It's That Day Again

I considered remaining silent today. I mean, if you are still on the road to starting a family (that cursed, bumpy, pot-hole ridden road of broken dreams and rotten sperm and smooshed ovaries), you don't want to think about today at all.

I didn't even realize I still had some bitterness about it until a friend said, "Oh, it's your first Mother's Day this year!" And I responded, wryly, "Yes, with a living baby."

Not nice. But, god, so true.

So if you are still in the trenches (ok, I'm mixing my metaphors--it's my blog, I get to do what I want), my heart goes out to you and remembers, oh so fucking well, what it was like.

But if you aren't, I have to say, well--it feels pretty damn nice. This morning (a beautiful, sunny morning after a storm) I got up and made blueberry pancakes and fresh-organic-from-a-local-farm sausage for my family. Soon I'll be getting ready to go to church, and putting Tori in some ridiculously splendid outfit.

I don't know when I became this person, but man, I love being her.

So, to all of you, try to have a happy day. Regardless of your 'status.' I know I will.

Comments

[Lisa]

Cecily,
Happy Mother's Day!! I'm so happy that your new job will allow you to be at home with your precious baby!! You sound so happy :) Have a good one!

~Lisa

[Annika]

Happy Mother's Day to you!

[Elise]

Happy Mother's Day! Was great to see you guys yesterday. I really miss just being able to walk 20 feet down the block and hang out with you guys.

Growing up my family was never very into Mother's Day, and I'm finding a very mixed response as a mom - on the one hand, I don't really care that much about it, and on the other hand, it really feels great when someone says it to me, especially the people who made me a mom (well, at least the ones who know how to talk). (Oh, what was the big surprise yesterday?)

[Maggie]

Today is my first mothers day as a mom too. People always say to me "I bet you can't remember what your life was like without her" and I smile and don't say anything. They dont want to hear the truth - that I remember very well what my life was like without her. I remember the years of trying to get pregnant, all the infertility test and shots and "magic wands" and snow-white pee sticks. I remember going to adoption classes, and making a "profile" and waiting and waiting for someone to pick us. I remember it all. No one wants to see me cry with both relief/gratitude that the wait is over and quiet grief that I had to go through it. So I smile and nod and say nothing. I am so grateful for my daughter and so grateful to her birthmother for making the choice to give birth and make an adoption plan. So to all you "mothers in waiting" I know how you feel and I will never forget how it feels and let me tell you - it will ALL be worth it - every minute of pain - when you have a child to love - I promise. Dont ever give up. Maggie

[liz]

Happy Mother's Day!!!

[ladykuri]

Happy Mother's day!!!!!!

I really think this is the best one ever, this is the first year my daughter has really known what today is, so I've been getting buried in handmade cards full of smiling stick people and crooked hearts, along with wildflowers from the backyard and lots of snuggly hugs. It's wonderful.

For everyone who is still waiting and struggling, you have my thoughts. While I've not been down your road, I can see it from here(while my daughter was concieved and carried uneventfully, there won't be another without following that road), and I do know that it is worth it. You'll get here in time, and then you will agree, I promise!

[Essie]

Happy Mother's Day!

[Nancy]

this is my 2nd first mother's day....the irish one is in march
best to you
and best to your readers

xo

[paulette]

This is YOUR time.... Congratulations and Enjoy! I have children at home, I've lost pregnancies and my son died very young. We are in the amazing quest of adoption... We have travelled different roads to where we are today... To all of the Mom's, expectant moms and want to be moms... hang in there and don't give up the hope and the faith to sustain... our days are nearing!!!

[Rachel]

Enjoy your day. Glad to hear about the local farm. Happy Mother's Day. I bumped into some people who knew way back when, and it reminded me, hey who is this woman with a husband, baby and good job? Oh, it is me, cool. Again, enjoy.

[Rachel]

Enjoy your day. Glad to hear about the local farm. Happy Mother's Day. I bumped into some people who knew way back when, and it reminded me, hey who is this woman with a husband, baby and good job? Oh, it is me, cool. Again, enjoy.

Weird, that posted as Paulette. Anyway.

[Rachel]

Enjoy your day. Glad to hear about the local farm. Happy Mother's Day. I bumped into some people who knew way back when, and it reminded me, hey who is this woman with a husband, baby and good job? Oh, it is me, cool. Again, enjoy.

[amy]

Happy Mom's Day Cecily. SO damned happy for you. Mom of a darling daughter and a new start! Enjoy :)

[Lys]

Happy Mothers Day Cecily! It was my first well with a fetus but nice all the same.

[Mary]

I hear you with the First Mother's Day stuff from others. I said the exact same thing to several people -- well, my first Mother's Day with a living child, but not my first.....It was a bit bittersweet. Such a better day than the last two, but still a little sad for me. Glad you had a good one! :)

[SusieJ]

Anyone wishing you a happy first m-day sh/would not be surprised or offended at that honest response. Anyone experiencing a loss (any kind) knows that grief stays, it (with luck) just becomes more manageable. I'm so glad you had a joyous Mother's Day.

And happy first self-employed work day too!

[spit]

I used to be very bitter about Mother's Day. This year was different (maybe the roses my stepdaughter sent helped). I have a mom and I am a stepmom so I celebrated with gusto.
I'm glad you had a happy day, too.

[JennyK]

Happy Happy Mother's Day. I'm so glad you had a nice one.

[car]

Happy Mother's Day. I'm so happy for you.

[evie]

Yep, that's exactly it.

[CappyPrincess]

Oh boy - yup, I remember what those days were like.

Congratulations on your newly found employment freedom and the time you have to spend with Tori.

You'll have a grand time watching her grow, I'm sure.

[Donna]

How beautiful that Jerry Falwell went to visit his mother today... smirk... (If this offends you, dont blame Cecily!!!!)

[Ali]

I appreciate your comment, "Yes, with a living baby." I feel the same--and when those things slip out I am met with uncomfortable silence. So it's nice to have someone else voice something similiar. Anyway, happy (belated!) Mother's Day. You deserve it.