On A Much Happier Note

A long time ago, before this blog (so, more than four years ago), I was still at the bottom of the mountain we had to climb to get Tori. I was just beginning to go through the tests to find out the extent of our infertility. I didn't know anyone in person that had gone through anything like this, so naturally I turned to online forums to find support and comfort.

Back then, this site was free, and the forums were full of women trying to have babies. But so many of them were super chipper and hopeful, and they all got pregnant so quickly. I started checking out the threads of those of us that had bigger problems, and somewhere in there, somebody started a thread for my city.

We were a diverse group, but we all shared a bitterness and humor and even--dare I say it--a hope that we would all one day be parents. These women read the first writings of mine that would later become blog entries. They held my hand through IUI after IUI that didn't work, through my first and only IVF cycle, through my OHSS and eventually the Frozen Embryo Transfer that turned into the boys. They never yelled at me for complaining about my morning sickness, and when the time came that I lost the twins, they sent me food, and love, and comfort. I helped when they lost babies too, some to miscarriage, one to Trisonomy 18, one through a domestic adoption where the birth parents changed their minds.

Somehow, we all kept going forward. A couple of times, we actually got together in person. The first time was at a restaurant at a mall, and we all laughed so much the waiter had to ask how we all knew each other. Eventually, we moved off the forum we used and began staying in touch more directly.

We all celebrated as, slowly but surely, babies began to arrive. Some (and some others, and some others) came through adoption. Some of us had babies with the help of IUIs, and some of us had babies via IVF. Some used gestational surrogates. And a couple actually got pregnant, unexpectedly, without medical intervention. Some folks even began considering second babies.

But some still waited.

Until now.

Last night, at 11:56 am, the last baby of our online group arrived (via surrogate). Welcome, Charlie, welcome home. You have no idea how many of us have been waiting so, so long for you. We're so glad you are here.

Now, nearly five years (five, you guys, FIVE) we are no longer a group of infertile women, but a group of mothers. Tears of joy are running down my face for all of us.

Congratulations, everyone. Ellen, Tara, Liana, Chrissi, Barb, Julie, Michele, Shelly, Margie, and of course, me. I'm not sure I would have made it this far without you.  I'm so glad--so fucking glad!--that we have all made it to the other side. It's pretty fucking great here.

Comments

[Sami]

And that is something that is truly wonderful... congratulations to all of you for getting to the other side. Now go hug your babies.

[AmyinMotown]

Awww, that's so wonderful. I was part of a great onlline group of women when I was going through infertility, and there were a group of us who really bonded ( no one lives by me, though). I was like the second to last to get pregnant, and then my friend Amy had to wait a looonnnggg time. I was SO happy for her when she had her (gorgeous, adorable) twin boys and it meant so much to me that all those women shared my joy when I had Maggie. Amazing how much I root for and care about people I have never even met!

And, I found Getupgrrl through one of them, and through her, all y'all. That alone was worth it!

[Tam]

It is wonderful that all of your group eventually became moms! I was also a member of that site up until about a year ago. My journey led me to adoption and I'm waiting for "The Call" that my son can come home.

[maggie]

What a beautiful post and tribute to community. I have goosebumps.

[Julie]

Hurray for us!!! I've been nostolgic all day. While we are all such different people - you are all my family. I never could have gotten through this without you!

[ksmaybe]

Brought tears of happiness to my eyes.

[Barb]

I'm still wiping tears from my eyes. That should have been prefaced with...get the kleenex. I can't imagine the last several years without my wonderful Philly Friends..and now all Philly Mamas!

Thank you so much for putting it into words that I've been thinking.

[Tyanne]

congratulations everybody, on your beautiful babies.

[bluepaintred]

beautifully written.

I think some of us "breeders" need to stop and think about how lucky we are that we got pregnant and carried to term so easily.

My first pregnancy, twins was a complete surprise. We didn't plan them. and Even though we only got to keep one of them with us, it was easy to get pregnant.

the second live born was planned, and from deciding to get pregnant and the positive test? three weeks.

Our third was conceived while using two different kinds of contraceptive!

I think its a horrible shame how some people wait and want and ache to have a baby and cannot, yet little 15 year old girls on drugs get pregnant at the drop of a hat, and hate it!

[chrystal]

Thank you for sharing your joy! Yours, theirs, all of it! I really needed to hear some good stuff.

[Heather]

Oh man. That post made me start crying. Congratulations to you all!

[Stephanie]

Wow. Just... amazing. Congratulations to you and all of your friends.

[Nikki]

Yet another reason I come here and have my spirits lifted. Congrats to all of you!

[jax]

There is hope. There is always hope. And this is a testament to it.
Let's all go, enjoy our weekends with our children whether with us yet or still in our dreams.

[Jenni]

Damn you woman. You need to have a kleenex warning at top of entries like that, with a smile or a sad face depending on what kind of tears they'll be!

Anyway, congratulations mommies! I admire your strength as I don't think I would have it myself.

[Essie]

Wow...gave me chills, and I am wiping away tears. Congrats to you all. Beautiful post.

[Sarah]

Your post, and the messages about newbie Charlie, had me in tears. I too was a member of that site for a long time but left after everyone lapped me on the way to motherhood.

[revdrmom]

What a wonderful post. Congratulations to ALL of you! And what a wonderful tribute to community.

[sk]

Wonderful! Just wonderful!!

[JuliaKB]

That's awesome! Congrats to all!

[Rachel]

That post was awesome and brought tears of joy to my eyes. I am so happy that you ladies had each other on this journey. Welcome Charlie.

[Tara]

Cecily, that was beautiful! I am SO thankful for all of you--I can't believe we've all finally made it. You made both Dan and me cry. It might send Dana over the edge tonight, so I'll wait to show it to her. :) I can't wait for you to meet Charlie!

[shelli]

I'm all verklepmt. I made a similar group of "IRL" friends through that site, and we still have one left - I pray for her all the time.

I love them, and cannot imagine my life without them, and cannot wait to share the joy that they experience, similar to your friend who has, at long last, "joined the club."

Mazal tov to her!

[z]

amazing! absolutely AMAZING!!!!! i am in awe of your friendship.

[The Aitch]

Yep, it's a pretty amazing group of women you got there and I'm so happy for all of you.