Get the Metal Out
Today was our busiest day post baby.
At 8:30am (a time at which I was shockingly awake) we had our last (SOB!) appointment with Dr. Mama. He took out my staples and said the incision looks good; it probably was infected but we caught it in time. I cannot believe how much better the incision feels without all that metal in it. So glad that is done.
He said if I'm feeling alright I can skip the six-week post birth appointment, which I'm sure I'll do. There is only one doctor left at that practice I can stand, so I'd rather not return there if possible.
After that appointment, we stopped by my job to show Tori off. Because my shop is so isolated from everyone, I often feel like I have no colleagues at my job (other than the lovely students that work for me, who are all young enough to be my kids if I'd started having them when I was 18). But, apparently, by showing up with a baby, suddenly I have TONS of co-workers. Tori must have been passed around to twenty different women. It was adorable.
We came home, got a quick nap, and then it was off to her first pediatrician appointment.
One thing I've come to realize in this last, oh, nine days or so, is that I can tell you a ton about how to get pregnant. I can regale you with all kinds of infertility facts, pregnancy facts, how-to-track-your-cycle facts, but I know FUCK ALL about babies. I don't know anything about development milestones. I have a serious lack of baby books in the house (I have a couple different parenting books, but nothing about baby development). So I was looking forward to the appointment to give me some guidance.
The only things we learned are that we shouldn't be sleeping with the baby (cause we'll roll over and kill her) , that we shouldn't take her outside for walks (um, took her for a walk the first day we were home--I mean, dudes, we have a BUGABOO to show off here! Not to mention one damn fine looking baby), and that we shouldn't allow people to hold her that haven't washed their hands (like, say, an office full of women).
So, so far so good. Right?
I am not germ phobic, or even particularly germ aware. I do not believe in antibacterial anything. I believe washing things in warm water and soap is sufficient. I would rather the nurse on our last day in the hospital hadn't coughed directly on the Tori, but I imagine she'll survive. If someone has just gone to the bathroom, sneezed in their palms, or been petting infected monkeys I guess I'd like them to wash their hands before they hold Tori. But otherwise I just don't worry about it. So I just smiled and nodded while the nurse-practitioner gave us the germ lecture.
As far as co-sleeping, oh for fuck's sake. Something like half the world practices co-sleeping. Places like China and India in particular where they are CLEARLY having a population problem because of all the crushed babies. WHATever. More smiling and nodding.
The walking outside thing? Well, that she said wasn't a big deal. Not compared to the other issues.
Heh.
Things are going well here. Still getting three hour stretches of sleep. Pumping more often, getting a little more milk. Tori is still refusing to latch, but we keep trying. Oh, and Hammer finally decided to adopt Tori--yesterday was the first time he came over to sniff her and wagged his tail at her. The cats, however, continue to be utterly horrified.
Lastly, I think I have my Tanya's confused. So if you were the Tanya that sent the adorable Gymboree stuff, those photos were for you, even if you don't live in Japan. Sorry about that!
Have a great weekend, folks. It's gonna be hot here... it might be time for a germ-filled, dirty-hands-holding-the-baby, dangerously outdoor picnic. With a co-sleeping nap, of course.
I'm so proud of you for smiling and nodding. :)
We co-sleep, too - and for breastfeeding it totally rocks. Chloe didn't latch on until she was almost 3 months old and then nursed like a pro until 2 weeks before her 1st birthday when she decided she was weaned. :)
Keep on doing what you are doing and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
HUGS to the Tori-girl.
Posted by: Leah | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:20 PM
Um, Cecily, have you thought about shopping around for pediatricians? Maybe looking for someone who's manner and beliefs work well with your own? You will be spending an awful lot of time with your pediatrician and even more time with your pediatrician's staff, so it's important to like each other and relate. Try to imagine the length, complexity and dependence of your relationship with Dr. Mama times 10.
Posted by: Anna H. | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:21 PM
This baby sleeping in its own bed in another room is purely a 20-th century American thing. You're fine. It's better for breastfeeding too!
The germ thing - if the baby gets a fever before I think 6 or 8 weeks of age (I can't remember which and it might be less for a preemie) it can be a big deal in that they will admit her and do a spinal tap. I didn't know that until it happened to my 3rd. And it seemed like it was pretty standard too. I'd just be a little careful of that because sleeping on a hospital cot while your baby is in there is the pits!
Posted by: Elena | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:21 PM
A topic for your next dinner party: one of the major causes of infant death in the Middle Ages was smothering due to co-sleeping. Toddlers: falling into wells. The 5-8 range for boys: falling off of haystacks. 5-8 girls: scalding while helping their mothers cook. And yet... western civilization survived!!
I could never co-sleep with mine as babies because I felt I was a good candidate for the roll-over... can't tell you how many times the cat was kicked completely off the bed before I awoke and realized I'd been kicking the cat. But they sleep with me all the time now.
Do what's right for you. And I second the suggestion that you find a pediatrician who supports your parenting philosophy. Germs or no, you will spend a LOT of time at that office.
Posted by: anglophilia | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:29 PM
I wasn't told the outside for walks thing, or about cosleeping by our pediatrician...
Hmm.
He did say not to take her out in public for 8 weeks, which I summarily dismissed. Uh, I am at home with 2 kids. Though I do Peapod, occasionally I have to go to the store, pharmacy, or bank to do something.
I notice they had little problem making us come to their office 4 times in the first 2 weeks (Lindsay lost about 15% of her weight initially...we also had an ER visit) which has to be the WORST place to be if you don't want to come down with some horrible, awful thing spawned by a germy child.
You're Tori's mom so you're already the expert on how to take care of Tori. :)
Posted by: Heather | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:31 PM
Yeah for confident parenting and go get a nice pedaetrician. These visits are so much more fun if you get reassurance and an opportunity to bragg..
Posted by: mijk | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:39 PM
I agree on shopping around for pediatricians--you aren't obligated to see whoever saw her in the hospital. Find one you're comfortable with, and Dr. Mama could probably recommend one!
Sounds like everything is going pretty good for someone who knows nothing about babies :)
Posted by: Whitney | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:41 PM
It's a little scary when you've spent all this time trying to to pregnant and then one day, there's a baby!
