Get the Metal Out

Today was our busiest day post baby.

At 8:30am (a time at which I was shockingly awake) we had our last (SOB!) appointment with Dr. Mama. He took out my staples and said the incision looks good; it probably was infected but we caught it in time. I cannot believe how much better the incision feels without all that metal in it. So glad that is done.

He said if I'm feeling alright I can skip the six-week post birth appointment, which I'm sure I'll do. There is only one doctor left at that practice I can stand, so I'd rather not return there if possible.

After that appointment, we stopped by my job to show Tori off. Because my shop is so isolated from everyone, I often feel like I have no colleagues at my job (other than the lovely students that work for me, who are all young enough to be my kids if I'd started having them when I was 18). But, apparently, by showing up with a baby, suddenly I have TONS of co-workers. Tori must have been passed around to twenty different women. It was adorable.

We came home, got a quick nap, and then it was off to her first pediatrician appointment.

One thing I've come to realize in this last, oh, nine days or so, is that I can tell you a ton about how to get pregnant. I can regale you with all kinds of infertility facts, pregnancy facts, how-to-track-your-cycle facts, but I know FUCK ALL about babies. I don't know anything about development milestones. I have a serious lack of baby books in the house (I have a couple different parenting books, but nothing about baby development). So I was looking forward to the appointment to give me some guidance.

The only things we learned are that we shouldn't be sleeping with the baby (cause we'll roll over and kill her) , that we shouldn't take her outside for walks (um, took her for a walk the first day we were home--I mean, dudes, we have a BUGABOO to show off here! Not to mention one damn fine looking baby), and that we shouldn't allow people to hold her that haven't washed their hands (like, say, an office full of women).

So, so far so good. Right?

I am not germ phobic, or even particularly germ aware. I do not believe in antibacterial anything. I believe washing things in warm water and soap is sufficient. I would rather the nurse on our last day in the hospital hadn't coughed directly on the Tori, but I imagine she'll survive. If someone has just gone to the bathroom, sneezed in their palms, or been petting infected monkeys I guess I'd like them to wash their hands before they hold Tori. But otherwise I just don't worry about it.  So I just smiled and nodded while the nurse-practitioner gave us the germ lecture.

As far as co-sleeping, oh for fuck's sake. Something like half the world practices co-sleeping. Places like China and India in particular where they are CLEARLY having a population problem because of all the crushed babies. WHATever. More smiling and nodding.

The walking outside thing? Well, that she said wasn't a big deal. Not compared to the other issues.

Heh.

Things are going well here. Still getting three hour stretches of sleep. Pumping more often, getting a little more milk. Tori is still refusing to latch, but we keep trying. Oh, and Hammer finally decided to adopt Tori--yesterday was the first time he came over to sniff her and wagged his tail at her. The cats, however, continue to be utterly horrified.

Lastly, I think I have my Tanya's confused. So if you were the Tanya that sent the adorable Gymboree stuff, those photos were for you, even if you don't live in Japan. Sorry about that!

Have a great weekend, folks. It's gonna be hot here... it might be time for a germ-filled, dirty-hands-holding-the-baby, dangerously outdoor picnic. With a co-sleeping nap, of course.

Comments

[Leah]

I'm so proud of you for smiling and nodding. :)

We co-sleep, too - and for breastfeeding it totally rocks. Chloe didn't latch on until she was almost 3 months old and then nursed like a pro until 2 weeks before her 1st birthday when she decided she was weaned. :)

Keep on doing what you are doing and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

HUGS to the Tori-girl.

[Anna H.]

Um, Cecily, have you thought about shopping around for pediatricians? Maybe looking for someone who's manner and beliefs work well with your own? You will be spending an awful lot of time with your pediatrician and even more time with your pediatrician's staff, so it's important to like each other and relate. Try to imagine the length, complexity and dependence of your relationship with Dr. Mama times 10.

[Elena]

This baby sleeping in its own bed in another room is purely a 20-th century American thing. You're fine. It's better for breastfeeding too!

The germ thing - if the baby gets a fever before I think 6 or 8 weeks of age (I can't remember which and it might be less for a preemie) it can be a big deal in that they will admit her and do a spinal tap. I didn't know that until it happened to my 3rd. And it seemed like it was pretty standard too. I'd just be a little careful of that because sleeping on a hospital cot while your baby is in there is the pits!

[anglophilia]

A topic for your next dinner party: one of the major causes of infant death in the Middle Ages was smothering due to co-sleeping. Toddlers: falling into wells. The 5-8 range for boys: falling off of haystacks. 5-8 girls: scalding while helping their mothers cook. And yet... western civilization survived!!

