Those Topics You Wanted Me To Write About

We're nearing the end of NaBloPoMo, and I haven't covered nearly all of those topics you were kind enough to suggest I write about last month. And since you've been so kind and helping me with work stuff (if you are in the mood, you can go again and Digg this NEW article for me, thank you ever so much, I promise not to ask again for a while--you have no idea how much this is helping me with work), I figured I would take this next-to-last day and answer all of them.

Yep, all of them. Ready? Speed topics!

1. Susan asked what I think about the Canadian health care system. Frankly, I know fuck-all about it except that you lucky bastards have one where the government pays for basic medical stuff and then if you have a nice employer they give you additional coverage that pays for things like chiropractic care, and that every time I talk about health care here someone from Canada complains about waiting six hours in the emergency room in Canada. All I can say is, I'm totally jealous. As a privately insured individually here, I've waited 6+ hours in an emergency room many, many, many times--so it's not just a problem of socialized medicine. It's a problem with emergency rooms. So you guys have it gooooooood.

2. Melody asked how I feel about the Duke Lacrosse story now that the dust has all settled. I know this is a leading question on her part because she has always believed that the Lacrosse players were innocent. All I can say is, only the woman at the heart of the story knows what happened, and if she says she was raped, I believe her and I always will. One out of four women in this country is sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. I am one of those women; I was not believed; I will always believe the others.

3. Jenn asked me about sex after having kids. Since I have no idea what she's talking about, I'll let that one go. Oh, and if you see my sex drive? Send it home.

4. Wordnerd asked me about plus-sized pregnancy. This really deserves its own post, and I'll come back to it another time, but I wanted to link to this most awesome site that has some great support and suggestions. That site gave me the frame work for interviewing obstetricians, and really gave me a self-esteem boost about the whole process. The good? Not looking pregnant (I just looked fatter), and not getting a lot of inappropriate public touching and advice. The bad? Not looking pregnant and getting the accolades, and of course, the fucking clothing issues (the only place I found decent clothes is J.C. Penney online).

5. Kristin asked many things, one already addressed above, but I will answer just this one: no, no more kids for us.

6. Laura asked how I got my name. My mom grew up in the tiny little town of St. Joseph, Illinois (outside of Champagne-Urbana) and her best friend that lived across the street was named Cecily. Cecily is, ironically, a lovely amazon of a woman that is nearly six feet tall. Since I am only 5'2", Cec calls me, fondly, a dwarf. Cecily, if you were wondering, means blind.

7. Mimi asked what I think about politicians and celebrities popping into rehabs whenever they get into trouble for anything (including Larry Craig and his gay-bathroom-sex thing). All I can say is, rehab centers are a huge for-profit industry. They never turn anyone away--unless, of course, they can't pay.

8. Vita asked several questions. First about the Dutch health care system; see my answer about Canadian above--in short, jealous! Secondly, what would I saw to Tori at 16? I would say this: Tori, you aren't as fat as you think you are, I promise. Third, the only thing I miss about my life before Tori is the easy belief I had in God, and that was really before I lost the twins. Fourth, what we hear about Europe in the news varies drastically by medium. In print, you get a decent amount; maybe 5% of all coverage is about the rest of the world (I know; but 20% is advertising, 20% is fucking sports, 10% is movies/tv/gossip, and the rest is local and domestic stuff). On the radio, well, if it's NPR, you get plenty of information about Europe. If it's talk radio, you get almost nothing (talk radio is primarily focused on one end of the political spectrum or other and simply hammers home one message per show). On television, major network news may give a minute or two to Europe a night, but it's not much (however, some shows that devote an hour to news may give that full time to one European issue occasionally). CNN/Fox/et all, which run news 24 hours a day, you would THINK would provide extensive and insightful information about the entire world, but they don't. They run the same twenty minutes or so worth of information over and over and over endlessly, or will spend three hours on a police chase in Alabama. I (not to sound sanctimonious or anything) get a decent amount of information about Europe by listening to the BBC's News Hour every day on my local NPR station.