I have the Dr. Sears Baby Book and I love it. It was really great the first six months. Oh, and good for you for not being intimidated by the nurse. (NOt that you seem like you intimidate easily. Quite the opposite, I'd guess.) Anyway, you are Tori's parents and you really do know what's best for her.
Posted by: Stephanie | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:42 PM
I second (or third, fourth, whatever) the "get a new ped" thing. We just switched ours after our 6 month visit, when the young, snobby doctor not only said that I was spoiling her by nursing her to sleep, but also made fun of me for crying at my daughter's vaccinations. To my face. With a seriously cold, mean sneer in her voice. And no, I did NOT overract just because I'm a first time Mommy. *hehe* Anyway, do a switcheroo until you feel comfy with voicing your opinions and accepted by the ped.
Can't wait for the next bunch of pics!
Posted by: Kier | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:43 PM
We co-sleep as well and love it. My reasoning is the baby starts out in such a confined and secure place and it seems lonely to be put in a place to sleep all by his/herself. Growing up I shared a bed with my sister and as adults we grow up and sleep with someone. It just seems more cozy and more safe. Anyway, I am a light sleeper now that we have a baby so I pretty much know where he is in the bed at all times and when I wake up to check if the baby is breathing/still alive I do not have to look far.
As for germs, well I am particular because you just never know especially with a baby that is so new to this big 'ol world.
We have cats also and it seems as if they think, "Hmmm, it is small like us, but it looks like them." Now that our baby is walking he love to chase them and giggle.
Walking should be fine. WTH! It is good exercise and fun for the whole family.
Tori is precious. Best wishes to your new family.
Posted by: Sharon | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:43 PM
Have you considered getting a co-sleeper for your bed? This would allow for snuggle time just before sleeping and then you can just scoot her over.
As far as the hand-washing thing, I think that really only applies for the first month or so. You might find, however, that something like a dry handwashing product like Purell hand sanitizer isn't a bad idea, because she gets to eating more over the next several weeks and months you're going to be changing A LOT of diapers. My husband and I found that all the post-poop hand washing took a real toll on our hands, so we switched to hand sanitizer.
Posted by: purrrkat | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:50 PM
Of Tori's many blessings was the smarts to be born after RSV season had past and most other germs are not the go back to the hospital type...
In Mexico where my oldest was born the docs recommended sunlight (for slight jaundice) but no wind.
Elia got RSV despite our keeping her out of the wind. We always suspected our peds office.
Hallie and Deana got Synergis (the vaccine for RSV) monthly for 7 months for $400/ a month out of pocket. Did not get RSV though.
Your timing is impeccable and Tori is too wonderful for words.
Mazeltov-
Posted by: Cathy | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 06:58 PM
Thank God you're not one of those germaphobic moms! Please, a little grime might actually be good for your kids... ;-)
Posted by: JennyK | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:03 PM
Ha! I love that you smiled and nodded, knowing full well you were going to go home and continue your "bad habits." It took me until my second child to be that brave. Well, except that we had a walker aka Baby Death Trap, which I put both children in. (I mean, c'mon, there were no stairs and it wasn't like they were going anywhere on my plush carpet)
Both of my children regularly eat dirt, too ...
Posted by: Daisy | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:20 PM
I'll second the Dr. Sears baby book, and the one about night time parenting...and the one about older kids...and....and...and. But, I love Dr. Sears and wished he could have been my kid's pedi.
Posted by: margi | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:31 PM
Yeah, the pediatrician doesn't sound too great. Good for you on the smiling & nodding. If you want books, I got 'em.
Posted by: Meira | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:44 PM
hehehe - fays co-sleeps (we did finally get a slide bed cosleeper btut hats cos we have a uk double bed) and was sling worn (until she was about 14 months and too heavy for me) and was out in public about 2 days after she was born and travelled over 2,000 miles before she was 6 weeks old.
ignore all doctors etc unless they are about to operate on your child is what i have learnt. the only book i go back to is the 'baby whisperer' and it works for us.
own cots & rooms and prams were all brought in by the victorians and then exported to the USA as the fashionable thing to do...
enjoy parenthood - it will teach you everything you ever knew.
Posted by: anam | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:54 PM
I won't offer unsolicited advice unless asked...LOL..because I hate that (no offense to the above commenters intended). My personal take on things was f*%k the books, and f*%k what the pediatrician/midwife/LaLeche crazy woman/every other person with an opinion says. I did what felt right for my husband and I, if we felt seriously lacking in some department I might have looked up a thing or two on the internet, in a book or asked a few close friends who I knew wouldn't keep me on the phone for hours telling me horror stories about their birth story...hehe. I have two boys and well, neither of them have died yet. *wink* HUGZ to you all, you sound like you are doing a fantastic job!!!!!
K.
Posted by: Kris | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 07:55 PM
I used to put my kids in my bed for middle of the night feedings, only to wake up at some odd and bright hour of the morning to realize that we both slept a hell of a lot better together! Currently hubs and I sleep with a 5 pound wiggle worm of a dog and haven't managed to do any damage to her in her nearly 9 years of life (although a few weeks back hubs "accidentally" kicked her right off the bed...OOPS!) so I think this baby will be fine in our bed too. As long as the dog doesn't object, ya know! LOL
Posted by: Kerry | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 08:22 PM
It can be a bit cheesy, but I liked the "What to expect the first year" book...looks like the "what to expect when you're expecting" one. The part I liked is a monthly list of what may occur in the various developmental areas--just have to keep in mind that your kid will likely be a little advanced in some areas, a little behind in others, and right on the money in most. I wouldn't consider it child development bible or anything, just an easy reference to check and say "aaah, so that's what that is" or "oh, she IS supposed to be doing that now" or "OMG! We have the most brilliant child ever; she's not supposed to do that for two more months!"
High five on the smiling and nodding. I'm impressed...lol. More pictures please!
Posted by: Jaycie | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 08:25 PM
From now till Tori is grown with her own kids, you'll be getting so much assvice and most of it will be contradictory.
We co-slept for a while with Felix. He was 4 pounds 7 ounces when we brought him home and I could not understand why anyone would tell me to leave him in a 'box' someplace other then where I was. I had to have him right by me.
He eventually got too 'wiggly' and we both slept better with him in his crib right next to my bed. He eventually moved to his own right last November when we moved here to Hawaii and his room was right next to ours.
