In Which I Say, YOU ARE NOT HELPING

So about a gazillion of you folks emailed me this story in which a Yale student apparently artificially (or otherwise) inseminated herself for nine months and then induced abortions all in the name of art. Many claimed to be haunted by the story, as you should be, although I have to say after working for five years in an all woman art college the whole story just made me feel tired.

Hopefully by now you have all heard the follow up to the story; yes, Virginia, it was all a big fucking hoax. It was all a performance art piece to track the reactions people have to what women do with their bodies. And isn't it interesting? How people feel like she didn't have the right to do that with her body?

My initial reaction was just, oh lord have mercy, this is so NOT going to help the cause. But I find the reaction to it being a hoax very interesting; at the end of that Time piece a man saying, "Women who have suffered miscarriages and abortions don't find this amusing."

Really? Are you sure? I think perhaps he with the penis should SHUT IT. Because frankly? I think it being a hoax is actually kind of hilarious.

But overall, the whole mess is best ignored.

You want an art project to get up in arms about? Try this one. Warning: VERY DISTURBING IF YOU LOVE DOGS. Here is a petition to stop that artist from profiting from his sick work of "art."

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On a much lighter note... am I a bad person if I decide to just cut the arms and legs off my daughter's winter pajamas rather than buy her summer ones to save a little money?

Comments

[victoria]

1.

I have been known to cut the arms and legs off things to make them last longer. PJs and jeans with holes in the knees for sure.

[Celeste]

2.

Actually? The chopped pj's won't be that much cooler because they will still fit snugly where they do touch.

My suggestion is to leave the pj's as is, sell or donate them, and (ultra cheap idea coming here) just buy either some new or used t-shirts in a lot larger size than she now wears and let her sleep in those as jams. Or ask moms you know if they have any leftover t's for play. DD loves to sleep in T's, always has, and you still get the use of the shirts as shirts later on. Yeah, it might entail spending something now if you can't score hand me downs, but it's a frugal thing that worked for me.

[Lisa]

3.

I second the t-shirt idea. Hanes and Fruit of the Loom make t-shirts for boys in six-packs. Buy her some in a 4-6 and they'll be long enough to keep her little legs warm when the A/C is on.

[Pamala]

4.

I think it was more for me that she seemed so callous about it, because I'd think it would be hard to do it, but that callousness actually made me think it was a hoax in the first place. I just don't know any normal person who could do that.

As for cutting the pajama's go for it. Why not!

[Sherry]

5.

Absolutely about the t-shirts. GREAT idea. Or, check out places like Ocean State Job Lot or Big Lots for good deals on kids' pj's.

[Katie]

6.

I consider it a success if I can get my kids to wear underwear to bed!

[carmie]

7.

I clicked through to the "artist's" page showing some pictures of the exhibition. Fucking WRONG, the way the art patrons were standing around in the same room as this poor skeletal dog covered in sores and not one seemed to be upset. I hate people sometimes.

Tshirts are a great idea. Check out the thrift stores.

[Sheri]

8.

Hannah started sleeping in t-shirts at about Tori's age and has never looked back. We just used some of Gary's white Hanes or whatever they were and they are loose and come down to her knees. We tie-dyed a few of them with pinks and yellows so they look girly and she loves them.

[Gretchen]

9.

Why don't use some of the $ from your nifty tip jar and buy her pajamas?

[Melessa]

10.

I thought it was a hoax because to have both the AI and the herbs both do exactly what they were supposed to do in such a timely manner was very suspect to me. It was all just a little too convenient. And I'm not even what most would consider a skeptic.

As far as the PJ's go, I'm impressed with your creativity and I like the t-shirt idea.

[Rach]

11.

I was going to email it to you but figured many had beat me to the punch. I simply felt sorry for her; what had someone done to her in her past to hurt her in such a way.

It was a bit suspect that she could use only herbs to cause herself to abort like clockwork.

[Rach]

12.

On the pajama note - you're my kinda girl, Cec. Our weekly budget for EVERYTHING not medical and car related is $170. I do precisely this kind of thing to make it streeeeeeeeeeetch.

[mar]

13.