I could never co-sleep with mine as babies because I felt I was a good candidate for the roll-over... can't tell you how many times the cat was kicked completely off the bed before I awoke and realized I'd been kicking the cat. But they sleep with me all the time now.

Do what's right for you. And I second the suggestion that you find a pediatrician who supports your parenting philosophy. Germs or no, you will spend a LOT of time at that office.

[Heather]

I wasn't told the outside for walks thing, or about cosleeping by our pediatrician...

Hmm.

He did say not to take her out in public for 8 weeks, which I summarily dismissed. Uh, I am at home with 2 kids. Though I do Peapod, occasionally I have to go to the store, pharmacy, or bank to do something.

I notice they had little problem making us come to their office 4 times in the first 2 weeks (Lindsay lost about 15% of her weight initially...we also had an ER visit) which has to be the WORST place to be if you don't want to come down with some horrible, awful thing spawned by a germy child.

You're Tori's mom so you're already the expert on how to take care of Tori. :)

[mijk]

Yeah for confident parenting and go get a nice pedaetrician. These visits are so much more fun if you get reassurance and an opportunity to bragg..

[Whitney]

I agree on shopping around for pediatricians--you aren't obligated to see whoever saw her in the hospital. Find one you're comfortable with, and Dr. Mama could probably recommend one!

Sounds like everything is going pretty good for someone who knows nothing about babies :)

[Stephanie]

It's a little scary when you've spent all this time trying to to pregnant and then one day, there's a baby!

I have the Dr. Sears Baby Book and I love it. It was really great the first six months. Oh, and good for you for not being intimidated by the nurse. (NOt that you seem like you intimidate easily. Quite the opposite, I'd guess.) Anyway, you are Tori's parents and you really do know what's best for her.

[Kier]

I second (or third, fourth, whatever) the "get a new ped" thing. We just switched ours after our 6 month visit, when the young, snobby doctor not only said that I was spoiling her by nursing her to sleep, but also made fun of me for crying at my daughter's vaccinations. To my face. With a seriously cold, mean sneer in her voice. And no, I did NOT overract just because I'm a first time Mommy. *hehe* Anyway, do a switcheroo until you feel comfy with voicing your opinions and accepted by the ped.

Can't wait for the next bunch of pics!

[Sharon]

We co-sleep as well and love it. My reasoning is the baby starts out in such a confined and secure place and it seems lonely to be put in a place to sleep all by his/herself. Growing up I shared a bed with my sister and as adults we grow up and sleep with someone. It just seems more cozy and more safe. Anyway, I am a light sleeper now that we have a baby so I pretty much know where he is in the bed at all times and when I wake up to check if the baby is breathing/still alive I do not have to look far.

As for germs, well I am particular because you just never know especially with a baby that is so new to this big 'ol world.

We have cats also and it seems as if they think, "Hmmm, it is small like us, but it looks like them." Now that our baby is walking he love to chase them and giggle.

Walking should be fine. WTH! It is good exercise and fun for the whole family.

Tori is precious. Best wishes to your new family.

[purrrkat]

Have you considered getting a co-sleeper for your bed? This would allow for snuggle time just before sleeping and then you can just scoot her over.

As far as the hand-washing thing, I think that really only applies for the first month or so. You might find, however, that something like a dry handwashing product like Purell hand sanitizer isn't a bad idea, because she gets to eating more over the next several weeks and months you're going to be changing A LOT of diapers. My husband and I found that all the post-poop hand washing took a real toll on our hands, so we switched to hand sanitizer.

[Cathy]

Of Tori's many blessings was the smarts to be born after RSV season had past and most other germs are not the go back to the hospital type...

In Mexico where my oldest was born the docs recommended sunlight (for slight jaundice) but no wind.

Elia got RSV despite our keeping her out of the wind. We always suspected our peds office.

Hallie and Deana got Synergis (the vaccine for RSV) monthly for 7 months for $400/ a month out of pocket. Did not get RSV though.

Your timing is impeccable and Tori is too wonderful for words.

Mazeltov-

[JennyK]

Thank God you're not one of those germaphobic moms! Please, a little grime might actually be good for your kids... ;-)

[Daisy]

Ha! I love that you smiled and nodded, knowing full well you were going to go home and continue your "bad habits." It took me until my second child to be that brave. Well, except that we had a walker aka Baby Death Trap, which I put both children in. (I mean, c'mon, there were no stairs and it wasn't like they were going anywhere on my plush carpet)

Both of my children regularly eat dirt, too ...

[margi]

I'll second the Dr. Sears baby book, and the one about night time parenting...and the one about older kids...and....and...and. But, I love Dr. Sears and wished he could have been my kid's pedi.