He'll be 2 next month and I have never had a problem getting a full nights sleep.
As for books, I skipped them and went straight to my Mom. The books scared me, Mom doesn't :)
Posted by: Gina | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 08:49 PM
All that I can recommend is that you remove all the needles, guns and knives from your bed before you co-sleep.
Jesus, people. It's a bed, not a busy interstate. If you know all the common-sense rules (no fluffy comforters, no extra pillows, no intoxicated parents), co-sleeping is heaven. Oh, just wait. When Tori latches properly, and you're able to nurse her in bed without dragging your sleepy self from bed? No amount of lecturing from a pediatrician will coax you to move her out of your bed. You might even (gasp) change her wet diaper in your bed and go back to sleep instead of washing your hands.
Glad to hear that her first ped appointment, and your staples removal, went well. You made it. :)
Posted by: Abby | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:03 PM
We took our daughter (two weeks old at the time) to a Chicago White Sox Game. oops!
We co-slept--both of us are light sleepers, but we did buy a co-sleeper mini to put her in so we could get a little more rest.
Posted by: melissa | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:10 PM
God, I felt so much better after my staples were out!
Seriously, get another ped. I kept feeling silly for wanting to change, since there wasn't anything wrong with mine. We just didn't click. Well, I finally switched, and I can't believe the difference it made. I wish I had done it sooner.
As a parent, you have a lot of times where you think "If I knew than what I know now, I would to ______ differently". Well, one thing I'll never regret is co-sleeping. It just just felt right. You will know what is right for your family.
Posted by: Elizabeth | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:15 PM
Time to pediatician shop! If you were still over here I'd reccomend mine......3 women Pediatricans with 9 kids between them......never blink and eye at co-sleeping and really give a shit about kids......
I hope you can find a kindred spirit Pediatrician!
Jo-Ann
Posted by: Jo-Ann | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:18 PM
Cecily!
I am so, so happy for you - it's pretty crazy considering I don't even know you other than over an internet connection!
You inspired me to do so many things - including IVF - we begin our journey in just a few weeks!
Just knowing that after all that pain - the joy I can clearly see behind your words here ....if you can do it, so can I!
Tori is absolutely adorable! I just grin when I think of you and Charlie happy at home with that liitle one! (Germs and all!)
God I hope you keep writing!
(that was a lot of exclamations!!!)
Sherry
Posted by: Sherry | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:24 PM
You sound so lucid and sane! Yay!
No baby books here either. Isn't that what friends and the blogosphere are for? But don't go by my example, we're still nursing at night and co-sleeping.
Posted by: SusieJ | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:50 PM
Ha!
It sounds like you're doing just great.
In general, babies tend to be more likely to latch when they're drowsy, so you may have more luck at night with the latching. But she'll get it in the next few weeks--she just has to get a little bigger.
Posted by: Moxie | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:57 PM
Oh, and thank God for no infection!
Posted by: Moxie | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 09:57 PM
I am SO glad to hear that you are doing well, and thank god for getting the staples out. Congrats on your ADORABLE girl :) :)
You know, just a little note here with all of the co-sleeping pshaw comments- there are safer ways to co-sleep. C, you and I both share many of the things that can make cosleeping dangerous: being obese, having asthma, having nose problems. Ignoring these issues due to some sort of pressure to never say anything against co-sleeping isn't the best thing to do. Especially if pets also share your bed (or could without waking you up).
We found this little thing to be very useful- it's called a sleep nest and there are a few kinds around. She's still right next to you, but the soft little "wall" keeps pillows, blankets, (dogs, cats, breasts) away from her sleeping face, and the surface she's sleeping on is firm with a very tight sheet- different than most people's mattresses. Ours was cheap at toys 'r us (it was called the "lil snuggler sleep nest"). It's worth looking into. I found that sliding her down on the little sleep pad and nursing her and sliding her back into the nest was very super smooth for not waking her up after nursing at 4am!
Also, not so much with the passing around the baby thing. Colds can be dangerous before two months, when their immune system kicks in... you might want to read a dr. sears book or two. Nothing sucks more than a sick baby! You put SO MUCH effort into getting her here- a few hints about how to keep her healthy may go a long way. We did not bring her out of the house for the first month and a half except for the doctor, when we were hand sanitizer crazies during and after those appointments. Anyway, Sears is a great first reference to go to. Good website too, I think it's askdrsears.com.
How's that for annoying assvice?! But, come on. A baby with a cold, I would never, ever wish on you, poor little kittens they are. -j
Posted by: jennyg | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:03 PM
Good Lord, It isn't RSV season. I would go out as needed.
We live on the eat dirt theory. Kids don't die from eating dirt, they just get stronger immune systems
Posted by: SpaceMom | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:09 PM
Before I went to seminary I was a developmental psychologist. IMNSHO, most child care books are more medically oriented than developmentally oriented....the kind of advice you got, which btw changes over time. What I was told with my first baby was radically different than what I was told with the last one. It sounds like you have a very sensible attitude about parenting.
You might consider looking for a good developmetnal psych textbook...lots of info about development...NO ADVICE.
Posted by: Rev. Dr. Mom | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:09 PM
I really, really hate it when people are obsessively overprotective of their babies, but I gotta tell ya my old next door neighbor really did roll over on her little girl, and the baby died.
Other than that, I like SpaceMoms eat dirt theory sounds pretty good.
Posted by: GZ | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:32 PM
You know, it's pretty clear that you have enough common sense to know when your pediatrician is full of it. So I'm pretty sure that you know enough to raise one fine kid.
Posted by: jennifer | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:38 PM
Remembering the first baby I am AMAZED you accomplished so much in ONE day and you did not have a melt down. Seriously!
Posted by: maia | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:39 PM
I'm with everyone else - get a new baby doctor. Co-sleeping is fine as long as you follow the rules (like don't get drunk, which I DON'T THINK WILL BE A PROBLEM HERE), and in fact lowers the risk of SIDS. Not to mention the better sleep you all get. Ok, maybe not Charlie, but you and Tori definitely. And as for antibacterials - I'm a biologist, and I teach about this stuff. Antibiotics everywhere are creating a horrible environment full of resistant germs, and all experts in bacteriology and communicable diseases are now saying ixnay on the antibacterial soaps and stuff. Getting exposed to germs (within reason) is the best primer a baby's immune system can get.
