New Year Approaches...why am I so tired?

I have been thinking about this great post I want to do, all about cocaine, prison, rehabs, the supreme court and mandatory sentences, but you know what? My cup don't runneth over; my cup is fucking EMPTY. I am drained.

I'd forgotten that one of the great things about my last job was that I got the two weeks directly following Christmas off. This allowed me to spend the day after Christmas laying prostrate on the couch, not even deigning to wear a bra for the day, watching whatever crap the television had to offer me. This was glorious. This allowed the batteries time to recharge after all the cooking and the cleaning and the shopping and the stress of the sobriety anniversary (one tends to get a bit crazy prior to one's anniversary) and the going to church 25 times, the PMS and the oh! thanks! Merry Fucking Christmas! I got my period Christmas morning! You know, all that stuff.

But this year, I have the world's most energetic 18 month old toddler, a job to do, and small construction projects going on so I had to leap out of my bed on December 26 and hussle my ass about trying to DO shit.

It wasn't good.

Within 24 hours, I was finding myself becoming snappish, churlish, and every other word that really just means being a big old asshole. I'm tired, I'm depleted, and I really, really, really want to lay around all day without a bra on and without a husband or toddler or dog or cat NEEDING me.  But of course I can't stop, or slow down, and my body reacted by slamming me with the mother of all migraines yesterday, which I didn't have time for, because I had to write a press release, damn it, and...

I had to take some pills, call my mom to watch Tori, and go to bed.

It didn't last long. I stayed in bed for only an hour, got up, wrote the damn press release, sent it off, we all ate left overs (still have tons--want to come over?) and then I rudely kicked my mom out at 8pm after Tori went to bed so I could watch a stupid crime show and go to bed.

I feel slightly better today. I am taking myself to a movie this afternoon, then Charlie and I are going to dinner and a show tonight which should be great fun. Maybe tomorrow I can lay about without a bra on. Sigh.

______________________________________________________

I have two quick items of business to take care of. Charlie and I are going to be traveling (yeah!) in February (we're going to Tucson and Albuquerque, with a stop at the Grand Canyon as well--just a small trip!). We'll be away from February 11 to the 27th. I don't suppose there is anyone out there that is yearning to visit Philadelphia that needs a house to stay in that wouldn't mind feeding a cranky cat and walking Hammer the Best Dog Ever™ once a day? :) Normally, Sarah would watch Hammer for us, but two and half weeks of three dogs (they have two of their own over there) is a lot. If you are interested, email me.

Secondly, as of January 1st, the www.zia.blogs.com/wastedbirthcontrol/ address for this blog will be no more (sob!). Kindly change your links, everybody! You can use www.uppercasewoman.com; in fact, that is what I would prefer, if you don't mind too terribly much. www.zia.blogs.com will continue to work as well, but I'd really like the other one to be used more. Thank you!

Comments

[revdrmom]

I think the week after Christmas can be harder in some ways than the lead up. Exhaustion, and in my case at least, a bit of a let down, too. I am lucky enough to be off this week. I hope you get some rest and recuperation! I would guess that the hard part of working from home is actually scheduling your off time.

If I were closer I'd love to pet sit. Sorry I can't help this time.

[grammice]

I can relate to the no-bra week. Jeez now you made me miss it again!!! I wish I could come to Philly. I was born not too far from there and could stand a good dose of cranky cat and friendly dog. Compared to bitchy neighbor, crazy co-worker and a house that really needs a good purge! Noticed this while taking down Christmas decorations. Enjoy your totally cool "mini-trip".
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[Robin]

That's the thing about this "Mom" gig. No time off. You're lucky your mom is close by. Mine is 3000 miles away.

[Diana]

O My Gosh, When will you be in Albuquerque???
I would love to get together with you all and meet my niece!!!! Please e-mail and let me know.

[illahee]

i'm afraid i won't be around during that time, but i hope you enjoy your trip!

(fyi, i put your new address in bloglines, and the word 'loss' is misspelled (in the blog's discription). just thought you'd like to know. :)

[Mary]

Just for your info, there's one trace of "and I wasted all that birth control" left... right up the top in the title bar of your window. I've put a screenshot at http://users.puzzling.org/users/mary/tmp/cecily.png
(only there for a couple of days).