[Meira]

Yeah, the pediatrician doesn't sound too great. Good for you on the smiling & nodding. If you want books, I got 'em.

[anam]

hehehe - fays co-sleeps (we did finally get a slide bed cosleeper btut hats cos we have a uk double bed) and was sling worn (until she was about 14 months and too heavy for me) and was out in public about 2 days after she was born and travelled over 2,000 miles before she was 6 weeks old.

ignore all doctors etc unless they are about to operate on your child is what i have learnt. the only book i go back to is the 'baby whisperer' and it works for us.

own cots & rooms and prams were all brought in by the victorians and then exported to the USA as the fashionable thing to do...

enjoy parenthood - it will teach you everything you ever knew.

[Kris]

I won't offer unsolicited advice unless asked...LOL..because I hate that (no offense to the above commenters intended). My personal take on things was f*%k the books, and f*%k what the pediatrician/midwife/LaLeche crazy woman/every other person with an opinion says. I did what felt right for my husband and I, if we felt seriously lacking in some department I might have looked up a thing or two on the internet, in a book or asked a few close friends who I knew wouldn't keep me on the phone for hours telling me horror stories about their birth story...hehe. I have two boys and well, neither of them have died yet. *wink* HUGZ to you all, you sound like you are doing a fantastic job!!!!!

K.

[Kerry]

I used to put my kids in my bed for middle of the night feedings, only to wake up at some odd and bright hour of the morning to realize that we both slept a hell of a lot better together! Currently hubs and I sleep with a 5 pound wiggle worm of a dog and haven't managed to do any damage to her in her nearly 9 years of life (although a few weeks back hubs "accidentally" kicked her right off the bed...OOPS!) so I think this baby will be fine in our bed too. As long as the dog doesn't object, ya know! LOL

[Jaycie]

It can be a bit cheesy, but I liked the "What to expect the first year" book...looks like the "what to expect when you're expecting" one. The part I liked is a monthly list of what may occur in the various developmental areas--just have to keep in mind that your kid will likely be a little advanced in some areas, a little behind in others, and right on the money in most. I wouldn't consider it child development bible or anything, just an easy reference to check and say "aaah, so that's what that is" or "oh, she IS supposed to be doing that now" or "OMG! We have the most brilliant child ever; she's not supposed to do that for two more months!"
High five on the smiling and nodding. I'm impressed...lol. More pictures please!

[Gina]

From now till Tori is grown with her own kids, you'll be getting so much assvice and most of it will be contradictory.

We co-slept for a while with Felix. He was 4 pounds 7 ounces when we brought him home and I could not understand why anyone would tell me to leave him in a 'box' someplace other then where I was. I had to have him right by me.

He eventually got too 'wiggly' and we both slept better with him in his crib right next to my bed. He eventually moved to his own right last November when we moved here to Hawaii and his room was right next to ours.

He'll be 2 next month and I have never had a problem getting a full nights sleep.

As for books, I skipped them and went straight to my Mom. The books scared me, Mom doesn't :)

[Abby]

All that I can recommend is that you remove all the needles, guns and knives from your bed before you co-sleep.

Jesus, people. It's a bed, not a busy interstate. If you know all the common-sense rules (no fluffy comforters, no extra pillows, no intoxicated parents), co-sleeping is heaven. Oh, just wait. When Tori latches properly, and you're able to nurse her in bed without dragging your sleepy self from bed? No amount of lecturing from a pediatrician will coax you to move her out of your bed. You might even (gasp) change her wet diaper in your bed and go back to sleep instead of washing your hands.

Glad to hear that her first ped appointment, and your staples removal, went well. You made it. :)

[melissa]

We took our daughter (two weeks old at the time) to a Chicago White Sox Game. oops!

We co-slept--both of us are light sleepers, but we did buy a co-sleeper mini to put her in so we could get a little more rest.

[Elizabeth]

God, I felt so much better after my staples were out!

Seriously, get another ped. I kept feeling silly for wanting to change, since there wasn't anything wrong with mine. We just didn't click. Well, I finally switched, and I can't believe the difference it made. I wish I had done it sooner.

As a parent, you have a lot of times where you think "If I knew than what I know now, I would to ______ differently". Well, one thing I'll never regret is co-sleeping. It just just felt right. You will know what is right for your family.

[Jo-Ann]

Time to pediatician shop! If you were still over here I'd reccomend mine......3 women Pediatricans with 9 kids between them......never blink and eye at co-sleeping and really give a shit about kids......

I hope you can find a kindred spirit Pediatrician!

Jo-Ann