Uppercase Woman

Voter Intimidation

Dudes. I am TIRED. BlogHer DC done wore me out. OK, maybe it was the whole not sleeping the night before, or the long drive home after a full day, or the whole missing-Tori-so-much-I-ached, and not the eight hours of the conference itself. But whatever. TIRED, TIRED, TIRED.

But it's Tuesday! And I should post!

First, a short wrap-up of BlogHer DC. It was, as per usual (heh--cause I've been to TWO WHOLE EVENTS), beautifully organized, smartly set up, and educational. Plus the food ROCKED (seriously, best fish I've ever eaten was served at lunch). There were two tracks for sessions: beginning blogging, and using blogging to build community and change the world. Sadly, neither track really hit me where I lived; I feel like we already have a pretty awesome community here and I don't want to get MORE political (kind of feel like I've got that covered). But I still got a lot out of it, and I loved meeting other bloggers. Also, interestingly, there were far more women of color at this event than at the national one. Which rocked. Plus, LESLEY STAHL in the closing keynote. She was awesome (she blew me away when she said she would never have believed, back in 1972 when she got hired to do TV news, that in 2008 we'd STILL be discussing the glass ceiling and awaiting the first female President). I had a great time. Also, they will be announcing the city for 2009 by the end of the month. Go PHILLY!

Man, I just proofread that paragraph and realized I missed lots of words. Sigh. TIRED.

Anyway, moving on to what I mentioned in the title of the post. Voter intimidation. Yep, it's happening. Here in Philadelphia, an anonymous flier was distributed at colleges and poor neighborhoods saying that if you show up to vote, officials will be laying in wait for anyone with a foreclosure, parking tickets, or a warrant. I wonder who could be behind such an insidious flier? Let's see... they targeted college students and poor people who tend to vote... right. For the Democrats.

No, I'm not saying it was designed and handed out by the local Republican party. But with Obama's campaign having to file suit to prevent the Republican party in Michigan from using records of foreclosure to prevent people from voting, or the fact that the Supreme Court said that in fact states CAN require photo ID to vote, I do find myself beginning to wonder.

How about you? Has there been any efforts like these to intimidate voters in your state? I'd love to hear from Republicans that have also been harassed in this way. Do tell. I'll go nap, and read all about it when I get up. Heh.

BlogHer DC: Blogging Basics

Seriously, y'all are like, "why is she at that panel?" Well, because I kind of blogged accidentally, I'm interested in what I've done right, and what wrong. We shall see.

Speakers are Laurie, Karen, and Debbie. Interesting; one is like me, got into writing professionally thanks to blogging. One is a reformed lawyer and lobbyist (great stories about why she blogs). Last one was a journalist and now does blog stuff and social media stuff (she's also very happy to be on an all-women panel with two women over 50). Debbie talking about leaving a "deep digital trail." Also doesn't believe in SEO, says you just have to write well.

Discussing "blog legacy." Talking about unifying names and sign ins. Also talking about how blogging personally can impact you professionally; interesting point. Guess I won't be getting any Republican clients. Heh. Now discussing look of blog, and how it should "feel like home."

Now discussing setting boundaries; what won't you talk about on your blog? She said sex & money, and I have to agree. I discuss money broadly, and maybe touch on sex a bit but not too much. Debbie is saying not to discuss politics. Whoops. Talking about permanent, digital footprints declaring your positions. I'm proud of my positions, and would not change a word. Another panelist discussing not talking about politics, not naming her niece when she posts her photo, etc. I disagree. Oh, now she's saying that she is discussing the politics of the day and has found it liberating.

Really breaks down to personal vs. professional blogging.

Now talking about Twitter--apparently, each twit has it's own URL. Wow. Talking about twitter overload. LOL.

Have to say, weird having blogging experts on panel that haven't been blogging long.

Now discussing how to remain anonymous. No longer true for me.

Oh, good question about whether or not your stats are reflected when you post a full feed to feed readers. NO. That's why I do a partial feed, even if it annoys you--because when you have to come to my actual page, my ad revenue goes up. Sorry, folks. :)

Oh my god, so need this panel to end so I can pee. Heh.

Trademark your domain--interesting idea. I do need to do that.

Now saying post titles need to be really good. Sigh. I do sucky post titles.