In our house - summer pajamas are undies - maybe a tank top! Of course, we don't have A/C so we just swelter the nights away in the lovely mid-Atlantic humidity ...

Onesies are the best toddler pj's, in my opinion. Help keep the diaper where it should be, a little cotton to help with the sweating, and something you always have around. And who cares if they've turned a little gray and dingy from getting washed w/the darks ....

[Val]

14.

My brother was a single parent and he'd cut the feet off the blanket sleepers when they got too short. My nephew was a furnace when he slept so the footless sleepers did not bother or harm him in any way. So go for it, if Tori won't get too hot. We all have to tighten the belts in this time of political BS (I mean recession).

A few days ago, I remember oil/gas prices jumping in the year of an election. I just don't remember if it went down any afterward. Do you remember?

[ally]

15.

That is presicly why I do do "art". Either have something to say or don't, but starving an animal, while there is dog food glued to the wall, that is wrong, and the people who viewed it are just as wrong.

The jams, I'd go with a tee shirt or just underpants.

[Rachel]

16.

I cannot believe you are saying this because I had the same damn thought the other night. Why go to old navy or target and get pajamas when I could just make them? HAHA Your the best!

[Cat]

17.

I so enjoy reading your blog. I have a special needs kid who likes to take off all of her clothes. I cut the feet off the jammies and even put them on backwards - at least I know her diaper and jammies will still be on in the morning!

[Shelley]

18.

On jammies, I used to try to put mine to bed in a diaper on really warm nights, but as it turned out not having jammies is against the Toddler World Order. I don't see a thing wrong with your solution, though!

[Sarah]

19.

I say cut the pjs! What a smart idea.

[Roxanne]

20.

I know you said not to look if you love dogs, which was precisely why I had to look and now I am so sad and upset. Why do I do that?

[Kathleen]

21.

Now the artist is claiming that Yale is full of shit. I think she should change the title of the piece to "Biting the Hand that Feeds You."

[Gry]

22.

I think I saw it on Boing Boing that the starving dog was also a hoax - as in, they took the dog in, tied it up and let people think they didn't feed it, and it was later released back out on the streets.

Wish I had the link...

[Tine]

23.

If you're a bad person, I'm downright evil for...

1) Refusing to buy daughter a new snowsuit this past winter, because her last year's one fit (for about 1 month of winter). And this is Minnesota.

2) Dressing said daughter in her older brother's hand-me-downs, with the result that everyone asks me how old my little boy is (when my son is nowhere in sight). Despite the fact that she has long, curly hair and super-girly-girl features.

[nellies nook]

24.

HA! Love the pj idea... that's cute. Go for it!

[amy]

25.

Depends. Are they flannel? In the summer my girls frequently sleep in long t-shirts and undies. Usually my too small t-shirts.

[Amy]

26.

Tell me what size she wears and I'll send you some hand-me downs!! We do t-shirts now, too, but only because she's old enough to stay under the covers. Hubby keeps A/C at meat locker temps...

[Jo-Ann]

27.

I use either hand me down pj's or thrift shop t-shirts and diapers or undies depending on the boy.When it is chilly we add a pair of sweatpants or long sleeves to the pj's.

I am thoroughly disturbed by the suffering dog as art. Is torture art?

The Yale student story reaked of hoax to me from the get go.

[Eva]

28.

No, and thanks for the tip. :) I was wondering what to put her in for the summer!

[CTG]

29.

Not anymore than I am for doing handme downs and cutting the FEET out of footie jammies when the kids get too tall for them.

[Elena]

30.

Well the man with a penis apparently spoke for me because I found the story disturbing on a number of levels.

This is the start of yard sale season Cec, you might want to start checking them out for toddler clothes - we do the t-shirt thing here for sleepwear and Rosie will be wearing a lot of long t-shirts this summer as I try to potty train her!

[stefanie]

31.

The dog as "art" is just sick. And even more sick are the spectators.

As for the pj's depending on what kind they are it would probably work well. I think I might actually do that with a couple of my sons favorites and just hem up the end so the won't unravel. We might have the problem with the tops being too short though. DH wants to go buy a pack of cheap tshirts and boxers for our 4 yr. old for summer pj's.

[Heather P.]

32.

