Stage Fright

Only time for a short post today. I'm madly trying to prepare myself for tonight's reading:

And yes, that was more shameless self promotion. Heh.

Truth be told, though, I am actually a nervous wreck. Thirteen or fourteen years ago, I gave readings at least once a month if not more often. Even ten years ago I read several times a year. But in the last five years I think I've read maybe three times at most. I wasn't all that worried about this reading until a Flickr friend posted some clips of the place I'm reading on his photostream which showed that the place we're performing is actually not a nice little coffee house but a club, and frankly, I am way too old and not nearly hip enough to be going to any damned clubs. So now I'm nervous and feeling sorry for myself. Heh.

For those that asked, I will bring the video camera (which makes me EVEN MORE NERVOUS) and give it to Sarah (who I have bullied into coming) and ask her to tape part of the night and then I will post it here, I promise. Probably just the poems part, though. I'm reading some blog entries, although I am not completely sure which ones yet. The ones I'm considering are here, here, and here  (I will definitely be reading the last one, I'm just not sure which of the first two I will choose). I'll also be reading something else that is not on the blog, plus a few poems. Not that any of you care. I'm just soothing myself here.

I'm sure I'll be just fine once I get started. But my tummy hurts now. Sigh. Now, what to wear...

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I know you are all wondering how I'm going to vote today. Lots of you have asked. Truth be told, I am still not 100% sure about anything EXCEPT that I will be voting. Right now, I'm about 75% in Obama's camp. Hillary has made me gag several times in the last few weeks (seriously, that "I first felt the touch of the Lord" speech made me want to throw up, not to mention the "my grandpappy taught me to shoot" bullshit), and that lying about Bosnia thing is pretty gross. But I didn't think Obama handled the attacks at the debate well (although I thought the debate was stupid, and I can hardly look at Charles Gibson now), and I have the same worries about him. But Hillary and Bill call our house about six times a day. SIX TIMES. That alone might be enough to make me vote for Obama. Plus, watching Hillary speak so easily of obliterating Iran--not because I think she'd actually do it, but because I think she'd say anything for votes--gave me chills. Also, Hillary has unleashed a slew of nasty, nasty negative ads against Obama here and they really stand out because he hasn't released a single negative ad about her--something I really respect him for (there have been a couple negative Hillary ads, but not by Obama).

But honestly, I won't know for sure what I'll do until I'm standing in the booth, holding up the line--to quote my buddy Jo. It's a tough year.  Mostly? I am just so fucking glad that today is the primary so that I don't have to see any more goddamned political ads for a while. THANK GOD.

Comments

[Melanie]

First things first: BREAK A LEG TONIGHT!!!! I wish I could be there to see you rock the mic. And I HATE poetry readings! ;)

Second, I totally came here wondering how you were going to vote. I've been in the Obama camp for a while now and have just been absolutely disgusted by how Clinton has behaved in recent weeks, and that debate was so ridiculous! Strangely enough, it seemed to have worked for Clinton's numbers! Gah.

I know you'll vote the way your heart tells you to. And I'll try to forgive you if you vote for Clinton. ;)

[Kristin]

Good luck! BTW, where exactly is the Bubble House? Not that I can come (alas), since I live about 7 hours away..but I used to live there. Like, at 36th and Chestnut, for a couple of years. Then out at 45th and Spruce for a couple few more. I used to enjoy the soup at LeBus and the people at Buck's County and the pricey but good hair at Saturn Club. Was very very active in graduate student activities and music ministry at one of the nearby churches. So I'm curious how the Bubble House tucks into what I remember. Is something not there any more?

Oh, and GOOD LUCK!

[Jo-Ann]

Good Luck tonight. I unfortunately will not be there. I worked last night and I am on 2 hours sleep. I know you will SHRED it. Show those youngin's how it is done

Dude I held up the line...........

I voted Obama, for most of the reasons you stated above. She has really turned me off lately. My idealistic feminist 1984 Geraldine Ferraro loving soul still roots for Hillary.

At my house Hillary, Barack, Bill and Michelle call me 6 times a day. Oh Joy!

[Annika]

If you're taking votes, I think "Take the Baby to Prison Day" would be spectacular for a reading.

[Catherine]

Good luck tonight!

I proudly cast my vote for Hillary this morning. It would be good if you could edit your post to reflect that she said we would attack Iran with overwhelming force IF THEY NUKED ISRAEL...which has been our foreign policy position for, oh, about 60 years. She was asked the question directly. She didn't evade. I respect that.