Posted by: Car | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 10:47 PM
Congratulations on everything. I hardly know you and only rarely read your blog but it has filled me with hope that I can have a baby too, despite all my worst fears about the preeclampsia happening again, and my current failure in that department...
As for co-sleeping, do it and do it proudly. Never let her sleep alone in some cold room down the hall. Keep her close to you for as long as you can. She is precious.
xxxxx
Posted by: Kate Gladman | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 11:18 PM
Do you know how ahead of the game you are being so laissez-faire and comfortable as a new mom? Honey, you're a natural!
(But if you're looking for suggestions for books Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach is a great one. Very no nonsense.)
And I'm sorry, but one more post without a picture of that gorgeous baby and I might just have to stop reading you altogether. :::fist in mouth muffling loud sob:::
(Kidding!)
Happy Weekend to you all and HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO CHARLIE! (Yes, all caps. It deserves to be shouted.)
Posted by: Ninotchka | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 11:40 PM
You know what I quickly found out? That nobody gives those parenting books to the kids so that they can read them and figure out what they are "supose" to be doing. I really only use mine for trouble shooting these days.
FWIW I think the whole co-sleeping issue needs to be reevaluated, it just works so well with breastfeeding and like you said most of the rest of the world seems to do just fine.
Posted by: Anne | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 11:41 PM
I was full of all kinds of replies to the assvice you recieved today, but it seems everyone else has beat me to it. Ain't that the story of my life. ;>) You don't need all the books to be a good mother, just a good gut instinct, and that you have in spades.
Posted by: Melessa | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 11:58 PM
I have to add my thoughts here as well. I tried to lay my child down in his own crib at night initially, because "that's what you do". I woke the first night to feed, he finished, I put him back. He woke an hour and a half later to feed, I woke up, got him, he finished, I said "fuck if I'm getting out of this warm bed again" and that was the beginning of about 9 months of co-sleeping. For a few weeks I worried about the whole "roll over on the baby" scenario, not for me, but for husband who's a pretty heavy sleeper. I got one of those snuggler's nest whatevers--used it for the short period of time until he grew too long. By then he'd matured enough to give a few good kicks so I worried less. I used the crib so little I think I changed the sheets 3 times in the first 6 months. But it sure looked pretty when I showed off the nursery.
I also took the baby out for the first time when he was 5 days old. I was so stir crazy that I had to do something--so to the grocery store I went. An older woman looked fairly startled and said "and how old is he???"
Hmmm, I took him to my workplace just after being discharged from the maternity ward--I work in the emergency department and walked through to show him off. Of course, everyone was hands off. Even though I'm pretty lax about somethings, I know not to let anyone get their grimy hospital hands on my two day old baby. Now when we visit, my now 2 year old likes to gnaw on the counters at work. Building up that healthy immune system, I guess.
I have to second the commenter above about the antibacterial soaps and sanitizers. We have bugs that becoming more resistant and it's really a little frightening. Just say no!! And don't demand antibiotics right up front. (OK, sorry about getting up on my soapbox)
I too would be a little leery of going to a pediatrician who seems to be so black and white about things--they must realize that some kids cosleep, some watch more than the recommended TV time, some won't get fed exactly to their recommendations. I felt sorry for my sister-in-law who routinely lies to her peds about cosleeping, breastfeeding at night, etc. A visit to the peds shouldn't be so judgemental.
So no real advice from me. Just a long, rambling dissertation on what worked for me. And I'm a doctor.
Posted by: Sarah | Friday, June 16, 2006 at 11:59 PM
And no, by that I don't mean, pay attention to what I say because I'm a doctor. I just mean I was winging it in those first days as well.
Posted by: Sarah | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 12:26 AM
I don't know what I think about co-sleeping in general. I just know I couldn't do it. Two adults, 2 babies, thick comforters, lots of pillows and an aging cat just seemed like a recipe for disaster. Plus one of our babies is a very noisy sleeper. We quickly decided their room was the best place. Plus someone was up around the clock feeding and changing them anyway, so the only place it made sense for them to sleep was their crib. But you should do what you are comfortable with. I have friends who are cosleeping and completely happy with it. So it's really an individual thing.
I agree that it's best to make people wash hands before touching Tori, at least for the first couple of months. Her immune system isn't built yet. My mom the nurse taught me about that one.
I don't see how walks could hurt. Ours were born in Dec., so we had to keep them in because of weather.
You're doing great, and happy Father's Day to Charlie!
Posted by: kathleen999 | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 12:59 AM
Hey! Sounds like you're doing great!
I did sleep with my babies and found they laid right there in the crack of my elbow, and I didn't move all night. It also helped keep their little heads at a slight angle so they didn't develop flat baby head.
ON A SAD NOTE: This happened to a friend of the family. Her husband smothered their child in their sleep, a newborn. The husband wasn't necessarily the deepest sleeper, but somehow the baby got in-between the parents and the dad rolled over it. Saddest memorial/funeral I've ever been to in my life. So just take the time to make sure she's up and above everyone in bed, no huge blankets, and you either have a good grasp of her (as I did, on your arm) or one of those nifty bed thingies that keeps her little area open to the air.
I'd never throw that story in if I didn't know about it first hand, and now it scares the **** out of me, maybe even to where I wouldn't co-sleep with my baby if I had one now. But you're a smart woman. You'll take the steps.
One mighty sweet girl you have there. :)
Posted by: christine | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 01:25 AM
Even though we *planned* to co-sleep, I was wary at the beginning - she was so wee! what if I rolled over on her/bumped her roughly/breathed on her wrong?? So she mostly slept in the bassinet or this Snuggle Nest thing (goes in the bed but has firm foam sides to prevent the rollover) for the first few weeks. And then we started co-sleeping "for real"...my husband started sleeping on the couch because the two of us disturbed his sleep. This went on for a long time, but I love co-sleeping and frankly didn't miss my husband a bit!! Regarding baby books, the Sears one is good - there is one by Elizabeth Pantley (Gentle Baby Care) that I have heard good things about, and isn't there a good one by Penelope Leach? Anyhoo. Regarding the latch, my daughter also would not latch onto my somewhat flat/inverted nipples so we used a nipple shield, you can get them at Target, Medela brand. After about 3 weeks w/ the shield we were totally weaned off and she is still BF at 13 months. I was so glad for the nipple shield!! So maybe it might be worth a try, I dunno. You guys sound like you're doing awesome...at our 2-week ped appointment I just nodded and smiled at whatever the ped said b/c I knew we were going to find a new ped. It is pretty important to have someone you like. Our great ped is leaving the practice we go to and so, consequently, are we!
