BlogHer '08: The Still-Too-Tired Initial Recap

I have so much I want to write about this weekend. First off, weekend? Maybe it was the whole not-sleeping thing, but I feel like this event lasted for five or six days, not just two. There were so many amazing moments, and so many great people. I think I'm going to publish a list of everyone I met at BlogHer at some point, you know, when I have time. I want to review every single blog and send emails to every single person in the two-inch high pile of business cards I have to go through. My bloglines account is going to catch fire, I think.

The best news is that I actually got much, much more than I could have possibly hoped for out of the weekend.

No matter how small your blog is, BlogHer has something to offer you. I cannot describe the energy and atmosphere of the convention without sounding like a smitten teenager; it was unbelievable. There was just something about being surrounded by so many women, and so many people who live part of their life on the internet. Do you know how awesome it was to never have to apologize for opening my laptop and starting to type while talking to someone? I didn't realize that at home I'm always saying sorry for cracking open the laptop to check my email.

I've also never been to a convention that had tables at every panel presentation so that you could type while listening. I never intended to live blog the events, but since I could, it seemed so natural. Plus, I was so dizzy and giddy with excitement that I couldn't WAIT to share it all with you.

Amazing things have come out of this convention for me. All of them surprised me, and were totally different than what I thought I was going for. Maybe I need to tell you what I hoped to get before I share with you what I actually got; I was expecting to schmooze the bigwigs, try to find ways to get them to link to my blog, and also meet and greet those that want to hire bloggers to write for them. I thought I might also meet some folks in the book publishing industry to put out feelers about how I want to write a book (as if there weren't 1,200 other bloggers there all wishing for the same thing).

But what I got was totally different.

First off, I got totally re-inspired about blogging itself. I'm not sure I even knew that I was perhaps a bit burned out. I know that I often feel tired and overwhelmed about needing to post, and sometimes just want to go about my day without considering how it would translate into an entry. But going to BlogHer reminded me of what--for me--is one of the major reasons I blog. Sure, I do it for myself, to have an outlet for my thoughts and to purge my demons. But I also do it because people read it and tell me that what I have to say matters to them. And while 10,000 emails can sure make me feel good, having a reader greet me and give me a great big hug and tell me that I inspired them to start blogging too? THAT is awesome. Meeting people that read my blog made my heart sing, and made it just feel more fucking real (if that makes any sense). I'm not just a blogger; I'm part of a community of bloggers and readers. I am not alone.

Secondly, I got a new career idea. I briefly mentioned it while I was live-blogging the Commercial Momosphere panel; it came from listening to bloggers and publicity people talking there. Basically, bloggers complain that publicity people send them generic emails (one panelist described it as "insert name here") asking them to review their products. I've gotten them too (but not as many as some, apparently). Publicists claim that they try, and that they in fact do have people that spend the day reading blogs and helping to craft pitches. A light bulb went off for me then; I have ten plus years of public relations experience; maybe I should stop trying to get paid to WRITE a blog and instead get paid to READ them and use my PR past experience to help reach out to bloggers. It can't hurt that I'm already familiar with them, eh? I have some folks to contact, and some work to do, but I might be able to do something along the lines of becoming a blogger consultant. AWESOME. Feel free to steal the idea. I know I would.

Thirdly, I'm not sure if it was the energy of the place or what, but the thing that has held me back from writing a book has always been that I didn't know what exactly I would write. Well, I do now. I have an idea, a title, and know exactly how to start the first chapter. I know, I can't believe it either. I'm going to try to put that together, then put together a proposal, and then start trying to find an (gulp) agent. Any agents reading? Heh. I'm going to keep the details to myself for now, because I don't want to spill the beans, but I'm very fucking excited.

Lastly, I learned something I didn't expect. I learned that I do NOT want to become a famous blogger.

One of the biggest joys for me at the convention was some of the unexpected moments. For instance, I ended up talking for over an hour with this young woman (who had, I believe, the cutest baby at the convention--although that would be a tall order, there was some DAMN cute babies there). Her story is fascinating and compelling (I won't go into it here; a lot of what we talked about is not in her blog yet and is not my story to tell, but suffice it to say that I'd suggest you keep an eye on her blog). She made me cry, and even more amazing, riveted me to my seat so completely that I totally forgot that I desperately needed to pee when we first started talking.

