National Blog For Choice Day

Pro-choice bloggers are speaking out today about the right to choose. I've been thinking about this subject and how my feelings about abortion have changed since I had Tori.

There is no doubt that looking into Tori's face highlights for me exactly what is lost when a pregnancy is terminated. The pangs I feel when I think about my sons Nicholas and Zachary is tremendous; since Tori's arrival, I find myself thinking about them several times a day. How I wish that I'd had another alternative, some better medical treatment that could have prolonged that pregnancy without endangering me further so the boys could be here with me now, glorious and rambunctious at nearly two years old.

But then I look at Tori and I think about how her adorable and tiny body harbors an equally adorable and tiny uterus. And I think about how my mom had preeclampsia when she was pregnant with me, and how her mother probably had it with her children. There is evidence to support the fact that preeclampsia may be a hereditary disease, meaning that Tori has a chance of developing it with her (far, far in the future) pregnancies. And since there has been little in the way of improvement in the treatment of preeclampsia since my mother was pregnant with me nearly forty years ago--they just put her on hospital bed rest and gave her magnesium sulfate, just like they did with me and the twins--well...

I think that now, more than ever, I must fight to keep abortion SAFE, LEGAL, and RARE.

I hope and pray that no other woman is told that a much wanted pregnancy has to be terminated in order to survive. I don't want anyone, ever, to have to through what I went through. It sucks. It sucks ass in a big way. That day remains the worst day of my life, and I would give anything to prevent that horror from happening to someone else.

But it does happen. It happens all the time, and someday it might happen to my daughter. And I want, no, fuck that, I DEMAND that my daughter have the right to save her own life.

So I stand before you as a mother, as fiercely Pro Choice as ever. Giving birth to my daughter has only deepened and re-affirmed my resolve to fight for the right to control our bodies. For the lives of all of our daughters, I will continue to stand on the front lines of this battle.

Pro Child, Pro Family, Pro Choice. Rock on.

Comments

[Dana]

I had pre-eclampsia and bedrest and severe bleeding after giving birth with my first child, and then significantly worse pre-eclampsia and longer bedrest and horribly worse bleeding/not clotting with my second. I was told that trying for a third would put my health in serious jeopardy, definately result in bedrest (most likely months, possibly all 9 months) and most likely an emergency hysterectomy - and that was the best case senario. Due to that , and because the chances of it failing are something like .5%, my husband had a vasectomy. Ten months later, 2 days before Christmas, I found out I was pregnant. While I can get pregnant easily, and have not had any problem with genetic disorders, I am not, apparently, any good at pregnancy itself, and I have two beautiful children who need their Mommy. On Jan 5th my pregnancy was terminated. It was the most horrible few weeks of my life, and I don't know that I will ever "get over it" Like some of the other women here have said, I will always wonder "what if this time would have been different" and, although at 7 weeks it was too early to know if the baby would have been a boy or girl, to me she will always be my Abby - the third child I always wanted with all my heart, since the time I was a little girl.

That all being said, if I *couldn't* have made that choice, I don't know what I would have done. My children need me to do everything I can to make sure I am always here for them. So, Cecily, I'm standing up with you, more fiercely Pro-choice than ever.

[lindsay]

love you cecily. darn straight it is all about choice.

[Michele Lane]

I always find myself in a weird place when it comes to the abortion issue. Being an evangelical I have to don a flame retardant suit to even mention that I am prochoice. Is it possible to be a prolife prochoicer? It would have to be very very serious (like something you went through) in order for me to have an abortion.. and really I encourage anyone that comes into my path to make a choice to give life even if parenting isnt possible. BUT I cant advocate taking the right to make the choice away from anyone. Id hate to hear ANYONE tell me what I can and cannot do with my own body.
So, I stand beside you grieveing the loss of life, but never allowing anyone to take our right to choose away.