Talking about the best way to generate discussion in comments: ask a question? Duh. :)

Now asking about how to deal with comments--do you respond, or ignore? Well, y'all know what I do. :)

Wrapping up. Off to lunch!

BlogHer DC: Liveblogging

Good morning! I'm going to liveblog today's events, because then I don't have to come up with another topic. Heh. Starting off at opening keynote.

Lots of newbies at this conference: 2/3 never at a BlogHer again. Everyone wants to learn how to "grow their blog."

Now we're talking about the swag--GM has cars here for us to go on test drives with (the Saturn line). Wonder if they have a hybrid? That would be fun. Sarah and I entered every single drawing. Hoping to win super cool square LG phone. Wish us luck.

Rumors floating about that they will be announcing BlogHer '09 location soon. Don't think it will be here today, however.

Now discussing survey BlogHer did in March. Results? Blogs are mainstream and totally addictive. DUH.

53% of women read blogs. 85% Generation Y, 66% Gen X (woot!), and 41% Boomers. Almost the as photo sharing.

Blogging is a daily part of life for those involved. 20% are spending less time using radio, TV, newspapers and magazines (yep). 43% of BlogHer Network readers give up TV to read blogs.

Neilsen reported that 10% of Morning Talk Show viewers dumped TV for Mommy Blogs. Ha!

Blogs are highly trusted, both for new information and advice. Interesting. Do y'all trust me? :)

Blogs are seriously influencing purchase decisions. 64%. Wow.

Blogging represents evolution of power for women. Maybe a stretch, but I hear ya.

Interesting; because we no longer trust institutions--media, government, health care, big business... Blogs present an opportunity to build community and trust. :)

Uh oh. They are going to make us do a "speed dating thing." Sarah is threatening to hide under the table.

Oh lordy. That was exhausting. Off the next panel.

So, THIS will REALLY be the last post about you-know-what (oh, and I talk about God too)

This morning at my recovery meeting (the one I oh-so-reluctantly dragged my ass out of bed for) the topic was, as it often is, God. But not like the usual, "God is AWESOME and that's why I'm sober/sane/no longer codependent" (really depends what flavor of meeting I go to which of those things God is credited for). No, here they were discussing how a belief in a higher power can give you back the peace of mind you lost by practicing whatever behavior you are attending the meeting for.

OK, I'm going to pause for a moment to try to explain my vagueness. If I were still anonymous on this blog like I was back in the very beginning--before the press started asking for my real name (OK, two reporters asked; I'm not THAT famous)--I could be super specific about what kind of meetings I go to and what we talk about. But since you all know I live in Philadelphia, and my name is Cecily, and I'm not the local weather forecaster by the same name, it would take about two seconds on Google to find my address. The address half of you have already because you've sent gifts to Tori (and me). So because I am NOT anonymous here, I have to be vague about my recovery because while there aren't any "rules" per say, there are certain--oh, let's call them traditions--that I need to honor. And one of them is not mentioning by name the organizations (I go to more than one!) that help me stay sane and sober. Admittedly, the line is painfully thin, but it's one I try hard not to cross (and I ask you not to do so in the comments either; I've edited a couple of comments in the past--with the writer's permission--for just that reason. Also, I do NOT have to be vague in private emails as that is between two individuals).

So, anyway, I was listening to the speaker this morning while feeling all my usual feelings about God (you know, how God's an asshole, that sort of thing). The speaker is someone I like because she reminds me of, well, me--she has to fight her instincts to take over and be in charge of everything. But I didn't know that she is also a holocaust survivor. When I think about how easily my faith in God was shattered by losing the twins, fuck--I've got NOTHING on the faith-shaking that a holocaust survivor must suffer. As she talked about how she's managed to come back to God--trusting that God will take care of her addict son, and that she can't--I found myself thinking about how much more open I am to having God in my life than I was three years ago. While both infertility and pregnancy loss may have turned me away from God, I am more willing then ever to turn to a higher power today.

How does this relate to BlogHer? Well, I don't think I realized this until I heard this woman speaking today, but I did a classic "giving it to God" step before getting on the plane. I managed to leave several things at home that I didn't need to bring to BlogHer: my insecurities, my self-centered fear, my combativeness and defensiveness, and most of all, my jabbering fucking mouth and it's remarkable ability to lead me down the road of self-sabotage.