9. Chickenpig asked what I think about the various political candidates. Sigh. Here's a brief rundown on the two front runners; I think Giuliani is a fraud (did you know that the communications issues that caused the death of so many in the second World Trade Center tower was well known since the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, and in fact Giuliani's office repressed that information for three and a half years?) and I think Hillary Clinton is hardly ideal. But I know who I'll vote for, and who I hope will win. I'm sure you all know who that is.

10. Laura asked if I've ever considered writing longer works, like a book or a novel. The short answer? Yes. What? You wanted more?

11. Lauren asked me about my views on sex, drugs, rock and roll, homosexuality, babies, and religion--basically, she said, anything I wouldn't discuss at the dinner table.  Clearly, Lauren, you have never eaten at my table.  And I am for all of the above (yes, even the drugs--she didn't specify legal or illegal!).

12. Ang asked what it's like being on the "other side" of infertility. It's funny--it doesn't feel like a different side--but infertility no longer feels like a crushing weight. Seeing pregnant people no longer bothers me, holding babies is fun, I no longer long for anything baby-related (except maybe the younger Tori and the easier non-toddling days). That is nice. The funny thing is, those still struggling for their first child often feel like I no longer understand. But I do, I really do.

13. Ellen asked about teaching Tori about having a healthy sexuality. I promised you all I'd get to that, and I will--tomorrow (hey, it's a great way to close out the month!).

14. The Aitch asked about sex, how it compares now to my younger years. That one's easy: then, I had it. Now, I don't. Heh.

15. Hetty asked me if there is anything Republicans and I agree about. I almost didn't want to answer her cause then she dissed one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott (who is, admittedly, rabidly anti-Republican). Heh. Truthfully, there just isn't very much. Perhaps on tort reform there might be some common ground, but that's it. Basically, I'm totally a tax-and-spend liberal; I think government exists to help provide for and protect its people. So it's not likely we'd have much in common.

16. Ashley asked if I've had any arguments with people in my real life about things that have come up in my blog. Yes, but not about things like politics. I've had posts I've written about family backfire and really hurt people (I've since removed them); I've had one post about my dog lead to a long email discussion with a friend. But mostly it's been very, very positive.

17. Liz asked about the migraines. You already have heard a lot about them this month, but she asked if I had more money if there is anything else I would try. Yes! I would get a massage and a chiropractic adjustment every week if I could afford it, and I would also do weekly acupuncture. Both of those alternative medical treatments, I have found, are amazingly helpful and effective. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be able to do them regularly. Sadly, going once in a while offers some help but not the improvement you see with regular treatment. Oh well.

Whew! That's all of them. Aren't you glad? One more day. One more day. One more day.

Comments

[Ashley]

Wow, your mom's from St. Joe? I live in Urbana, and almost married a guy from St. Joe. Really glad I didn't, biggest mistake of my life. But that town is honestly a bit disturbing, mostly because of the stereotypical small town stuffs.

[Vita]

Thanks! :-)

[Garnigal]

All the things you talked about in that post, and naturally I'm going to pull out a little bit of throwaway info.

Cecily, if you were wondering, means blind.

Don't know if you read LM Montgomery, but in The Blue Castle she had a character named Cecily who was left pregnant and abandoned by her lover. In addition to the blindness cause by love, she also turned a blind eye on her father's alcoholism and their family's bad reputation.

And now I know how tricksy Lucy was with that. ;)

[Kim]

Well, I didn't know that about you. Growing up in St. Joseph. I live in Springfield, IL how far is that from me?