Posted by: Elizabeth | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 01:40 AM
One benefit of the Sears book is it has a chapter on sleeping arrangements and has good tips on safe co-sleeping as well as sleep issues etc., but I think his website also has some of the same advice - I used to go to his site all the time, it has a big index of baby "issues". www.askdrsears.com
Posted by: Elizabeth | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 01:42 AM
D'oh. Third post, I know. But I totally forgot to tell you about a fantastic book written by a mom and neuroscientist..."What's Going on In There?" by Lise Eliot. Tells you all about how Tori's little brain develops from the womb to age 5. Fascinating and not dumbed-down. I also like www.zerotothree.net (.com?) for development stuff. I love reading this kind of thing; if you want more suggestions let me know! ;)
Posted by: Elizabeth | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 01:51 AM
reiterating everyone else here, i'd get a new pediatrician...as for the cosleeping, that is what i plan to do with my baby but i'm using a cosleeper b/c i'm a very deep sleeper and i already kick my husband in bed without knowing it. so i decided to get a cosleeper (Arm's Reach) that attaches to my side of the bed that would enable me to nurse the baby and have it sleep with me without the fear of my rolling over her. (mention of the Arm's Reach cosleeper is also in Sears Baby Book)
Posted by: michelle | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 03:23 AM
Get that baby in a bubble immediately woman! What the hell do you think you're doing taking her outside - that fresh air could really hurt her! LOL! Oh, boy... Since we don't vax, I let Bekah get all germy (within reason of course) and try everything out (okay, nothing growing in petri dishes....yet). I totally agree - I think that's how we get our immunity to a lot of things.
One thing on co-sleeping: I used to put Bekah on top of me when she was itty bitty and one night she rolled off onto the floor between the bed and her bassinet. No harm, no foul but it pissed me off that I had rolled over and let her fall on the floor! So make sure Miss Tori is between the two of you. Or if you're in the bed with her alone, put a firm pillow on the other side lengthwise so she's between you and it.
Okay, I'll quit giving assvice now and telling all the world how I've fucked up my kid... :-)
Jenn
Posted by: Jenn in AK | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 03:32 AM
Keep on doing what you're doing... My first ped for my daughter was amazing... we moved, sadly. She said that a mom knows best what's best for her child so.. listen to yourself first.
Posted by: SusanK | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 07:08 AM
It's been a while since I've read your blog, and I'm so glad that I came back. Such good news! I'm really happy for you and your family. Congratulations!
Posted by: surcie | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 07:34 AM
How can you have a summer baby and not go outside??? That is insane.
Follow your heart ;)
Posted by: Karen | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 09:10 AM
I co-slept with both of mine and one thing I did not see mentioned was to check the space between your mattress and headboard. Our is pretty big (my arm can fit) and my son almost slipped thru it on night so we stuffed a pillow there so now there is no space.
My son slept between us and I kept my knees up so my DH would hit my knees first and not my son.
Did not sleep that well with DS so for DD we got the bed rail that sits on the mattress and she is next to the bedrail and I am next to DH.
I also kept both kids bottom in line with my face to be sure that the blanket would not cover them. They both liked to bury their heads under the pillow. I would wake up, move them and they would be right back there again.
Also, a bit of assvice from a mom with a vaccine damaged son, Read Stephanie Cave's book "What your doctor may NOT tell you about Children's Vaccinations". Cecily, if you would like, email me and ask me about my son.
I now find it pretty ironic how my then Ped commented to me about co sleeping and minutes later injected my son with a known neurotoxin that was in his on schedule vaccine. I also knew tons about IVF and charting and how to get pregnant but thought I could just be "like everyone else" when I actually had the baby. No, you need to be an expert on that too.
My first post since you had little Tori and I just have to say that she is beautiful. I am so happy for you. Enjoy!
Posted by: Gina | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 09:45 AM
Darn, you should have told me you drew the line at monkeys.
Posted by: Menita | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 10:14 AM
Cecily, I pretty much never cracked open a baby book unless my babies came down with some crazy medical symptom I needed to look up to make sure they didn't have Rabies. (They didn't.) And guess what? They are now 4 and 7, and they're fine. (Actually, my younger one has a flair for the dramatic, but I'm reasonably certain it has nothing to do with the fact that I marched with her in my son's Halloween parade when she was 2 weeks old.)
The fact that you and Charlie are so relaxed, particularly after all you've experienced, is probably the best thing for her health. Tori is going to have such a fun life (which, by the way, is also great for her health).
Posted by: Susie | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:18 AM
Re: germs and washing hands...
I think you'll feel different after Tori's first cold when she is so congested she's not sleeping at night, and miserable all day. I know you can't prevent kids from getting sick, but until you've had a sick child at home, you really don't know the hassle of it all. Just a little tip.
Posted by: Kristin | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Our ped told us not to cosleep too, but in that "well, we're supposed to say this, but really, don't worry about it" tone. So I didn't, and it made it possible to breastfeed and also not die of sleep deprivation. I've never heard the outside thing but of COURSE you have to show her off, and the Bugaboo. Newborn admiration is one of the absolute best parts about having a baby! For the next 6 months you are rocks tars.
Posted by: Bluestocking | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 01:24 PM
According to a Duke University study just released, rats and mice that live in sewers have healthier immune systems than those raised in sanitized lab environments, leading them to believe that an overly santized society will become more susceptible to common viruses. Also just released, co-sleeping is okay. I don't suggest dunking Tori in a sewer, but exposure to the outside world is a fine thing and is good for the immune system. My only point of contention is that if you take her to Wally World (or some other shopping place) is to take antibacterial wipes and wipe the part that you push. You never know if the last kid in the cart had snot all over it or someone is carrying the RSV, unknowingly. I had a tendency to push the cart and be sticking my hands on her head or binkie in mouth and that's just not probably wise without prior sanitation. Worse than the nurse thing, definately. Sounds like you got a good grip on the sit-ee-ation tho and congratulations, mine is 8 months old, with a lapse of 15 years from my last. LOL BTW I am one of Ranter's friends.
