I've been suffering from a mild case of the blues of late. No reason, really; just feeling old, tired, fat, and bored. You know, the usual. Heh.
I can see where the problems lie; I'm not exercising anymore, for one. When I first quit my job to work from home I had a great plan (and for a while I even carried it out) of taking the baby and the dog for a walk every morning. But then it got hotter than fuck, and it's really hard for me to find the willingness to strap the baby to my back and walk with her when it's 95 degrees out with 95% humidity.
Plus as Tori gets more mobile, I am finding it harder to get buckled down and working as efficiently as I should. Charlie and I are trying to find a way to balance it, but it means I end up doing my work early in the morning, then while she naps, and then while she naps again, and when she's gone to bed. I don't really like working at ten o'clock at night, or at six in the morning. I know it will shake out, but it's been a bit of a challenge lately.
Then there are the migraines; better now, but still--I have a headache of some sort every single day. No, really.
Then there are the constantly dying cats--we've lost three in the last year. It's not a shock--they were all incredibly old, and I always knew that once they started to go it would happen really fast. First it was Spot with her stroke, and then Frank with his incessant vomiting, and now Fifi. And now Dylan is biting Tori, and I don't really know what to do. My last (joking) post notwithstanding, I would never torture an old cat by making him adjust to a new home at this point in his life--or ask someone to take him in and love him for only a short while. Torture all around. But I don't know what steps I'll take if he actually hurts her by biting her (these two bites were really just scratches--her feelings were hurt more than her arms). I'd hate to resort to keeping him in the basement (even if it is finished), but I might have to, at least during the day when she's awake. Ug. I hate this. I suppose there is the slightest chance that she'll choose to avoid him now. I really hope so.
I stopped eating wheat for about two weeks to see if it would help the migraines, but I didn't notice any change. I know I need to give it longer, and I will try--of course I ate all kinds of wheat yesterday. Just cause.
Sigh.
I know, also, that some of this is lack of sleep. Thursday night I was just about to fall asleep when the baby woke up to nurse, and then I heard a noise in the bedroom closet, and then the dog freaked out, and the next thing I knew I had a screaming baby and I was trying to catch a bat flying around my bedroom naked. Not the bat--the bat had fur. I was naked. I'm not afraid of bats, particularly (in fact, the last bat that got in the house I successfully caught in a towel and released outside). But I don't like catching them while I'm naked, and I certainly did not want to try to go to sleep with a bat in my bedroom. It finally got out the way it got in (that's a whole other story). But it took me hours to fall asleep.
Then Friday night I went out to celebrate Catherine's upcoming nuptials, and even though she was totally not into the idea of strippers we managed to con her into karaoke at a crazy busy bar downtown. I didn't get home until late and it took hours again to wind down.
Then last night I simply could not sleep. No reason.
So, anyway, I'm now blathering--but you get my point. I'm blue, and it could be for any number of reasons. Including the fact that now it's cold and rainy here. Sigh. Just call me the self-pity goddess. Heh.
How are you?