[Chickenpig]

Now that I have actually been able to inform myself about some of the candidates on both sides, I feel the same way. G isn't the only fraud in the bunch, either. I think Romney is swinging any way the wind blows. A few things about Hillary bother me, too, but I think she is very smart, tough, and a very competent person. Oh, and she believes in evolution, which is a plus for me :)

I can't believe you waited until the end of November to get all these topics out of the way! Whew! You weren't one of those ppl who waited until the last week of the term to write all of your papers at once, were you?
As of 5:45 and 5:46 my twins will be TWO! Yeah! Just had to throw that in there :)

[Candy]

I'm thinking perhaps your sex drive and mine went out in search of an internet lover. Cause mine's been missing since AOL introduced instant messaging.

[Elena]

"All I can say is, only the woman at the heart of the story knows what happened, and if she says she was raped, I believe her and I always will. One out of four women in this country is sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. I am one of those women; I was not believed; I will always believe the others."

Um... wouldn't the accused rapists also know what really happened? I have four sons. My oldest once had a young lady ask her to accompany her to the church basement because she had to find some music or something. Once there she asked him to kiss her and he politely declined. Nothing more came of it, but if she had wanted to accuse him of making a pass, or worse, it would have been her word against his.

I think it is best to view these things on a case-by-case basis.

[JuliaKB]

Oh, tomorrow's post is gonna rock. I can feel it.
And did you see Huckabee's answer to the death penalty question re:Jesus last night? My head is still hurting. I might actually write about that tonight. Or I might punt it in favor of pictures. :)

[Amy in BC]

I too appreciate the Canadian Health Care System. When I read about families being denied care or going bankrupt when faced with serious illness I am MAD.

Here in Canada you worry about your illness, not how the hell you are going to pay for your treatment. I can't imagine facing cancer and worrying not only about my mortality but the financial well being of my family. Scary stuff..

[Nicole]

Have to agree with Amy there (and not just because we're from the same province). I just left a similar comment over at Linda's (Sundry's) place - I thank my lucky stars every day that I'm able to go into any hospital or clinic, get treatment and not worry about how I'll afford it.

It gets me mad that a country as wealthy as the US can't see beyond the end of its own conservative nose to see that providing medical care actually makes for a stronger country.

[Kathy]

I am really disappointed to learn that you cannot say that your belief in that woman's story about being raped was wrong. While I may have been inclined to believe her at first, as more info came out, her story didn't exactly hold up (understatement). Sometimes women DO lie about being raped and blindly believing every single story (based on one's own personal experiences) does a real disservice to real victims, not to mention the wrongly accused.

[Lauren]

Lol - How embarrassment having my Question up there, lol.

And - I would be very interested to sit at YOUR dinner table! =)

[Michelle]

Just wanted to say I was ready to rip my head off due to twice-weekly migraines that left me pretty much bedridden. I can't be stuck in bed for two days at a time with kids, and I was getting really depressed and hopeless. My doctor finally put me on a med that is actually for high blood pressure, and it has changed my life. It took about a month to kick in. Now, I have a migraine once a month and it's so mild, I can still function. Good luck!

[Melody_NC]

Thanks for responding to my question! I do want to point out that I never thought that the players were innocent from the beginning and don't believe I ever posted a comment to that effect (I even did a search on your blog and nothing popped up). I do remember typing out a comment when you did your initial post on the Duke Lacrosse situation but I ended up deleting it. While I admired you for sharing your sexual assault story the comments you received about the Duke players seemed to gradually morph into a "lynch mob" mentality with regard to the players. I remember thinking whatever happened to innocent before proven guilty? It really bugged me and I was going to comment and then decided not to. And this is also coming from someone who was sexually assaulted in college so I'm not naive to what can happen at a college party. I didn't report my incident; I'm impressed with the strength you showed when reporting yours.

I believe now that the players are innocent and I'm sorry for what they and their families have been through. I'm also sorry that one woman's false claim of rape will cause other true rape victims' accounts to be questioned.