[legalmama]

I think it goes without saying that in the case of a medical emergency, where it is a choice between the mother's life or the life of the child, abortion must be legal. I think even many who are not generally pro-choice, like Miss W, would agree. (While I disagree with your stance generally, Miss W, I totally understand and respect it.) I think many would also have an easier time with abortion when there is no hope that the fetus will live if born.

The tougher issue is whether a healthy woman with a healthy pregnancy should have the freedom to choose to terminate the pregnancy. I believe that it is a woman's fundamental right to make such a choice about her own body. I think the woman's right to control her own body is paramount. No woman should be forced to stay pregnant and deliver a baby if she does not want to. I think we should educate women about their bodies and about birth control, and I think birth control should be readily available and affordable. It would be better if there were no unwanted pregnancies, but if there are, and there always will be, then a woman should have the right to choose whether to continue the pregnancy or to terminate.

[Heather]

Oh Cecily, I wish I could write as well as you to express what happened in my first pregnancy. When I read your posts about the boys, I long to be able to tell my story, but I just haven't been able to. Maybe someday I can.
Safe. Legal. Rare.

[Heather]

Oh Cecily, I wish I could write as well as you to express what happened in my first pregnancy. When I read your posts about the boys, I long to be able to tell my story, but I just haven't been able to. Maybe someday I can.
Safe. Legal. Rare.

[Leggy]

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why there were so many pro-lifers hanging out in Union Station (DC) today. Duh- because of the anniversary. Hmm, where were the pro-choice marchers?

[libby]

Yes. Rock ON. Safe, Legal and Rare. Thank you for posting this.

[Moira]

Thank you. As usual, you expressed yourself, the issue and the personal struggle beautifully.
Rock on!!

[Jenn]

Rock on indeed.

[Dead Bug]

May we always have the choice.

Beautiful post.

--Bugs

[Jo-Ann]

I wanted to shout and cheer after reading this. So well written....I gave my computer screen a standing ovation

[mamadaisy]

amen, sister.

[Elise]

Brilliant. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[luolin]

Thank you Cecily. I have always been pro-choice, but have become even more strongly so in the past few years, in part thanks to reading you and Uncommon Misconception and other blogs.

[Carrie]

At the risk of being a "religious absolutist" or "ignorant moralist," I agree with Miss W (flame me if you must). My stance is that abortion should only be a choice when it endangers the mother or child, and in those circumstances when an abnormality is detected in the child that would prevent a normal, healthy life, but really, is that being given a choice?

Anyway, thanks for letting us dialogue- and how great is it that we live in a country where we can?

[grumpygirl]

you go, cecily.

to any of the other posters who feel they're "pro-life... but..." that pretty much means you're pro-choice, which now, according to fundamentalists, means you're "pro-abortion."

the whole issue is filled with all these buzz phrases and sayings that make great sound bytes. only they don't take the reality of the world into consideration.

[Abigail]

Thanks for this post Cecily. We need to keep it safe and legal for Tori and all of us. It is a basic human right, as important to me as voting. Rock on.

[gillian]

Amen!!!
I hope and pray I never have to make the decision that you had to..but am grateful at this time the decision is mine to make..

[Anne]

My body my choice and may it always be that way.

[Anne]

yup that was me Cec. Haven't been around in a while now I gotta go and get caught up!

[CTG]

Pro CHOICE mom of 2 standing tall standing proud shouting loud.

[yanicka]

I just gave birth to my little girl....I am a single mom, the father asked me to terminate and I would not do it....after having been a surrogate twice and an egg donor twice....I could not see this baby as anything else than a blessing. that being said.....it made me even more pro-choice than I was before!!!! I could not imagine being in the position I was and HAVING to keep the baby. The stress, the emotional pain is something I don't wish on any woman.

[Heather]

Is that last line a bumper sticker, because it should be.

ROCK ON!

[Aurelia]

Thank you Cecily, I finally managed to write about my son's death and the deicsion I made to end his pregnancy and I give full credit to you and women like Julia for inspiring me.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.