We had an incredible intimate conversation. Also? She doesn't know me, or know my blog. She had no idea who I was. We talked just as women, as mothers, and as folks on different spots on the infertility spectrum. We built a little bridge between us in a quiet corner.

I watched the more well-known bloggers at this convention. I watched them stay to the sidelines with their friends, trying to have conversations, and constantly get interrupted by fans. I watched Heather of Dooce choose to stay at a different hotel completely so as to avoid the mob (I only know this because she was at our hotel and Sarah--the lucky bitch--met her and her husband in the elevator). I don't think any of them got to experience the giddy joy of just walking around talking to strangers freely. And frankly? That would SUCK.

I don't want to assume I know anything about Heather's true inner personal life--and I shouldn't, judging by what she said when she spoke at Saturday's keynote panel. But if she's anything like me, it's got to be very weird and awkward and strange to have so many people be so fucking sure that they KNOW her. To have so many people want to touch her, to hug her, and to tell her they love her. I mean, I have no where near the level of fame she does, and it felt weird to me when the dozen-or-so strangers that came up to me at the convention did that (by strangers, I mean that they neither comment nor email me, so I had no idea who they were). I've read her blog for almost five years, and I've watched her become more private over that time, less willing to do what they called at BlogHer "naked" blogging. Sure, she's been compensated for her blog, but she's lost a great deal too.

I am a "naked" blogger; when Heather said that she doesn't blog about 95% of her life, I thought, wow: I am the total opposite. I don't blog about more like 5%. I really do put it all out here. And I don't want to take that back, you know? In other words, so what if I don't have a million readers a month (or the ad revenue that comes with it)? I have a great resource here with this blog, and a great relationship with my readers, and I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Um, but that doesn't mean I'm taking down my ads or anything. I'm not CRAZY.

Anyway, I feel--thanks to BlogHer--filled up. Brimming with energy, excitement, and enthusiasm. Blogging means more to me than ever, and BlogHer actually clarified my relationship to blogging in ways I didn't expect. It's like blogging and I went to dinner and has a long talk about our relationship and then came home to have hot, hot sex. Yep. That's just what a it did for me. This post is the after-sex cigarette.

Thank you all, again, for making the trip possible. And honestly, I highly recommend that you consider going next year, no matter how small you think your blog is. After all, the conference was NOT about the famous bloggers--not at all. It was about all of us, the bread and butter bloggers who fill the blogosphere with our thoughts and hopes and dreams and fears. It wasn't perfect (I'll probably blog later about some of the shortcomings of the conference, like how women without children felt a bit sidelined or how completely and utterly OFF some of the approaches from the sponsors were, or how annoyingly tiny the names of blogs were on the name tags), but it was really, really rewarding. Plus, San Francisco (where I expect it will be again next year, which I think is stupid, but whatever) is an AWESOME place to get away from summer. Man, it was like perfect fall weather there. Coming home to Philly's humid soup would totally suck if it didn't include Tori. Heh.

I'm off to take Tori to her well-child checkup. I know I'll write more tomorrow. I can't stop now!

Comments

[JanScholl]

I hate to do this but I have to unsub from your blog from reader. It is just too much time and horrible internet to keep having to click thru to over 800 blogs. I may check back if I remember and maybe you will go full feed.

[Elizabeth]

I just wanted to say that you perfectly captured a lot of what happened for me too - what I felt like I "needed to do" going into Blogher was so different from what actually happened, but in a very good way.
And hopefully next year I will be feeling a bit more brave, and at this time next year I'll be writing about meeting you and how you are even more awesome in person than you are on your blog.

[Elena]

It sounds truly awesome!

[jenn]

I've never even considered going to BlogHer; my blog is just a small, private one I started recently for family and friends....but you've got me seriously considering it for next year! It sounds like an amazing experience.

I think that being a PR consultant sounds like a wonderful fit for you. And I've ALWAYS thought you should write a book. Get on it!! Don't let the inspiration start to fizzle...start writing.

One of the best writing tips I've ever read, and the one that keeps me writing no matter what, is to think of writing as "laying track." Don't worry about only putting polished phrases down on paper. Just get it on paper. Once it's there, you can fiddle to your heart's content. Some of my best work has come out when I just let go and don't judge.

YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT! And I'll be one of the first in line at Barnes and Noble when it comes out. :)

[Kayce]

Thank you so much for blogging about your experiences at BlogHer. I've never gone and don't know that I ever will, but reading about your experiences there was probably more inspiring than going myself. You see, to me (and probably many of us), you ARE one of the famous bloggers. To watch you fawn over other even more famous bloggers the same way I would have (would have wanted to anyway) reminds me that all of us are really just people behind our blogs after all, regardless of how popular our blogs are or how well-written they are. It's neat to see how exciting everything was for you and to get such a heartfelt recap from you. I hope you get to go next year, and who knows...maybe, just maybe, you'll see me there.

[Hazel]

I've been really inspired by reading about your experience at BlogHer. Yours was the most detailed I've found so far in my list of blogs and I've enjoyed reading it so much. At the same time I have been battling with whether I want to put my life online (that 95%/5% thing - I think I blog 5%) or keep it to myself in a journal.

I worry that if I switched that percentage, people would get even more bored (I don't have a great readership at the moment) or maybe I would find new people.

I'd love your advice. Maybe you could set up a blog consultancy along with that PR consultancy and help us confused bloggers out!

[Veronika]

Thank you so much for documenting your trip. I thought I had no interest in attending, but now I think I'll keep it in mind. Sounds like a great experience.

[Chickenpig]

I'm so glad you had a great time at Blogher! You sound energized, and happy, and inspired...all at the same time. I can't wait to read more posts about it. All your heart is in this post, and if you can do that in a blog, then your book is going to be amazing! I can hear your voice, if you know what I mean. If I went to Blogher I would be seeking YOU, so watch out :)

[sheilah]

I have never considered going to BlogHer either. My blog is so far down on the Z-list that it is almost not even there (although I have been blogging since 2004). I always thought I would be the fat little girl with her face pressed to the glass just hoping someone would acknowlege her existence.

Maybe I could get excited about it again.

[Chiara]

This is all so cool - you know, you are totally radiant in all those pictures!

[sherry]

Had to delurk to say it is just SO great to hear you sound so jazzed again!

Awesome - I've really loved reading these BlogHer posts....

[Kim]

I am so glad this was all you had hoped for. Your recap describes your experience and your enthusiasm in such an amazing way. I would have been one of the dorks wanting to meet you. In fact, I live in the area and was in SF on Saturday night and was keeping my eye out for the pink hair.

Your "naked" blogging is why we read you every single day. And you truly did inspire me to write my own blog. Thank you for continuing to do that everyday.

[Sarah]

I was hardly there, and read along while you live blogged on Friday, and I was totally inspired. It seems like you and Blogging also made some sort of committment to eachotehr, like you are now engaged, not just in a long term relationship.
I think your PR career idea is faboo, and you know I will want an autographed copy of your book.

[Rayne of Terror]

I called my twin tonight and said, I totally forgot to tell you to hunt down one of the bloggers I read, and when I said your name she said you found her and introduced yourself. So groovy. I really wanted you to meet @leahjones aka accidentally jewish and you did.

[JuliaKB]

I can't wait for that book. Hear that, agents?

[Abigail]

Glad you had a great time and hope it brings you opportunities.

But we're going to have to agree to disagree wrt Dooce. Her fans make her lifestyle possible, and her lack of graciousness is not flattering. Blogher is "on the clock" time for her. Dooce needs to suck it up and deal or not go.

[Clover]

Wow- very exciting book idea. Maybe we could do a mini-BlogHer here. Instead of one of Menita's Blorgy's, we could actually get serious and try to brainstorm ways to stay invigorated when we get the blogslumps. And I love the idea of getting paid to read blogs all day and find out which products would do best with which bloggers. Perfect.

[Ashley]

And now you've got me thinking about blogging, my blog's relation to my life, what I want it to be, and all that.

I learned blogging on livejournal, and the free form type as I think style still prevails on my infertility blog. Now I'm trying to convince myself to actually put effort into my writing.

Well, that and I'm trying to write my first book. Meaning I haven't written a word, but I will tomorrow, right?

Maybe, depending on where my life is, I'll go to blogher next year. I need an excuse to see San Francisco anyways.

[Coral]

I am so, so pleased you had a great time, after last week's butterflies!!

I am also so pleased you are so enthusiastic about all your ideas - Go, Cecily, Go!!!

