Bad Cranky Mom

Here is why I'm a terrible mother, reason #33:

Last night when I got home from work and other things,* I finally ate dinner, got changed, and got ready to watch some television. Tori usually just nurses and dozes after 8pm so I was really looking forward to watching some sitcoms and the return of Heroes and Studio 60.

Just as Heroes started, Tori decided that the thing she wanted to do most in the world was lie across Mommy's lap and groan. At top volume. Luckily we have DVR (ghetto Tivo) and I paused the show and patiently waited for the groaning session to end. She wasn't discontent, at all--just enjoying practicing her vocalizations. After about ten minutes I started trying things to distract her; singing, bouncing, tickling**, blowing in her face, groaning with her but louder, everything. Nothing worked; she was relaxed enough to not want to do anything other than groan. After twenty minutes, I finally yelled down the basement stairs to Charlie (where he was on the computer in his office--hey, the basement's finished! I don't chain him to a radiator or anything) and asked him if he had any suggestions about stopping the groaning.

He laughed, and suggested I try hitting CTRL, ALT, and DELETE at the bottom of Tori's feet to see if that would reset her. Helpful guy, my husband.

So I just waited it out. Impatiently. Eventually, she started nursing and I was able to catch up. But I was supremely irritated. That's why I'm a bad mom--here I am, getting yet another precious memory of my amazing daughter, and I'm all like, "just shut up already so Mom can watch her stories."

Sigh. I need chocolate. Fucking diet. Fucking migraines I get from chocolate now.

Hmmm.... PMS?

* Other things was my weightwatcher meeting. I lost one pound. One measly fucking pound. Of course, that makes a total of nearly seven pounds in two weeks. Why am I bummed?

** Just in the last few days has Tori become ticklish. On only her left side. Ah, the laughter...

_____________________________________________

I need some advice. First off, Tori is getting too big for the infant car seat. I am way too lazy to actually do any research about the best baby-to-toddler car seat, so just tell me what to get. You know, I know you do.

Secondly, one of the artists I represent in my shop was sweet enough to bring me a rather extravagant gift certificate to a local (very chi-chi) spa. So, what should I get?

Classic Hot Stone Massage
Raindrop Therapy Massage (involves "aligned" essential oils)
Deep Tissue Massage
Any one of a variety of silly facials
Rejuvenation Peel
or... a combination of small things like an eyebrow wax and a pedicure

I need something that will take the place of chocolate. Heh.

Thanks in advance. And, for your viewing pleasure--new pics of Tori.

Comments

[Peggy Nature]

Weight Watchers would be enough to make me cranky too.

[baggage]

I've in the market for an infant to toddler dealio myself, so no advice but I'm waiting to see what your many readers come up with. :)

[Manogirl]

I feel your WW pain, let me tell you. I hate feeling guilty for eating one cookie at a reception at work today. But grrrr, what can I do? I feel better when I lose a little weight.

On to better things....I've never had a massage, but I have had facials, and they're wonderful. I have large pores, and skin that is oily, and facials make me feel clean and fresh, and keep me feeling that way for days. It's also uber-relaxing, and indulgent in a way that a wax or a pedi isn't.

But I've only heard good things about massages too...so I vote for one big ticket item.

[Sylvie]

We did hot stone massages at a Japanese spa in Santa Fe and it was amazing. D usually hates any type of massage, but was completely into this one. And I found it really relaxing. That's what I'd vote for! If they have a sauna you can escape into afterwards, even better.

[leslie]

I wouldn't go for the deep tissue massage unless you've had them before and like them. I love massage but deep tissue work can be painful!

No sensible advice about carseats - my youngest is 12 so it's been a long time since I bought one.

[kit]

Toddler car seat: Britex Marathon -- have one and love it.

Spa treatment: deep tissue massage. You will feel reborn.

[Amanda]

Convertible car seat: Britax Marathon - seems spendy, but very safe and you shouldn't have to buy another seat until Tori is ready for a booster. The carseat board on Babycenter has a lot of carseat techs on it and are really good at finding the best seat within your budget. There are Marathons on sale at albeebaby.com for $210 including shipping or up to $270 for the really cute fabrics.

Spa - I love facials and find them more relaxing than massage. Mostly because of my screwed up body issues. If it's a good salon, any service will probably be enjoyable.

[abbyhorton01@hotmail.com]

I say deep tissue massage - but you'll probably want another one after that so tread lightly!

Otherwise, I'm always up for a pedi. Always. Pretty toes make me feel very girly, which is good when I'm on cranky diet alert.

Can't help with the car seat. But I'm going to learn from the suggestions you get!

[Genie]

On the carseat thing, I recommend the Britax Roundabout....it's smaller than the Marathon, which is good if your car is not enormous, but still big enough to last until a booster is needed. Theoretically, you can skip the booster with the Marathon, but I've never known a kid that's actually willing to stay in a carseat until six years old. On the spa thing (lucky, lucky you!), I love a hot stone massage. Actually, here's something to think about. A number of years ago when I lost 90 pounds, I made a commitment to get a massage after each 10 pounds lost. It was my way of both rewarding myself and connecting with the new body that I was getting to know. It helped so much with getting through the slow times and was a great way to be self-loving in a dieting process that tends towards self-loathing. Just a thought....
Genie

[Kari]

Axel outgrew his infant seat at 3 months... We got the Britax Boulevard for our car, and the Britax Marathon for my parents' car. They both work up to 65 lbs, and they both are (purported to be) incredibly safe and are certainly comfy-looking. The Boulevard has extra side-impact things and a VERY easy to adjust strap system. However, the side-impact stuff may make it a little tougher for the babies to see out the sides. Axel likes both though. (As in, he'll fall asleep during long rides in either.)