Before I left, I said to both Charlie and Sarah that no matter what, I did NOT want to come back from the BlogHer convention as the "one" who said that "thing" that everyone is blogging about. Put me in a room of women--women thinner than I am, prettier than I am, better writers than I am--and toss in a bunch of those women drinking alcohol while I can't and just like that, you have a recipe for angry, defensive Cecily. The Cecily that makes "hilarious" viscous and snarky comments to--and about--other people. I so much wanted to work on practicing "restraint of pen and tongue" while I was there. Because I can be a damn fool, people, and I can torpedo my own goals without breaking a sweat (ask me sometime about the wonderful blogger who's feelings I hurt back in 2004 and stopped talking to me. I still miss emailing her, thanks to my stupidity at the time. And my pain. But mostly my stupidity).

As a result, I was able to spot Stephanie Klein (the other closing keynote speaker besides Dooce) and say hello, engage her in conversation, and LISTEN to what she had to say to me (OK, Sarah spotted her, but I did the rest). Because she talked to me about staying open--not reaching toward things so much as letting them find you--I was able to hear what folks were saying during the panels and glean a possible new career path. I got to meet Stephanie as she is--a funny, irreverent mom of twins that has dealt with some serious shit (how she survived her son's brain surgery is beyond me) and not spend the whole time thinking stupid things like "she's so famous, why is she talking to me?" and "Oh my God, they're making a TV show out of her book that came out of her blog" and "damn, her hair is awesome, I'm so jealous" (OK, maybe I did think that one). We were able to just talk about mothering, and writing, and how nerve wracking new people and gatherings like BlogHer can be. AND she was sweet to Sarah about photography too. AND SHE'S TOTALLY FUCKING SUPER FAMOUS!

I don't want to admit it, but it's because of a higher power that I got jack shit out of this conference, never mind the treasure trove of awesomeness that I did (yeah, BlogHer folks--I just called the conference a TREASURE TROVE OF AWESOMENESS because I am that good with words). Even though I still don't trust God particularly, I am at least able to set aside my resentment against God long even to use the spiritual tools I've learned in recovery and take what I need from an event like BlogHer and leave the rest.

So what did I gain by leaving all that shit behind? Well, I didn't spend a whole lot of time feeling bad about the parties I didn't get invited to (I know they were happening, because people would mention them all the time but then get vague on the "where" and "when"; special thanks to The Bloggess who mentioned just that thing in her blog before the conference). I was able to sit at the Friday night keynote and actually listen to all the readers without feeling like I should have been on the stage (oh yes, I AM that kind of asshole); and I'm so grateful about that because I have a new blogging hero; Lesbian Dad read this piece during that keynote and it made me weep--not just because of the content but because it's such damned fine writing (further proof to me that the best memoir writing in the world is happening right now in blogs, damn it). I was able to walk up to people like Alice and hand them a napkin and introduce myself, without worrying a lot about rejection (almost every single person I met was generous to a fault; there is only one blogger that was rude to me and I think she was just tired and NO I will NOT tell you who because I am becoming a better person, one that does not gossip--much). I was able to meet Amy and be shocked that not only was she nice, but she was excited to see ME--and even better, I was able to not gloat too much about that fact (OK, maybe just a little, but only to Sarah).

In other words, by only the grace of something bigger than me, I was able to NOT BE AN ASSHOLE AND ENJOY MYSELF. And you may think that's not unusual, but seriously? It totally is.

Many of you asked about the final keynote with Dooce and Stephanie Klein. It was highly entertaining--the theme was "Living the Truman Show" and they both talked about what it's like to live life so publicly on the web. Dooce mentioned that she only blogs about 10% of her life, which surprises me because I don't think that was true when I first started reading her blog five years ago. But I understand why--she gets death threats constantly, threats to her family, her dogs, her home--I can't imagine. I'd want to retreat a bit too. I didn't hear everything said because I ended up explaining to about half our table who "this Dooce person" was (yes, there are bloggers that have never read her blog--weird, huh?) and then who "this Stephanie person" was. They really had no idea. Eventually they started google-ing and I was able to listen. For a long, long time the person wielding the audience mic was standing right next to me and I tried, desperately, to come up with something to say. But everything I thought of was all "look at me and read my blog and please for the love of fucking God LINK TO ME SO I GET FAMOUS" so, after wise council from Sarah, I kept my mouth SHUT. NOT THAT THE OTHER BLOGGERS ASKING QUESTIONS WERE SAYING THAT. It's just what would have come out of MY mouth.

