Stuff I Am Not Going To Talk About

Hello! It's sunny out after a day of non-stop wind and rain. Tori is at morning care, after being trapped in the house with her all day yesterday--boy was that fun! Somehow, I managed to get caught up on work anyway. Imagine that.

But I say all that because I don't want to talk about stuff that's really going on. Particularly anything to do with food and weight. Nope, don't want to discuss it.

I don't want to talk about the fact that a chair broke under me--again--at a meeting today. It was only a little broken, and I was able to hide it during the meeting (it's not like that time I broke a camping chair and collapsed into a big pile on the ground). And maybe it's just a cheap folding chair, and was already broken, or close to it, before I sat down in it. I don't know, but I'm not going to talk about it.

I'm also not going to talk about watching a video blog post I recorded about this time last year, and how much thinner I looked then, even though I didn't weigh all that much less. But I was doing that point-counting diet at that time, and I didn't have the eating-whatever-I-want face bloat. I most definitely don't want to talk about the fact that I haven't recorded a video blog post recently because when I do, and then I watch it, I really hate how I look--so I never post it. Definitely going to avoid discussing that.

I don't want to talk about buying new shorts for the summer because the pair I wore most of last summer is just a little bit too tight, and is therefore uncomfortable. Nope. Absolutely will not be going into that.

I'm not going to address how I feel like a Healthy At Every Size (HAES) failure because I decided over the weekend that no matter how much self-love I practice, and how much I try and try to accept my body as it is, that it really, truly is just unacceptable. I cannot live at this weight, I do not like it, and I want to change it.

So if I'm not going to talk about all that, then I guess I won't be admitting that I've decided to try that oldest diet of them all--counting calories. It's been at least a decade since I counted calories, but it really is the simplest way to go, and allows me to utilize some nifty online tools that have developed so I can track the food I eat. Because if I talk about that, then you will all know I REALLY am a HAES failure because I'm practicing the D word--dieting.

And I guess I won't address the confusion I feel about the whole issue, and the rationalizations about food that fill my days--both while I diet and while I don't. Nor will I spend much time trying to understand why I feel like I'm treating my body better when I restrict and diet and exercise, instead of doing that intuitive eating thing that HAES recommends.

Since I'm not talking about any of that stuff, I can't talk about the fact that I am going to try to incorporate intuitive eating WHILE I count calories. Or the fact that I am allowing myself a generous daily calorie intake--just a few hundred calories less than is needed to maintain a body this size. Just enough to lose maybe a half a pound a week or so. Not much. Not a strict severe diet at all. But since counting calories doesn't forbid any certain foods, I am going to have to practice intuitive eating so that I can continue to eat in a sane way while controlling my volume. Because I certainly don't want to admit here that I can use up my whole daily calorie allotment with cheetos.

Nope. I am not going to talk about any of that stuff.

So what should I discuss instead? Hmmm... well, maybe I'll just direct you all to my latest post about Mommy Blogging over at Type-A Mom. Cause it sure is quiet around here.