[Libby]

You will be fabulous tonight - try not to worry. I wish I could be there! Looking forward to the video.

HRC totally turned me off with the Grandpappy shooting touched by the Lord thing as well. It was just so transparent that she was trying to relate to the "common" folks. Blech.

[hilary]

In my world, Hilary and Cecily are sisters...but Hilary has one "L". My sister, Cecily, is voting for Obama though, despite my namesake :> Truth be told, she makes me cringe too...but less than Bush!

Good luck tonight!

[Ashley]

Good luck tonight!

I too was wondering how you'd vote. I switched my vote so many times it was ridiculous. I eventually settled on Chris Dodd, and he dropped out a few weeks later. I literally didn't decide who I was going to vote for (Obama) until probably February 4th.

[watercolor]

But your hair is marvelous! You will rock tonight!!! Go get 'em!!

[Ali]

Oh, I know, the Clintons can be gross. But can I in a very friendly way remind you of Obama's sexism? Think - the "claws", "periodically emotional", the reminder of Hillary's infamous "baking cookies" comment and framing Hillary's Clinton years having "teas". Not to mention Obama has shown himself to be a liar himself.

But I am starting to care less. They are both highly flawed but we gotta vote!

And OMG, good luck tonight! Another reason I wish I still lived in Philly. Wish I could be there!

[Mental P Mama]

Oh how I wish I lived in Philly. Except for the ad bombardment you all are enduring. Our primary was loooong ago. And, I am sick of them all. This has gone on way too long.

You are going to bring down the house tonight!

[Leta]

Well, I'm hoping PA goes for Obama for one reason and one reason alone: It will make him the undisputable front runner. And the longer this thing between HRC and BO drags out, the more John "Hundred Years" McCain has to gain.

[Dawn]

Good luck tonight, I know you're going to great! Looking forward to watching the clips.

[Ellen]

Good luck on both fronts! We'll be rooting for you!

[Melissa in TN]

One of my favorite posts you've ever written is "Miracles" (12/20/2007). I think that might be a blog post for another reading.

Good luck. I know you are both going to be great!!!

[Kerrie]

It won't matter a hoot what you wear, you have HAIR...!!!

Would love to come and hear you and Charlie read, but alas, Philly is a long way from Australia...will have to be content with the video.

[JuliaKB]

Best of luck today.

And this is exactly how I felt in February-- conflicted about voting, glad to be done, glad to have the campaign roll out of town.

[rachel]

Good luck tonight. I love the painted bride. So damn pretty. Yeah I am not sold on any politician. They all have made me sick one at least one occasion. Again have fun tonight.

[Jenni]

Good luck tonight (although I doubt you need it with your strong voice and too cool for school hair!)

While I am curious who you vote for all it matters really is you're on the right side on November, so good on you!

Both of their policies are good, I just think Obama is what we need to inspire an otherwise sad country. But Clinton has good ideas too. Dear God just not McCain!

[Foster]

Thats funny that you get so many calls for Hillary. I, too, live in PA and get at least 3 per day for Obama and have gotten exactly one in total for Hillary. Hmm..

[jeanie]

Hey there - go awesomely tonight!! You have the same profile as me regarding the poetry scene, it seems. You WILL get that buzz back the moment you stand up on stage, I am sure.

[Dawn]

Funny, I live a little further out in the suburbs than you, and in a 3 hour span today, I got two calls for Obama (a live person asking aggressively for money and a robocall from Michelle Obama) and two Obama volunteers separately came to my door. Crazy. Hillary's people called once, and were very nice. I voted for her, but will vote for whichever one wins in November.

Hope the reading went well. Couldn't make it - husband away for work.

[Kirsten B]

Break a leg!

Actually, considering the time difference, wrong tense! I hope it went really well. And your hair looks *fabulous*!

I hear you on the ads. Every time we have an election, either State or Federal, we have to suffer through months and months of bloody ads. It gets to the point where I scream if another ad comes on, even if it's for the party I'm voting for.
So does this mean that there'll be a break for a while and then the election for president will start, and everyone will be snowed under with more ads?

Looking forward to the poetry video! :)

[jenn]

Dang, got here too late to wish you luck. So, how'd it go? I'm anxiously awaiting your video post!

[Jen]

I don't live in PA, and was disappointed with the result last night.

I, too, was very uncomfortable with her saying "we would be able to totally obliterate them" in regards to Iran. I don't care what it was in reference to or in response to, it sound far too cold and callous and Bush-like for me.