Posted by: Tracey | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 02:10 PM
I agree with everyone who recommended pedi shopping.
We lucked out with ours. My girl was induced early, so we hadn't picked a DR yet. We ended up with the one on call at the hosp. She is AWESOME. Doesn't preach, listens to what I say, and most importantly, tells me I'm doing a great job!
As for the germ stuff. I'm lax on the hand washing, who knows what my kids came into contact with that first year. Of course, after potty breaks, but other than that...whatever. I let them crawl on the ground OUTSIDE (gasp) and even at the DRs office, which freaks my hubs out for some reason. Now my eldest is 2.5 yrs old and has had one cold, her little sis is 1 yr old and has never been sick in her life. Their cousin who is 3 has had every cold ever discovered and more bouts of the flu than I've ever seen. And her mom is a Germaphob. Anit-bacterial everything. She even has one of those cart covers for the grocery store. Maybe my kids are lucky and very healthy, but I like to think all of that dirt has helped pump their immune systems.
I seriously think all of this anit-bacterial soap and whatnot are weakening our poor kids immune systems. I have no proof, it's just a suspicion of mine.
Okay, I've rambled long enough.
Posted by: christina | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 02:33 PM
HEY! I hadn't checked in a bit and A BABY! Congratulations and she's so beautiful! I'm so happy for all three of you!
Posted by: VHMPrincess | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 03:09 PM
I bought all the books, but I used the What To Expect The First Year Book. It was the one I referred to a lot.
I bet your stomach feels a lot better with the staples out! I hate those things.
Posted by: Melissa P. | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 03:31 PM
God did I love co-sleeping (me, who usually hates anyone or anything bothering me in my precious bed), and I got so much shit for it. My mother lectured me constantly and sent me every article ever published against it, and my husband watched me like a hawk and occasionally got on my case about it -- but I persisted and just loved loved loved cuddling up with my babies. So, yeah, just smile and nod.... Oh, and watch out for most baby books -- they're everyone's assvice condensed and authorized by some schmuck(s) with a PhD and will rarely make you feel better about anything you do. Now I use them to look up symptoms and medical suggestions, period. Cuz, you know, we're SMRT NUFF to take good care of our kids.
Posted by: Anna | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 06:10 PM
The Wonder Weeks, Baby 411, and What to Expect the First Year are all good books. Some parts of Baby 411 need to be taken with a bit of salt, but it has great info about how much a kid should be sleeping/eating/pooping as they grow.
Please get a new ped. The ped I had to deal with in the hospital was a total tool. I couldn't wait to walk out of the hospital and never have to deal with him again. We skip the whole ped scene and went with our family practice Doc who has been seeing my husband for years and me right before I got pregnant. I love our Doc. He has been very supportive about breastfeeding, knows us as a family, and is a pleasure to deal with. Added bonus: the waiting room isn't filled with pissed off sick kids.
I took the L (chicago's public rail) with the baby when she was 4 days old to get my staples out, and then 3 days later for her first well baby visit. I'd keep her from licking the floor, or letting a 2 year old touch her face for the first few weeks, but other than that, take her out now while she is fun and portable.
Posted by: shechemist | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 06:24 PM
Ringing in to say, as always, do what feels right for you and your family! Our Boy arrived in December, and I remember having sort of the opposite reaction to what you're having: if one more well-meaning person told me "babies are so portable!" and "he has to learn to go places," I was going to knock heads together. Let THEM sit in the back seat with my sobbing child who hadn't yet realized that the car seat wasn't an instrument of torture (he loves it now). Let THEM try to nurse in public with killer sore boob. Does he really need to learn to go places at one month old if he's so obviously distressed? If it's that hard on him, maybe I don't need to be doing it right now. (He's fine now, BTW, loves to nap in the car, but still isn't good at nursing in public: too many distractions.)
For your own sanity, get out of the house if you need to - but by the same token, don't let anybody push you into doing anything before you feel ready to do it!
And a tidbit: we found that part of the reason the Boy hated the car seat at first was simply that his winter car seat cover was rubbing his face and blocking his vision. (This came as a shock to us - the hating the car seat thing - because when we took him home, he was the most placid little baby primate you ever saw, looking all around with these big old-soul eyes. Little did we know he was just waiting....) As soon as we dressed him differently, we had instant improvement. (Not perfect, but MUCH better.) Don't be alarmed if Tori doesn't take to the car or the carrier or the stroller right away! It might be an easy fix, or she might just get the hang of it with time. =)
Welcome home again! Coincidentally, I lived in West (Anonymous Habitat, although I think you do mention where it is?) for a while, while I was a grad student; I hope it's not to hot!
Posted by: Kristin | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 07:58 PM
I ditto the get a new ped advice and recommend Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child as a good book for sign posts on developmental stages up to age 5.
Biggest advice? Do what feels right to you and Tori. If Tori's happy, you'll be happy and generally vice versa.
Posted by: liz | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Slept with baby (still sleep with kids for a good part of the night a good many nights, though would prefer not to). Took baby out the first day home and every day thereafter (took second baby born at the end of December out pretty much every day too--in fleece, in sling, with blanket over face). Never washed hands. Both children still alive, in fact, thriving.
Posted by: Becca | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 08:55 PM
Poop on the dummy scare-tactics nurse practitioner! Presumably you like your ped. better?
Three cheers for germs (except monkeys), co-sleeping (as long as it works for you), and frequent outtings (unless you'd rather stay home).
For milestones, I find most of the books/websites with "standard" milestones are more likely to be alarming than helpful. Better to ask ... is she growing and changing? Doing more now, than several weeks ago? Engaging with the world? Knowing that "baby should" do X with their head at 3.2465 months is anxiety-provoking. Of course, caveat to say ... missing milestones by "a lot" (months and months) is worth noticing. (My first still wasn't talking *at all* at 18 months, which was late enough to be important and need help -- he's doing fine now, though still struggles with pronounciation and learning new words.)