There was a kerfuffle that was a bit odd on all counts. I don't want to write about it because I felt about it one way initially and now feel completely differently (my discomfort with people who are or appear drunk because of my own alcoholism colored my initial impression; I'm not claiming anyone ELSE is a drunk, just that I am. Why it makes me uncomfortable, I don't know--it's not like I can "catch" alcoholism, a disease I already fucking have). If you want to read a fair approximation of my feelings about it (although I'm not quite as hard on Dooce as she is), check out Gwendomama (who was totally awesome all weekend rocking the microphone at the panels and was super sweet to me and OH MY GOD I can't believe she's able to do all that after losing a 13-month-old son).

All in all, that weirdness was NOTHING compared to the bizarre and moderately sexist closing reception which was held at MACY'S. Seriously. Like, hey! You're women! You'll buy ridiculously expensive ugly bags/shoes/lingerie just because we shove you wall-to-wall in those departments and get you drunk (the first floor--bags--also offered NO non-alcoholic alternatives. The fermented lemonade they offered was BOOZY. I was mad about that for two hours because I was SO FUCKING THIRSTY). That party, my friends, was truly bizarre. Blessedly, the final portion of the party was in the furniture section so that we finally got to sit the fuck down. Proof of me doing just that is in the final photo on I Am Bossy's entry about the party (thanks, Sheri, for the heads up about the photo).

But moving away from the final keynote, and back to what I was talking about (me! I was talking about me!), I guess what I'm saying is that with each passing day since I lost the boys, I'm finding it easier and easier to be at peace with God. I may never trust God directly, but I do trust the people that the universe puts in my path. And those folks have taught me more about setting the bad stuff aside and plunging forward than I ever dreamed possible. Because of that grace, BlogHer was wonderful for me. Because of that openness, I feel much less scared about the future. Because of that love, I was able to feel joy and happiness throughout. What more could a person ask for?

So, Cecily, what was the down side?

I promise this is my LAST BlogHer post. But several folks have asked me if there were any problems with the conference, and I have to admit that there were some issues. Mostly minor, but still.

First and foremost; what the FUCK with the name tags? Blog names were SO TINY on the name tags that you had to bury your face in another woman's breasts to be able to find out her blog name. And since so many folks go by pseudonyms, having real names on the tags was utterly unhelpful. I'd prefer big and bold blog names and smaller real/pseudonyms. In fact, maybe we should all be able to have a screen shot of our blogs as a name tag--that would have been MUCH better, since I'm so visually cued to blogs.

Secondly--again, a personal rant--why did they have to schedule THREE panels at the same time that I desperately wanted to go to? On Saturday afternoon the Infertility panel (or ALI panel-- adoption/loss/infertility) was at the same time as the "Blog-To-Book" panel AND the "Blogging As A Healing force" panel. Personally, I can see right away that there is a HUGE FUCKING CHANCE that the ALI community might also want to attend the "Blogging As A Healing Force" panel, but what do I know?

Thirdly--and this is the last personal rant, I swear--why on EARTH were the cocktail parties all at 6pm, IMMEDIATELY following the day's keynote? At first I thought they scheduled it that way to allow women with children there to attend, but the first party was at a club with music so deafeningly loud there was no way kids would survive (there were a couple kiddos there, one trying hard to dance, but still--not kid friendly). I would have vastly preferred an hour to go freshen up or relax, or maybe two hours to grab dinner with some friends I met and also, you know, see San Francisco. I appreciate the fact that they fed us at the event (remarkably good food too, I admit), but I really would have preferred a break.

In case someone from BlogHer reads this, I do think you guys did an AWESOME job overall. The only reason I feel comfortable nitpicking like this is because I have thrown a similar conference here in Philadelphia, only everyone that attended was a recovering drunk (you might think that means they would be better behaved, but I assure you, it does NOT). It takes a huge amount of work to pull together an event like this, and the BlogHer ladies did it very well. All of the issues above are relatively small, truth be told.