Thanks so much for the warning on that. I just read the description from the petition. Sickening! What the hell is wrong with people? As for the young lady's art-She did nothing to further the cause of Safe and Legal, just my humble opinion.
I just don't understand calling something that gruesome art, but then again I love the Impressionist Movement, and think that there has been no real art since then-but again that's just my opinion. You know what they say about opinions-"like a$$holes, everybody's got one". ;-)
As far as the sleepwear goes-I am like everyone else-T-shirts and undies. Paddycakes is most comfortable in that combo. The kid is like a mini furnace and puts off so much heat when he sleeps.

[Kris]

33.

I do the cut off thing, cut off the legs, etc. Until it gets to hot, then I buy the white tanktops and put him in a diaper and a tanktop.

[Aurelia]

34.

Cecily,

She says it wasn't a hoax and she did really do it, and I have to say I'm wondering where the fuck her profs where?

I do care what she does with her body because I don't want my fellow human beings hurt or maimed. No, I wouldn't make a law, but when someone jumps in front of speeding bus, yes I am going to try to save her.

Just me, maybe?

This 20 year old kid obviously knows nothing about the dangers of STDs from sperm and the sperm either was not quarantined from HIV or she committed fraud with a donor bank to get it, both not allowed under Yale guidelines.

And that is the point, students have rules about what they can do and not do, and she agreed to abide by those rules in writing. She obviously never cleared this with her profs or the ethics committee.

They would've made her consult with a doctor and discuss the possible effects on her future fertility, like retained products of conception if the herbs didn't work.

Maybe she would've gone ahead with it after they figured out a safe way to do it, but art schools don't let students kill or maim themselves for performances, hell, they take the lead paint out, and insist on safety standards for certain materials.

Once they graduate they are their own, and can commit suicide in the name of art, but until then...they can't just do whatever the hell they want for a mark. What if she wanted to set the school on fire? Or set herself on fire?

Or inject herself with HIV? Or perform her own hysterectomy and mutilate herself?

As for her contention that this is her way of experiencing a miscarriage, there is no way this piece of logical fallacy gets past a prof. If she thinks that this is the same? She deserves to fail.

She has not lived our experiences and as far as I know has never had a pg to begin with, yet did no research, no interviews, no nothing....just flew off the handle doing whatever.

And no prof gives a good mark for poorly researched crap, ever.

Still love ya Cec, but we will have to agree to disagree here.

[Kira]

35.

I think the jammies idea is just simple recycling. Very green of you. Not only are you not a bad person, you're doing your part to save the world.

And on a less light note I think both those "artists" are completely screwed up. They've communicated that well with their work. Bravo. Aren't there any higher values than artistic expression?

[Chickenpig]

36.

The performance art of the man cutting off his penis and bleeding to death that I was forced to watch and critique for my 3d studio class was far worse, and it wasn't faked. I also endured a student throwing himself around a white room, taking a dump, and throwing his feces and smearing it all over himself. I HATE concept art, and performance art is a close second. And it doesn't matter how many graduate level art history classes I take, it doesn't make it any better to watch, or explain how it's 'ART'. It just makes me able to BS about it better.

My boys wear onesies in the summer months, I would have no problems cutting the feet off of their PJ's, except the blanket sleepers are too hot, and even though they are twins, they wear two different sizes so N can wear the bigger size next year. My kids love to snuggle under blankets, no matter what the temp, so they can't wear much.

[Jenni]

37.

Please lock that man up with a pack of hungry wild dogs so he can get to hell faster.

[Sharon]

38.

and if you go the t-shirt route and don't feel like tie-dying?
pull out some Sharpie markers and art them up - trace around Tori's hands, draw on some stars, moons, fairies, dogs, cats, whatever she's into.
whenever anyone gives me a t-shirt that won't work for anyone as a shirt (ie - a size small) it goes straight into my daughter's pajama drawer.
one more way to recycle!!

[Molly Malone]

39.

i don't think you're a bad person. ... at least not in this economy. ;)

[akeeyu]

40.

There are only two things that bother me about that bimbo's 'art' project:

1. That she is referring to what she did/didn't do/did (depending on if you believe it was a hoax, or that the statement declaring it a hoax was a lie, or...oh, who gives a fuck?) as miscarrying, when...no. If you take herbs (or don't, see above) to stop a pregnancy, that's an abortion, not a miscarriage.

