Just When I Thought I Was Getting Better...

Yesterday I took Tori to the YMCA to swim, which she dearly loves. She comes over to me and says, "Swim? Water?" and my heart melts and we get everything together and go on over to the pool and swim. It's some of our best time together, and I forget that if I put everything aside and make it ALL ABOUT TORI the time we have together is wonderful and perfect and she is just a dream.

She's fearless at the pool, jumping in while holding onto my hands, going fully under with each jump (yes! really!) and coming up giggling. She then grabs onto the side of the pool and clambers out, all by herself, and does it again. This amazes all the other mothers at the pool, and I felt very smug (they asked, "How old is she? And I said, smiling, "Oh, she'll be two in June") watching the moms of four-year-olds timidly putting toes into the water as they went down the stairs.

After about a million jumps Tori was getting tired and sitting on the stairs and kicking and playing, and then sometimes she'd get bored and go jump for a bit and then go back to the stairs and I was heading back to meet her at the stairs when I saw it: poop in the pool.

Not a big ol' poop, just little frayed bits of poop. Now, I'd been diligently checking her swim diaper because about four or five days ago after swimming we'd headed into the showers and I'd been surprised to find a gift there in her diaper, so I'd probably checked it about a dozen times while we were swimming yesterday. Once I saw the floaties, I checked it again. It was spotless--clean as a whistle.

A few minutes before I spotted the floaties a dad had come in with a year-old boy, and he was the only other kid in the pool in a diaper. It may have been him. It might have been an older kid. But it wasn't Tori.

But the other moms? They all thought it was.

Everyone had to get out, and we all went to the showers. There had been a large birthday group in the pool, and they were all in the showers too, glaring daggers at me. I took Tori's diaper off, and I put it outside our little shower cubicle so they COULD ALL SEE IT WAS CLEAN. Some saw it, and their gazes softened. But not all of them. Not at all. The mother of the birthday boy, especially, was viscous--if gazes could cut, I'd have been sliced to ribbons.

What bothered me wasn't so much the glares. I mean, there was only five minutes left of swim time anyway, no one really lost anything, and every kid was so dipped in chlorine it wasn't like anyone was going to get sick, and it was probably about a teaspoon of poop-substance at most anyway. Oh, AND IT WASN'T TORI.

What bothered me is HOW MUCH IT BOTHERED ME. I was SO EMBARRASSED. I wanted so much for those other moms to KNOW it wasn't me, it wasn't MY KID. Jesus, I'd never seen any of them there before, chances are I won't again, so why do I care? Of course, it's entirely possible that the mom of the birthday boy was more worried about the party than she was worried about me. But still.

Sheesh. And I thought I'd grown up.

Comments

[Jess]

Been there, done that. Except my kid DID poop in the pool. A few weeks ago, my youngest 15 mos., had a swim diaper on that leaked. Thankfully, it was after lessons and there only a few kids playing. It was totally an accident--and I had a diaper on him--but I felt bad. I apologized to the other mothers and got into the showers as fast as I could.

But by the time I arrived home, I didn't feel so badly anymore (I've mellowed now that I'm on my third I think . . . had it been my first, I probably would have never gone back). I mean, I can't control his poop. At this point, neither can he. And I had the right kind of diaper on . . . it just leaked. We still swim because he LOVES the water, but I will admit I do put two diapers on him. Still just a little shell shocked.

Parents can be so judgmental and harsh about things, and it boggles my mind. I'm sorry you guys had to experience that . . . but keep on swimming. Swimming is awesome for little ones, and it sounds like Tori's off to a great start in the water.

[The Aitch]

Shit. Seriously. Next time please just say to the other moms, "It wasn't MY KID."

Why are moms so afraid to talk to other moms? Why is it so hard to look at another mom who's kid took a shit (whether they did really or didn't) and say, "Oh snap! Shit happne,s right? HaHaHa"

Everyone always acts as if motherhood is so perfect. Dude, shit in the pool sucks, but like it's the kind of thing we all know MIGHT happen, right? That's the chance we take by taking babies in the swimming pool. So fuck all y'all moms who think you're perfect. No such thing as a perfect baby or mother. Guess what? WE ALL GOTTA GET OUR SHIT ON SOMETIME!

[Eric]

"WE ALL GOTTA GET OUR SHIT ON SOMETIME!"
Word.

[bh]

I agree with Sarah...I would have been ALOT more vocal about the fact that it was NOT my kid after all the dirty looks...and not given a shit what the other moms said/thought!

[ally]

I have to agree, poop happens, especially when little kids are involved. I tend to figure that anyone who doesn't realize that isn't playing with a full deck.

I do know how you feel about the glares. I wouldn't worry too much about it, probably picked you and tori because you two wern't part of the party.

[Alison]

Oh, hell! I don't think I am any better but probably a very defensive person. I was about to go off on what #%@ these women were instead of taking the high road.

But who cares! Right, I'm going to try thinking this way in my own life;)

[porter]

yeah, why is it that we worry about these things? if someone else's kid 'did it' i wouldn't be upset, and if my kid did in fact do it it wouldn't be anyone's fault especially not my kid's...(jeez) but feeling uncomfortable about something that had zippo to do with you (and that would totally be me) is not good.

[Carrie Jo]

I would have smugly said, "Thank GOD it wasn't my kid!" just to see what those dagger ladies did.