The bigger issues? Well, the event does not engage or welcome, particularly, women without children. The sponsors were almost universally geared toward mothers, the events were very mom-centric, and if you are someone that would rather not see nursing babies everywhere it was NOT the conference for you (personally, I loved that--one of my favorite moments still is the woman that posed a question to a panel with a microphone in one hand and a nursing baby in the other). Women both not ready or interested in having children and those suffering from infertility felt very pummeled by the mommy-ness of it all. For an infertile woman, it would have been like being inside a 1,200 member baby shower--with commercials. Not good.

I also really take issue with the idea that it has to remain a San Francisco conference. I spoke briefly with Jory, one of the founders of BlogHer, and she said they planned to keep it in San Francisco so that they don't have to "re-invent the wheel" every year. She also mentioned the fact that they have mini-conferences around the country (next one is in DC in October--I plan to go!), and have the BlogHer business conferences as well.

But as someone who lives nearly as far away from San Francisco as one can and still be in the United States, I have to say, fuck. It costs a LOT to get to San Francisco. Additionally, out of the 96 hours I was gone, about 20 of them involved travel-time. That is a hell of a lot. I'm already hoping that the whole family can go next year and make it more of a vacation so that the travel time doesn't hurt so much. But I have to imagine there are a whole slew of folks that would happily attend if it were closer to home, right?

Anyway, all in all, these are not big deals. I'm sure I'll go again, regardless of those issues. It is way too worth it overall. :)

Lastly, my final photos: first up is me and Mo Pie of Big Fat Deal. I seriously covet her boobs in this dress (and I promise, Mo, that is the LAST TIME I will mention your boobs).

This is me and Jenny the Bloggess. I have no idea why we weren't looking at the camera. You may have heard some things in other blogs about Jenny. All I'll say is that she is DAMNED FUNNY.

Lastly, one impression of San Francisco I received in my four-block tour of the area (walking between hotels) is that they have the funniest and most honest homeless I've ever seen. As a recovering alcoholic, I particularly loved this guy:

And that, my friends, is my final BlogHer post. What the hell should I write about now? :)

BlogHer '08: The Still-Too-Tired Initial Recap

I have so much I want to write about this weekend. First off, weekend? Maybe it was the whole not-sleeping thing, but I feel like this event lasted for five or six days, not just two. There were so many amazing moments, and so many great people. I think I'm going to publish a list of everyone I met at BlogHer at some point, you know, when I have time. I want to review every single blog and send emails to every single person in the two-inch high pile of business cards I have to go through. My bloglines account is going to catch fire, I think.

The best news is that I actually got much, much more than I could have possibly hoped for out of the weekend.

No matter how small your blog is, BlogHer has something to offer you. I cannot describe the energy and atmosphere of the convention without sounding like a smitten teenager; it was unbelievable. There was just something about being surrounded by so many women, and so many people who live part of their life on the internet. Do you know how awesome it was to never have to apologize for opening my laptop and starting to type while talking to someone? I didn't realize that at home I'm always saying sorry for cracking open the laptop to check my email.

I've also never been to a convention that had tables at every panel presentation so that you could type while listening. I never intended to live blog the events, but since I could, it seemed so natural. Plus, I was so dizzy and giddy with excitement that I couldn't WAIT to share it all with you.

Amazing things have come out of this convention for me. All of them surprised me, and were totally different than what I thought I was going for. Maybe I need to tell you what I hoped to get before I share with you what I actually got; I was expecting to schmooze the bigwigs, try to find ways to get them to link to my blog, and also meet and greet those that want to hire bloggers to write for them. I thought I might also meet some folks in the book publishing industry to put out feelers about how I want to write a book (as if there weren't 1,200 other bloggers there all wishing for the same thing).

But what I got was totally different.

First off, I got totally re-inspired about blogging itself. I'm not sure I even knew that I was perhaps a bit burned out. I know that I often feel tired and overwhelmed about needing to post, and sometimes just want to go about my day without considering how it would translate into an entry. But going to BlogHer reminded me of what--for me--is one of the major reasons I blog. Sure, I do it for myself, to have an outlet for my thoughts and to purge my demons. But I also do it because people read it and tell me that what I have to say matters to them. And while 10,000 emails can sure make me feel good, having a reader greet me and give me a great big hug and tell me that I inspired them to start blogging too? THAT is awesome. Meeting people that read my blog made my heart sing, and made it just feel more fucking real (if that makes any sense). I'm not just a blogger; I'm part of a community of bloggers and readers. I am not alone.