The "What to fuck up in the first year" books are really good for checklists of symptoms though ... :)
Posted by: Rachel | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 10:09 PM
Fresh air and walks = good. Co-sleeping = good. Do what you feel is best,there's nothing better than using your own instinct.
Posted by: northerngurl | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 10:12 PM
So that's what I get for not checking back for since like, June 5th? Good grief! So glad little Tori is here safe and sound. I'm guessing she's going to be dramatic, if her entrance to the world is anything to go by.
You do realize, of course, that you will have to watch the season opener of ER next fall. After all, Abby is rumored to have collapsed with a placental abruption.
sorry for all of the typos/misspellings.
Posted by: Sunny | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 10:14 PM
One word of advice...umm, withhold info from the peds on things that are a matter of opinion. When they questions "Does Baby have her own room?" Answer should be "Why Yes". No need to say "but she never ever ever has slept in it".
My son was 5 days old the first time I took him grocery shopping. Withhold that little tidbit. We had no food in the house. How was I too feed baby if I could not feed myself. Of course I got LOTS of stares and the question of an octegenarian as to whether "We baptized him yet". Because, you know, all babies are christian and shouldn't leave the house till the sin is absolved from them.
Seriously, you'll figure it all out. And unless it is a health issue, avoid any topic that will bring on unsolicited advice from your peds. It has taken me 2 kids and countless hours of questioning why a fucked up person like me should have been graced with two children when it is pretty obvious I suck at raising them for me to relaize this.
You rock. BTW, I saw a BugaBoo like yours at a fair today. I pointed it out to my husband as s stroller that costs as much as our mortgage payment. He was appalled. His response "Well, they obviously have money to burn". So, guess what people probably think of you and Charlie walking by with Tori? Probably for the first time ever, people are assuming you are wealthy or royalty (Which Princess Victoria Anne Sarah already is with her Windsor like name!)
Posted by: suzanne | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:42 PM
Um yeah, (without reading any of the other comments)every single Pediatrician will tell you something different. My first son weighed 20 lbs at about 15 weeks and the pediatrician i had then said: PUT HIM ON A DIET!!! Whatever. I've co-slept with both my sons with no problem and i really don't see rolling over as an issue...so, YOU are the mother. You go with your own judgments. Aside from like the basic stuff like, don't go feeding her honey and stuff yet you know?
Posted by: Nina | Saturday, June 17, 2006 at 11:48 PM
Yay!! Hammer + Tori = tru lov 4 evr!!! Seriously, I'm glad all your babies are happy together now.
Posted by: victoria | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 12:28 AM
Yay!! Hammer + Tori = tru lov 4 evr!!! Seriously, I'm glad all your babies are happy together now.
Posted by: victoria | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 12:28 AM
So, I'd have to agree with you on the warm water and soap vs. antibacterial everything (where warm means as hot as you can stand it). Think about it this way:
When you're put on antibiotics for a minor bacterial infection, its always for a week to 10 days, even though the majority of the bacteria are killed within 2 to 3 days. If you don't take the full course of antibiotics, you risk not killing all those bacteria and are left with an antibiotic-resistant strain. Blah, de blah.
So if you use an antibacterial soap that kills, say 99% of bacteria, what about that 1% left? Wouldn't it become stronger because you haven't killed it off in the first place and be more resistant?
Just a thought. Far better to wash it down the drain IMHO.
Good job on Hammer taking to Tori. Wouldn't worry about the cats :)
Posted by: Nicole | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 12:37 AM
Just enjoying Baby Tori on Sarah's site. What a doll and so much hair! Great pictures who ever is taking them :) Capture those early days Cecily, they grow so darn fast!!
I am SO happy for you all. Tori could have not found a more loving and welcoming home had she had to choose! So thankful you have your little baby daughter Cecily. Your road has been hard.
Posted by: maia | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 01:42 AM
I've lurked for eons, always wanted to comment but realized that at #326, you'd already heard it all. I think I have something a little different to say here...
I'd buy all those books, but then find a great mom and baby or family and baby developmental class. I haven't read a book since Cole was born, and I had a lot of guilt staring at Dr Sears every day, wondering what I was missing inside the huge purple cover. Even if the class is kind of silly, I learned how to encourage tummy time, how to get him in a sling, etc, and just being in the room with other moms of 4 week olds made for an instant walking group. They pushed us to get out of the house (so I agree with the find a new pedi advice), pick good toys, infant massage... It was great for me to be in a room with a bunch of other women breastfeeding (or trying to), changing diapers, sharing soothing strategies. I couldn't have done it alone!
Posted by: meghan | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 07:52 AM
Much of the rise against co-sleeping came from falsely reported cases of infants being accindentally rolled over on top of and smotheres...when the reality was that desperately poor parents smothered them out in economic dire straits. I'm talking 17th and 18th centuries here,and the Catholic Church stepped in and made co-sleeping evil and immoral and here we are today. This is the main reason we in the western world are so afraid of it, and in many other countries/continesnts; Asia, Africa, India, etc. there is no fear or restrictions/taboos at all. You must always do what feels right to you. And get a new dr. Not take a baby outside? Where did she get her nursing degree? Dr Sears book excellent for not just co-sleeping and BF advice but solid medical advice about everything. So so happy for you and Charlie and Tori too. p.s. Want to see Bugaboo!!!!
Posted by: leigh | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 09:20 AM
We didn't co sleep cos I was too worried about SIDS and wouldn't be able to sleep properly with the babe right there. We had a video monitor and an alarm in the bed too. I'm not recommending it for you but just to say it has worked out OK for us and he hasn't turned out insecure because he wasn't by my side every minute of the day. He experiences lots of love when he is awake, is never left crying in his cot and we all get a good sleep. There's more than one way of doing things and it can all turn out all right in the end. In the end you have to do what you think is best for you and the babe.
Posted by: Kim | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 09:30 AM
ahahah I remember the cat thing. My cats would stare at me and look like they were saying "What the fuck did you bring home?!"
Now they play with her. It's kinda cute actually.
Posted by: Stacey | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 10:04 AM
AH - just the beginning of all kinds of advice from professionals, non professionals, family, and complete strangers. Get used to smiling and nodding.