On a lighter note, I love your blog even when I don't agree with you! :)

[Pamala]

Being fat and pregnant was great! No one knew I was pregnant except those I told. I didn't have to answer questions constantly, didn't have to deal with the work baby shower (because I knew they'd forget it or be lame about it) and I didn't have a big going away party because no one knew why I was quitting. People were surprised when they saw the balloons on my desk which had congrats and a baby on it. LOL! I was like, yeah I'm 37 weeks along and they were like, no way! I had her three days after I left work which wasn't the plan but hey things happen.
Also what was great is I lost weight during my pregnancy and dropped 40lbs after I had her. Of course I've gained all 40 back but it was cool to lose finally.
I too think the players were innocent, not at first but after what was presented, this woman had done this before so it's not like she could be trusted. I hate when people do that because then woman who are assaulted aren't believed because of the few that abuse the system.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Cecily, this is a first -- I am a trifle disappointed in you. I have always seen you as a very sensible woman who was never afraid to look truth in the face. If you will take the time to look into all the facts of the Duke Lacrosse case, I think you will see that the young woman's story simply doesn't hold water. I admire your solidarity with sexual assault victims, but people do lie about things for their own purposes. I have been a victim of sexual assault. I have also been at the receiving end of big fat lies being directed toward me. I think the young men of the Lacrosse team were incredibly foolhardy to have that party, but I do not think they raped that woman. I hope you will look into it further before coming to a firm conclusion.

As for Annie Lamott, oh no! Surely I never dissed one of my very favorite authors! Okay, I don't remember what I said. But what I'd like to say now is simply that it makes me sad that she apparently hates *me* because I now (usually, not always) vote Republican. *Sniff!*

Thanks for taking the time to wrap up everyone's questions! A very thought-provoking post.

[Melissa]

Just a quick money-saving suggestion for massage: Near our home, there are two schools of massage therapy. Both offer cheap, one-hour sessions with advanced students a couple of times per week. I'm 19w pregnant and going 2x a month has eased my sciatica (not great before the pregnancy, pretty terrible during).

I memory serves, you're in Philly. I did a quick Google search and found that the Massage Arts Center of Philadelphia offers 60 minute student massages for $35, see http://www.massagearts.com/clinic.html I know $35 isn't dirt cheap, but it might be cheap enough for you to go more often.

[Melissa]

Just a quick money-saving suggestion for massage: Near our home, there are two schools of massage therapy. Both offer cheap, one-hour sessions with advanced students a couple of times per week. I'm 19w pregnant and going 2x a month has eased my sciatica (not great before the pregnancy, pretty terrible during).

I memory serves, you're in Philly. I did a quick Google search and found that the Massage Arts Center of Philadelphia offers 60 minute student massages for $35, see http://www.massagearts.com/clinic.html I know $35 isn't dirt cheap, but it might be cheap enough for you to go more often.

[LizD]

The sex drive?? It really does come back. Eventually. But not when you're busy with a toddler all day and running yourself ragged. We've learned to enjoy the late afternoons and evenings when the teenager is out on his own. It will come back. Honest.

[christine Lucy's mom]

i came upon your blog by way of the babylossdirectory and i have to say that i find it compelling. i keep multiple blogs. one about my anger one about TTC and one complete dedicated to my beautiful child gone to soon and always here at that same time. because my loss so recent i find i compartmentalize my feelings at times. i admire your honesty in all things. i will continue to follow you blog. if you want to visit mine you can find them here: http://clownbaby.blogspot.com/ http://clownfamily.blogspot.com/
http://clownmom.blogspot.com/

[DebbieS]

All that wonderful long post, and I only have one comment: you're only 5'2"?? Somehow I have always imagined you as 5'1". You talk tall =)

[DebbieS]

I meant, 5'10". Aargh!

[northerngurl]

Migraines. They suck.Mine are mostly hormonal. I started using Maxalt two months ago. It's worked pretty good for me, but costs a small fortune. A massage never hurts either.

Really like the new look on your site.