That info comes from the title part of your HTML, and it is also what search engines will use as their name for your page, so you still come up as "wasted birth control" on, eg http://www.google.com/search?q=cecily+uppercase+woman&btnG=Search&hl=en

[HeatherHM]

Oh, you're coming to Albuquerque! Hey, if you find yourself bored and lonely and you want to meet a longtime reader and huge fan, drop me a line. Otherwise, I'll just keep my eyes peeled for a Cecily-sighting. Heh. ;) ;)

[AdirondackJen]

Balance, balance, balance. ~Slow down, you move too fast, gotta make the sanity last!~

Don't just do something, sit there!

Hectic as it is, it DOES get easier. I swear, the day they started wipin' their own butts was the day I finally relaxed. It's been nearly smooth sailing ever since.

Assvice: Train her early that helping (folding towels, carrying wood, clearing the table, windexing the windows, filling the waterbowls, wiping the counter, changing the windshield wipers) are normal things for kids to help with. I always told them, Hey! You can be in charge of xyz!!! and let them do it their own way. They got such a sense of control and pride, I think. Now they help and never complain. Not lying!! Just can't care if it's not perfect; they'll get there eventually. Well, it worked for me so far..they're 9 and 11. I'll probably be kicking myself for jinxing it in 2 or 3 years.

But still, hang in there. It will get better!

[Amy in BC]

I would love to house/dogsit for you. Unfortunately I am too far away. Hope you find someone though, a vacation will do you well!

[Christine]

Well, if you can get the beasts as far as Tucson, they can hang out here. I would promise to pay more attention to them than I do my own crew.

[Meira]

Hammer could come stay with us if you want . . .

[Eliza]

Oh, Cec. My body did the same thing to me (basically flipped me the bird, said SCREW YOU and kicked my legs out from under me using a migraine and assorted other tricks and musculoskeletal sleights of hand, plus collaborated with the brain and gave me a "start thinking hospital stays"-grade anxiety attack) just yesterday. But as I was just telling my six-year-olds, our bodies are very smart in the ways that they make us hold still and rest when we need to hear. Too bad it's so fucking hard to listen to them with kids, pets (I just have a bird but my husband is afraid of her and refuses to give her food or water, so if I start to feel a migraine coming on the first thing I do is feed and water the bird, sometimes even before I take any pills), and, in your case, the working. I remember the working from home years unfondly, although I do yearn for the baseline level of physical health that would allow for doing it again. Especially since we have finally had to cave and hire someone to help me with the house and the children. I am not allowing myself to think about money at all right now or I think my brain might just intervene by giving me a stroke. Feel better, friend.

[Eliza]

WHOAH--there is a key typo in that there comment. Six-year-old. Singular. If there were two of them I'd be dead.

[Amyesq]

Thank you! I actually really needed to read about you being tired. You completely hit the nail on the head. I couldn't understand why, right after Christmas, I became such an unholy bitch! I thought to myself (as you may have done) "What a wonderful Christmas, it was great to see everyone, and I should be SO thankful to have my family and my daughter(s), so why do I feel so fucking snappy?" But you got it exactly right. I was used to relaxing for a couple of days and slowly but mellowly putting away the gifts and writing thank-yous, etc. But with, in your case, a rambunctious 18-month-old (who also gets gifts requiring putting away and thank-yous) and, in my case, 14-month-old twins, the drain is just HUGE. And after the days of busy build-up we just need a break.

I hope this weekend brings it for you. It goes without saying that Christmas with our families is wonderful but so is, say, a nice solo nap without the "shoot I have to do this this and this" going through our heads.

[Debbie in the UK]

Hey!

Just watched the movie "Holiday" and thinking maybe a fortnight on Philly might be just the ticket for me....going through my own personal here in Wales and I will think on this and get back to you.

Love

Debbie

[Debbie in the UK]

Oops, personal HELL that is.

[Sheri]

I can't wait to hear all about the trip.... we are going o AZ in March for the 1st time and are so excited!!

The mom gig is 24/7 and sometimes I want to scream until I'm hoarse. sigh and I dont have a toddler anymore but I do remember those days. non-friggin' stop movement. ugh

[JuliaKB]

Damn, that sounds unpleasant.
I hope today is a better day. I certainly think a braless day is an important part of the holiday season, and I hope you get yours and soon.

[Carly]

I live in Phoenix and have some great contacts in Phoenix and Flagstaff...if you want/need any advice (particularly with food) let me know!

[alison]

Have a great time out west. I went to school in Albuquerque and Flagstaff, so I know the land and am very excited/envious of your trip! Please take and post lots of pictures.