[wndl]

hey cecily, thanks sooooo much for all your live posts from blogher! they were a joy to read. i chuckled when you mentioned the person that had been reading since before you changed the name, as it seems like that was forever ago, but it was just last oct/nov! i suppose that's a long time in blog land. :-D

[Sandy]

I've been MIA from the blogsphere for a while, so really enjoyed your live blogging. I actually got lured over from your facebook updates! I'd see one and it would intrigue me so over I'd come to read what was up....

I'm not ready to go back to blogging. I look at the blog that I had for the infertility and miscarriage journey and feel like I was an entirely different woman from who I am today. I don't know if I'm ready to write about it all.

But I do know that I'd buy a book that you wrote!

[ll]

Fantastic, it sounds amazing. I so enjoyed your updates. I look forward to reading the fruits of your re-energisation (is that a word?)

[Rachel]

Yay! I'm glad you had such a great, fulfilling experience. I'd love to see San Francisco as well, esp. now (I'm not far from you, in the DC area.) You've inspired me to renew a blog of my own. Cheers!

[Ellen]

I am so happy for you! That is completely awesome - the book idea and the job idea and the hot hot sex experience. Awesome. :)

[Amalah]

It was SOOOO great to meet you -- I felt like such a social bonehead for not realizing I was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, assuming you were some punk-rock intellectual feminist blogger instead of, you know, one of us braindead mommybloggers. And then you introduced yourself and I screamed in your face. As always, I am Grace and Dignity personified.

[Mental P Mama]

Sounds so fantastic...and your energy is infectious! I hope Tori's checkup was uneventful! You have inspired me to do some more thinking as well...

[Cheryl]

I always wondered, and maybe you can answer this for me, if there is a place at BlogHer for people who don't blog about issues directly related to women. I blog about typewriters which is kind of odd, and usually attracts more men than women, so I wonder if I would be standing there in a sea of mom-bloggers feeling like a twit.

Also, I've always been a little phobic of girl-cliques, based on a long history of getting my ass kicked in school. Is it kind of like the grown-up equivalent? Do you pretty much have to be an extrovert to get anything out of the conference?

I may be answering my own questions here :-)

Thanks for your recap(s). If I had been there I definitely would have come up to say hi!

[melissa]

I'll buy the book! Very happy that you found it so fulfilling and inspiring at the same time.

[Mel]

You know that meeting you face-to-face was one of my high points.

I think you said it best when you said there was something for everyone there. I picked a track that worked for me and others picked a track that worked for them and everyone went home energized. It was my first conference and I didn't know what to expect at all. And I went home so happy with the people I met and the ideas I heard.

I totally think you should become a blogger consultant. AND let me know if you need any help with the book stuff. My brain is yours to pick insofar as the agent stuff. You can pick other things too, but that's probably the best thing I can bring to the table right now :-)

[Jen]

Love it! Congrats on of your inspiration. You go!!

[birdie]

I am not a huge commenter but somehow, I have lots to say on this one!
1) I am so glad you were inspired and had such a wonderful time. I am also glad you chose to share it with us the way you did, because I caught a little breath of inspiration just reading your posts.
2) For the record, your blog is a major reason I have been working on my own. I admire your "nakedness" and the intimate nature of your blog makes it a joy to check daily. (OK, maybe a few times daily).
3) That job idea sounds fucking rad.

Anyway, keep up the wonderful work.

[roro]

Hey Cecily! It was such a pleasure to meet you at the BFD meet-up! I'm wearing your Rosie the Riveter tattoo on my boob, just like you told me too.

Fantastic that you had such a great experience at BlogHer. I think your PR blogger outreach idea is terrific - you'd be aces at it. Looking forward to following your adventures!

[watercolor]

Perfect! :)

[lynne]

I am glad you have come back all fired up and enthused. From reading other people's sites it appears many women have had carthartic experiences from Blogher it sounds like a good experience. Good luck with the idea of being a PR consultant and writing a book, you've got the talent.

[ali]

i SO would never want to be a famous blogger either. it's way too much work. i don't envy any of the big ones..i would hate not being able to just sit and have a conversation ;)

[sizzle]

When Heather said that about the 10% of her life is on the blog I thought the same thing- I am REALLY out there. I also learned that I would NOT want to be a famous blogger. Too much pressure.

[Laptop Television Mom]

Hi there -- it was great to meet you in the Sesame Street Suite at BlogHer.

You know what I learned at BlogHer? No matter our religious views, political affiliations or sexual orientation... we all covet some time with Grover.

And I totally appreciate your attitude and honesty!

-- LTV Mom