On the way home from the hospital after discharge we took vincent to target to pick up a few things; when he was three weeks old he went to a hugely attended extended family funeral where he was passed around to scores of people. M-I-L had a complete heart attack, but i was happy for the break! Finally, I confess whenever the binky fell on the floor, I checked it for dirt and put it back in his mouth
colleen
Posted by: colleen litwinowicz | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 10:28 AM
Find a pediatrician who shares your views of the world, and you will be happier. I loved my ped in NYC when we lived there. I remember asking him in the hospital when we could take our son outside. He said "on your way home from the hospital, it is good for him." I loved him. Why the fuck shouldn't you take a baby out in JUNE?? I had my son in a restaurant when he was a week old. My ped was even fine with me taking my preemie girls who were born in the dead of winter out as long as they were dressed properly. He is British. Maybe they are less uptight than Americans.
As for germs, I think the reason people get sick all the time is that their bodies are so shocked to be exposed to a germ that they don't know what to do. Some of my friend would be horrified at how little I worry about germs. I touch things in bathrooms, on the subway, etc. And I've raised my kids the same way.
On the latching, you could try nipple shields. They are not very fun, but they can help with a reluctant latcher. The other thing I was advised to do with my son, and it worked great, was pump for a few minutes just before I tried to get him to latch. It would draw the nipple out, and bring the milk down so that he got milk right away and didn't get frustrated, and would have a bigger nipple to latch on.
On parenting in general -- trust your own instincts, for the most part. You'll do absolutely fine. Babycenter.com has a lot of good general advice. And ask here, but be forewarned that you will get passionately divergent opinions on some topics.
Posted by: j | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 10:59 AM
I liked The Baby Book (Sears) for ideas on what to do with baby. I liked What to Expect for the milestones. I LOVE What's Going on In There for the indepth developmental information. I got great information from Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and book. The swooshing and the swinging and the swaddling? Aces. I wish I had had the Wonder Weeks. . . didn't know about it until close to 1 year old.
I'm surprised the women in the office didn't rush to wash their own hands. WHen I took Henry to work or school in the early days there would be a line at the sink and I didn't even say Boo about it.
Posted by: Rayne of Terror | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 03:48 PM
Lily slept with us from zero until almost 5.
There are worse things, you know.
Posted by: sputnik | Sunday, June 18, 2006 at 04:48 PM
As long as neither of you is an incredibly deep sleeper, I say you're set for cosleeping. My husband sleeps like the dead (he accidentally socked me in the face last night, as a matter of fact, while turning over, and has no recollection of it this morning), so I slept with my kids in big beds in their rooms. I loved it and I wouldn't change that time for anything.
I think this site has fascinating material on bedsharing/cosleeping/whatever, especially where it talks about McKenna's research into how moms and babies become coordinated in their breathing. This has been one of my favorite sites:
http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mckenna/
Posted by: Heels | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 09:29 AM
My friends and I joke that every time we go to the pediatrician we come home feeling like the worst parent in the world.
You are feeding them the wrong food. You are not dressing them properly. They don't have enough lotion on, too much lotion, wrong kind of lotion, etc. You're not bathing them often enough, too often or using the wrong soap. They accidentally grab your keys to chew on and you get a lecture about it cutting their gums. This actually happened to me and the nurse goes "um, we really don't want to use those for teething now do we?" and took them out of her mouth. I wasn't going to let her do it - it just sort of happened. Again - worst mother award goes to....
I think they (the docs/nurses, not the babies) do it on purpose just to make you feel like shit, I swear.
Posted by: JL | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 11:39 AM
I'm w/ suzanne...listen, smile, nod...and ignore the assvice you get from the docs & their nurses. I don't know that I'd switch to another ped, though, unless they were truly unbearable and/or cross the line to insulting/rude. You're going to get a lot of the same stuff at other docs, unless you switch to one of those co-sleeping, extended nursing, no-vax-OK folks, and chances are that he/she will be too far away, or it will take for-fucking-ever to get an appointment with, or some other downside.
You guys got plenty of common sense and backbone, you'll do fine with just about any doc. :-)
Posted by: Christine | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 01:36 PM
I found nursing with big boobs difficult when my daughter was first born. She was really tiny- just right at 6 lbs. There was just too much boob in her face when I tried to nurse her. The only way it worked was lying on my side. That was more comfortable for my c-section incision too. I imagine you've already tried it every way but standing on your head by now though.
I'm fat and co-slept with both my kids and both remain alive and unsmooshed! We're pretty dirty too. At least by today's standards. I don't use anything but all natural ceaning products. No bleach or Pine-Sol and none of that anti-bacterial stuff. The dogs sleep with us. There are some cats and a free roaming rabbit around the house too. I like to believe my children are free of environmental allergies because of the farm-like atmosphere inside my house (I've heard farm kids don't get allergies).
Posted by: ivy | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 04:12 PM
Can't even begin to describe how relieved I felt upon reading that you're not taking the ped's advice to not sleep with the baby. Good for you! And I know a million and a half people have probably already said this, but Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book" is the best I've seen for developmental/milestones information. Found it to be really, really helpful as a first-time mom, and can't wait to use it again this time around.
Posted by: Rebekah | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 07:14 PM
This: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html
is a great little article on some of the benefits of cosleeping.
I've coslept with three of my four children, and had wonderful results. And almost every breastfeeding expert will tell you that it helps the breastfeeding relationship.
My African co-workers don't understand why we put babies by themselves in cribs. And while about 50 babies die each year from co-sleeping (and pretty much each death can be attributed to unsafe circumstances like drunken parents) many more babies die all by themselves in cribs.
Those kinds of comments get under my skin! If you don't want to sleep with your kid, more power to you, but there's nothing wrong with you if you do. And, I'm sorry, but I waited all my life to have these kids, and I want them as close as possible!
Posted by: Anne | Monday, June 19, 2006 at 11:47 PM
I gave birth at home, so for my last one, Rich took all of the kids, including a 7 hour old newbie to eat so that i could rest. I am happy to say he is alive and thriving well. With all these children that live in my house, guests and kids picked up the baby a million times (hey, I like the break!) and all my babies survived and...are thriving well. I co slept with all of them, my 4 & 2 yr old are *still* co sleeping, and I have never rolled over on them..and, you guessed it are alive and thriving well.
Follow your gut, you are doing great.
Posted by: Seegal | Tuesday, June 20, 2006 at 06:17 AM