puppies stuck, and boom! Preggers with twins. The rest, as they say... well, you know what happened next.

Charlie (who wrote a great post about all of this, by the way, you should go read it) and I initially discussed just doing single embryo transfers for a while, but after much pushing on my part bullying yelling discussion we've decided to transfer two because I think only one is a waste of time. We'd like to avoid twins again, but... I'm ready.

You hear that people? I'm fucking READY.  Tomorrow is cycle day nine, and I have another visit with the dildocam and might be starting some progesterone (although I am totally not going to start that until AFTER the fab bachelorette party Saturday night).

It's time. I'm done waiting. Ready.

Comments

[heatherg]

I'm fist, I'm first.
But now i need to hit the "post" button so i can remain first!!

[heatherg]

I was in such a hurry that i spelled first wrong, the first time. But who gives a shit because I was FIRST!!!! Got that? FIRST!

(I'm never first at anything so it was very exciting for me.)

Now, YOU GO GIRL!
Listen to you........ your ready and thats that!

I'm ready for you! And i think implanting 2 is a great idea even if you had to simply explain that to charlie using a slightly elevated voice and 4 letter words..... lol

I'm so excited for the 2 of you!
Have fun at the party!

[Steph]

*big hugs*

Good for you.

If you need any info on clotting disorders, let me know. On my stillbirth board there are 3 mamas there, each with a different clotting disorder that resulted in the loss of their first child. They have done a lot of research on clotting disorders and future pregnancies (one just delivered her second son over the weekend).

[Aitch]

You sound good and ready and refreshed and that is great to hear. No doubt the love you have from your OB and Dr. Mama is helping right? Chin up and all that stuff:)

[Melanie (Phila)]

You're ready?! I can't tell you how excited it made me to read that. I'm ready to jump around yelling "Woo Hoooooo!" Yay, Dr.Mama & his wonderful bedside manner!!!

[mamadaisy]

Wow! I am so damn proud of you and happy for you to be trying again. Most people don't realize how much bravery it takes. You are so strong!

[Debe]

I have a rare clotting disorder, found out last month. My little sis is 6th months pregnant and I'm so thankful I got sick so they could find this disorder and test and treat my sister for it. It was worth being hospitalized if it saves her and my future neice/nephew's lives!
If you do have one, they have treatments, that's the good news.

[Daisy]

We're rooting for you down here in FL! I'll keep you in my thoughts and send good fertility vibes your way!!!

[Marianne]

Have faith!

I lost my first son Alex at 22 weeks...just like you....had to do labor and delivery with him also...

Ended up pregnant again and was to determined to have another baby. Grant was born at 42 weeks at 10 pounds...had another boy 3 years....now they are 16 and 19...

I'm cheering you on Mom!

[dish]

Keeping you in thoughts and prayers as you approach your FET. Glad to hear you say "I'm ready." Good luck.

[Jennifer]

Wow, you are so amazing. You are in my thoughts and I will be checking on your FET progress.

I am starting my first IVF cycle. Stims will start next week so we should be close together in timing.

Good luck, Cecily.

[Catherine]

KICK ASS, WOMAN.

[Kari]

I have no idea what to say, but reading you say you're ready brought tears to my eyes. You are so strong. Good luck to you!

[Amyesq]

I am SO HAPPY to hear you say those words, girlie! I don't know what it was... the mourning, the weekends in the woods, the move, the friends, the combo of all of the above, but I am so glad to hear you are ready. And we are ready to be here for you.

[Sarah L]

Hot diggity Dog! Whoo hoo! Hip hip Horray!
I love love love Dr Mama.

Sarah

[Rachel]

ALL ABOARD THE BABY TRAIN!!!!!!!!!!

WOO WOO!

Hop on, kids, it'll be a wild and EXHILARATING ride!

Rach

[hotmama]

I have been reading you for a while now but don't think I have ever commented. I figure now is the best time ever. I wanted to wish you Charlie great wonderful luck in the creation of your baby!!!!!

[Michele]

YIPPEE!!!!!! I'm so excited for you. I hope the blood tests come back fine and that your appointment with the dildo cam is uneventful.

[Julie]

...considering that another doctor in his office gave me quite the doom and gloom scenario (a 50%- 75% chance of preeclampsia happening again--a completely inflated number, by the way, according the data on preeclampsia.org).

But was the doctor in his office giving you numbers based on your personal history, or just in general? This is what keeps me awake at night as I wonder whether we'll ever try again. I know what the numbers are for the general population, but when we consider my particular case, the numbers shift dramatically. And then I get hung up once again on the knowledge that even those numbers don't mean a lot, since they're only theoretical predictions.

I, uh, spend a lot of time awake at night.

[Queenie]

Six vials in a week? Wow, can I say how much I don't miss the Infertility Train? Yech. And I think you and your husband are so brave to try again, after the hell last time. And I'm glad to hear that there may be a treatment protocol, if blood clotting was indeed the problem--I was around last year, but I guess I missed that. I thought it was just a horrible freak accident. Maybe this means good things for your future--I hope so.

[Anne]

I’m so happy you went to go see Dr. Mama and that he’s give you so much peace and hope, as a result I’ve got the biggest, stupidest grin on my face right now. Did you guys go today or was it Thursday? I’m just curious because Fridays rock (for obvious reasons) and today is shaping up to be one hell of a wonderful day. You know we seriously need to clone Dr. Mama because even though I like my OB I don’t even know your OB and I love him!

Another thought, are you still going to do an unmedicated FET? I’d be interested in hearing about the protocols if you do.

[kim]

I wish you all the best, because you certainly deserve it. I really don't know what else to say--your strength just continues to amaze me.

[Korin]

I'm happy you're ready. :D and I'm so cheering you on. :) Aw crap, now I'm gonna cry! I blame it on the PIO. ;)

[Pamplemousse]

Fantastic news, Cec! I can feel the positivity radiating out from the monitor. As my journey ends, I will cheer you on from the barren sidelines.

[liz]

What everybody else said.