2. That there is a thread over on Feministing discussing this topic, and several commenters have declared that there is no practical difference between an abortion and a miscarriage. MORONS.

Oh, and I say hack those pajamas, especially if they happen to be striped. Pirate pajamas!

[Kim]

41.

Perhaps the man's wife had had miscarriages or abortions...and I think, really, that it doesn't matter whether or not the woman really didn't. The fact that she DIDN'T do it pisses me off even more (although I am relieved for the state of her uterus, because my goodness, the scar tissue). I am relatively conservative, although my views on this subject have morphed over the last two years. But I think that this woman was both grossly abusing (or mistreating) her right to make a choice about this matter and also grossly underestimating the impact of abortion and miscarriage on women who do endure it. (I am not one of these women, but I can understand it. Perhaps like the man you mentioned...just a thought.) I just think it was insensitive and missed the point of what she was trying to do.

ANYway. My personal, humble, opinion, and said in love and with the utmost respect for you and your personal blog space. :)

About Tori's jammies - I actually think that's a GREAT idea!! I think it's being resourceful and thrifty. I might have to recommend it to friends.

[marion]

42.

I believe the latest statement from the Yale student is that she did inseminate herself, take herbal abortificants, experience cramping and the expelling of blood, and use that blood in her art...but that she never took a pregnancy test and thus has no way of knowing if she was *ever* pregnant. I personally have a hard time believing that she could make her impregnations and abortions run like clockwork using only her own skills plus some herbs, and think that she was dealing in menstrual blood rather than in actual aborted tissue (assuming she's telling the truth), but maybe I'm being too cynical.

[Dramalish]

43.

I don't know, Cecily... I don't think it was hilarious. I can't get the humor angle at all; even as a hoax. And for me, it was less about whether she had the *right* to do that to her body (because male or female, we all have the right to do some incredible stupid and hurtful things to ourselves), and more about... ugh... more about... grief. And shock. And yuck.

And the stuff about the dog "art" makes me feel the same way.
-D.

[Robin]

44.

Do you have a kid's consignment shop near you? that or good will. We've been very lucky with hand me downs.

[julie]

45.

Great idea - we cut the feet off Dylan's PJ's when they get to small on him :)

[Victoria]

46.

Her "art" made me sad - such a violent thought process just to start a dialogue. Bleck.

PJs? My daughter sometimes sleeps in her swim suit. Seriously. Cut-off pjs would be a step towards "sanity" for us. =)

[Victoria]

47.

Her "art" made me sad - such a violent thought process just to start a dialogue. Bleck.

PJs? My daughter sometimes sleeps in her swim suit. Seriously. Cut-off pjs would be a step towards "sanity" for us. =)

[ls]

48.

tank top, cheap, from target or Old Navy. underwear or diaper. that's all. I met a man on Sat that has had migraines for many years and FINALLY rid himself of them through upping his serotonin levels naturally. I have a bunch of stuff he said written down adn I'll pass it along to you if you want. very interesting.

[JuliaKB]

49.

I haven't read the other comments (sorry, running way behind on everything), but my reaction to the story was that based on the reporting I was not convinced she knew what the mechanics of reproduction and miscarriage are. and while she has every right to do what the hell she wants, calling it things it's not is not so cool. Basic science for all is what I say. :)

[Kirsten B]

50.

Both those "art" projects disturbed me, to tell the truth. The one with the dog- well, I second the commenter who suggested he be locked up with a pack of wild dogs. That isn't art, that's just plain cruelty.

The first project- argh. No. Really, no. I've been fighting with myself over the issue of abortion for years, to tell the truth- I hate hate hate it, but I will FIGHT to keep it safe, legal and available to all women because I KNOW that it is right. That project pushed all my buttons, even after I read that it was a hoax. I didn't find it amusing in any way. And you were right, she is not helping.

(The thing about fighting with yourself is that although you win all the time, you also lose all the time).

On PJs, if the fabric isn't too hot, just cut the arms and legs and go for it. :)

[Antigone]

51.

Call me crazy, but her art project didn't bother me.