Secondly, I got a new career idea. I briefly mentioned it while I was live-blogging the Commercial Momosphere panel; it came from listening to bloggers and publicity people talking there. Basically, bloggers complain that publicity people send them generic emails (one panelist described it as "insert name here") asking them to review their products. I've gotten them too (but not as many as some, apparently). Publicists claim that they try, and that they in fact do have people that spend the day reading blogs and helping to craft pitches. A light bulb went off for me then; I have ten plus years of public relations experience; maybe I should stop trying to get paid to WRITE a blog and instead get paid to READ them and use my PR past experience to help reach out to bloggers. It can't hurt that I'm already familiar with them, eh? I have some folks to contact, and some work to do, but I might be able to do something along the lines of becoming a blogger consultant. AWESOME. Feel free to steal the idea. I know I would.

Thirdly, I'm not sure if it was the energy of the place or what, but the thing that has held me back from writing a book has always been that I didn't know what exactly I would write. Well, I do now. I have an idea, a title, and know exactly how to start the first chapter. I know, I can't believe it either. I'm going to try to put that together, then put together a proposal, and then start trying to find an (gulp) agent. Any agents reading? Heh. I'm going to keep the details to myself for now, because I don't want to spill the beans, but I'm very fucking excited.

Lastly, I learned something I didn't expect. I learned that I do NOT want to become a famous blogger.

One of the biggest joys for me at the convention was some of the unexpected moments. For instance, I ended up talking for over an hour with this young woman (who had, I believe, the cutest baby at the convention--although that would be a tall order, there was some DAMN cute babies there). Her story is fascinating and compelling (I won't go into it here; a lot of what we talked about is not in her blog yet and is not my story to tell, but suffice it to say that I'd suggest you keep an eye on her blog). She made me cry, and even more amazing, riveted me to my seat so completely that I totally forgot that I desperately needed to pee when we first started talking.

We had an incredible intimate conversation. Also? She doesn't know me, or know my blog. She had no idea who I was. We talked just as women, as mothers, and as folks on different spots on the infertility spectrum. We built a little bridge between us in a quiet corner.

I watched the more well-known bloggers at this convention. I watched them stay to the sidelines with their friends, trying to have conversations, and constantly get interrupted by fans. I watched Heather of Dooce choose to stay at a different hotel completely so as to avoid the mob (I only know this because she was at our hotel and Sarah--the lucky bitch--met her and her husband in the elevator). I don't think any of them got to experience the giddy joy of just walking around talking to strangers freely. And frankly? That would SUCK.

I don't want to assume I know anything about Heather's true inner personal life--and I shouldn't, judging by what she said when she spoke at Saturday's keynote panel. But if she's anything like me, it's got to be very weird and awkward and strange to have so many people be so fucking sure that they KNOW her. To have so many people want to touch her, to hug her, and to tell her they love her. I mean, I have no where near the level of fame she does, and it felt weird to me when the dozen-or-so strangers that came up to me at the convention did that (by strangers, I mean that they neither comment nor email me, so I had no idea who they were). I've read her blog for almost five years, and I've watched her become more private over that time, less willing to do what they called at BlogHer "naked" blogging. Sure, she's been compensated for her blog, but she's lost a great deal too.

I am a "naked" blogger; when Heather said that she doesn't blog about 95% of her life, I thought, wow: I am the total opposite. I don't blog about more like 5%. I really do put it all out here. And I don't want to take that back, you know? In other words, so what if I don't have a million readers a month (or the ad revenue that comes with it)? I have a great resource here with this blog, and a great relationship with my readers, and I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Um, but that doesn't mean I'm taking down my ads or anything. I'm not CRAZY.

Anyway, I feel--thanks to BlogHer--filled up. Brimming with energy, excitement, and enthusiasm. Blogging means more to me than ever, and BlogHer actually clarified my relationship to blogging in ways I didn't expect. It's like blogging and I went to dinner and has a long talk about our relationship and then came home to have hot, hot sex. Yep. That's just what a it did for me. This post is the after-sex cigarette.