I understand wanting the baby to just nurse quietly... I've been known to turn the volume on the TV way up to drown out the jubilant Exersaucer noises. :) Nursing in front of the TV isn't a great option these days because Axel is quite easily distracted and would rather look at the people on TV than a boob.

As for the spa, lucky you! I personally would try to work a pedicure into the plan.

[Martha]

If you can afford it, Britax Marathon hands down. Easy to use. Great top tether when rear facing. Cushy for the tushy. I LOVE it! It also is one of very few seats that will last Tori till she's ready for a booster. Don't fall for the line about the 3 in 1 seats that turn into boosters. They're horrid!

I can go on and on and I do have some lower price recommendations if you'd like them. But, they aren't as good. I am passionate about carseats and love to research!

[Ruth]

Hot stone massage is very relaxing. Deep tissue massage can be relaxing, but it may also be painful. Facials can be relaxing, but they sometimes do extractions in the middle, which can hurt, and they always try to sell you stuff at the end. I'd go with hot stone.

[Lisa]

I would go for the hot stone massage myself. I got a deep tissue massage last week, but because my back is majorly messed up, I told her to really go for it and my back was actually sore for a few days. Not relaxing, but ultimately beneficial. I think the hot stone massage is the way to go if you're looking for relaxation!

[amy]

1) Britax Roundabout

2) The Wendie Plan for WW plateaus. You can google it or email me for the link. (not that losing a pound is a plateau... but just reading her theory is helpful overall on the WW plan.)

3) Hot stones

[Cat, Galloping]

Consumer Reports ranks the Evenflo Triumph 5 tops for safety, and it's half the price of the Britax's (around $110)

Definitely one of the massages!

[Jenn]

I'm going to go with the Britax Boulevard because of the extera side impact protection. With twins, no one can be in the middle so I think it's worth the extra money.

[joaniepamom]

Go for the deep tissue massage. All the other stuff is marketing hype.

We got the cosco alpha seat because of its high safety rating. The latches are a PITA though. http://www.amazon.com/Cosco-Alpha-Omega-Convertible-Transpire/dp/B000GY5OAQ

[Whitney]

I have 2 Cosco Alpha Omegas and they have been great car seats for us. I don't have any experience with the Britax but I've always heard great things about it.

Always wanted a hot stone massage--that's what I'd go for!

[Heather]

I add my chorus to the Britax Marathon. Absolutely love it and while it is pricey it has great safety ratings both in the US and in Europe (key since they are much more stringent than the US.)

P.S. I remember being supremely irritated at my son for making me miss an ER episode when he was about the same age. Damn kids.

[Diana]

My mom is a massage therapist now and I went to her spa and had a therapist give me a deep tissue massage it was the best thing I have ever had It hurts a tiny bit when they find a knot but it relaxed and relieved tension for at least three days it was excellent.

[Jessica]

Britax Roundabout or Marathon are by far the safest. If you don't have a huge car, go for the Roundabout. If you can fit the Marathon, go for that. I would suggest testing them in the car first with the driver's seat back as far as the tallest driver of your car likes it. When the Marathon is rear-facing it takes up tons of room and my 6' 2" husband couldn't get the seat back far enough to drive and we had to return it for the roundabout. When I tested it (I'm 5'2") it was fine and I didn't think about the difference in seat position. Both of these seats are way more expensive than the competitors, but they are also much safer and this is something that you use every day. I did pretty well with a froogle search for ours. You may be able to buy a 2006 model on sale from an online store and save a bit.

This is my second week of ww too. It sounds like you are doing really well with it! My chocolate substitute is fat free jello chocolate pudding. I like the two point 100 calorie pre-packed version that has some real sugar, but I think the sugar free is only one point.

[Ann]

I've tried the raindrop massage (at the very same chi-chi salon, I suspect), and I was *highly* skeptical of it doing everything they claim it does (Cleanses and purifies your system! Must drink massive amounts water afterwards! Expect mucho impurities to be purged! Whatever...)

Basically, they talked me into it, but I have to say that I really liked the effect. Not so much the new-agey effects it's claimed to have, but the very real, skin-tingling, warm all over loveliness the essential oils imparted. I was tingling all over for hours.

I once had a hot stone massage at a different spa and found it really disappointing, so I'd say go for the raindrop massage. Just take the hype with a grain of salt.

(P.S. I want to apologize for dropping off the face of the comment board after Tori was born. Not that *you* would have noticed, but *I* felt like I was skipping out. On the other hand, I knew that even if you did notice you'd understand, because you said so in one of those posts right after she arrived.)

[Annika]

We got the Alpha Omega. It converts from rear to forward facing and then to a booster for up to 100 pounds. It was a royal pain in the ass to install and we wound up taking it to the fire department to have them check it for safety (I highly recommend this step to ALL parents!) but now that it's in it is great, and it was a lot less than the Marathon (our second choice) at about $175. Consumer Reports actually rates it higher (by a tiny bit only) than the Britax seats.

[Andrea]

I agree on the Marathon. Or, if you don't want to spend quite that much money, you can get the Fisher Price Safe Voyage Deluxe - it is made by Britax and has the same shell as the Marathon - basically a Marathon without all the frills. Also, don't forget that the APA (AAP? can never remember!) recommends rear-facing til the limits of the seat, not just the old 1 year AND 20 lbs rule.

[Katie]

We also have two Cosco (not from CosTco) Alpha Omegas. I have heard that the Britaxes are better, but the Cosco is cheaper.

And most mothers are horrible some days. I whine and complain and moan and whine about how I can't be at home all day with my kids. Then, when I *do* get home, and they ask me to play, I'm all "Not yet! I'm busy! I have to 'check' this real quick!" Then I end up checking blogs, and emails, and news, and the kids never get played with, and I'm a huge hypocrite AND an evil mom.