Thank you all, again, for making the trip possible. And honestly, I highly recommend that you consider going next year, no matter how small you think your blog is. After all, the conference was NOT about the famous bloggers--not at all. It was about all of us, the bread and butter bloggers who fill the blogosphere with our thoughts and hopes and dreams and fears. It wasn't perfect (I'll probably blog later about some of the shortcomings of the conference, like how women without children felt a bit sidelined or how completely and utterly OFF some of the approaches from the sponsors were, or how annoyingly tiny the names of blogs were on the name tags), but it was really, really rewarding. Plus, San Francisco (where I expect it will be again next year, which I think is stupid, but whatever) is an AWESOME place to get away from summer. Man, it was like perfect fall weather there. Coming home to Philly's humid soup would totally suck if it didn't include Tori. Heh.

I'm off to take Tori to her well-child checkup. I know I'll write more tomorrow. I can't stop now!

Here's What I Do When I Have No Time To Sleep Before The Airport Shuttle Picks Us Up At 4AM

I download software so that I can pirate the DVD I have of me hanging out with Grover from Sesame Street. Heh.

The sound is all fucked up, and I'm sorry, my expertise are so limited I was unable to fix it. So turn the sound low so it doesn't hurt your ears. :) Enjoy!

Live Blogging BlogHer '08: The Closing Presentation

I'm going to just enjoy this one, folks. I'll write about it after.

But Paula? It's NOT because you suggested that. I'm not sure what you meant by your comment, but frankly, I'm blogging this live because my readers contributed to my trip fund and I feel like I owe them more than just a review after it happens. If you don't enjoy these posts, please don't read them.

BlogHer '08: Liveblogging. The Commercial Momosphere

This is the panel I've been waiting for. SHOW ME THE MONEY.

Discussing the code of conduct for their blogs; how do they deal with people working in the commercial world. Where are these people that want to give me things and give me money? Seriously? WHERE ARE YOU? How can these tools to manage them and reject them help me if I'm not hounded already? I do get a few now and again, but not as many as some folks. Apparently.

The panelists haven't said their names so I don't know who is who. Ah, someone asked them to introduce themselves. Now I know.

Twitter is down for maintenance? Really? NOW? Fucking hell.

Good point; before you review a product, you need to also review the company. I hadn't thought of that.

A poor PR person is trying to defend her field.

Talking about protecting your content from them. Good point. I guess when I get to be an A-List blogger all this information will be TOTALLY HELPFUL. Heh.

I've had two energy drinks this morning, and I STILL feel half asleep.

Wow. Fascinating comment about how corporations feel like the we've hijacked their advertising. Interesting. Corporations are used to TELLING and now, they need to dialog and they have no idea how to do it (comment from Stacy at Mom Central). Interesting career available, when you think of it--become a company's Blog PR person. Spend the day reading blogs to determine the best way to approach them as an advertiser... hmmmmmmm. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong! Maybe I should get paid to READ blogs rather than WRITE one.

I didn't eat enough breakfast. I'm starting to fade and I think everyone can hear my stomach growling.

Another interesting comment; making sure your blog is very clear what you are all about, what you are interested. Do you think my blog is clear enough? I feel like it is. I don't think anyone arrives here thinking I'm something I'm not. What do you think?

Wow, a blogger who has a book reviewing blog and therefore gets tons of free books. I read SO much; maybe I should start a separate book blog. Because I have PLENTY of time for that. *snort*

Talking now about disclosure--admitting someone is paying you to review something, or being clear that you aren't being paid (like I did with the Diva cup the other day). Funny. I guess I do prefer knowing, but again, where are these people that want to pay me to review their stuff? HELLO! I'M RIGHT HERE! SEND ME MONEY!

Sigh. I am turning into a total whore.

Still thinking about the whole Blogging PR specialist thing. I have years of PR experience. If I could arrange to do that from home, that would be a pretty awesome gig. I'd really enjoy it too, I think. It would be really fun to spend my days telling companies how they don't have a clue about bloggers.

Blog rings; hooking up to increase traffic. Huh. Must find. Anyone know some good ones?

I've decided that I am going to approach a couple of these PR people and give them my card and tell them that I'd like to freelance for them.

This panel is wrapping up. I'm off to lunch. Wish me luck!

BlogHer '08: Liveblogging the morning keynote

Good morning everyone. Even with a good night's sleep last night (since no one told me where the good parties were--heh), I feel like the dirt ground into the bottom of your shoe. The dirt with shin splints. LOTS of standing endlessly, which as a fat girl, blows.

Anyone, I'm here at the keynote not really listening because my caffeine hasn't kicked in yet, but I realized there is something I've forgotten to say about the conference so far. I've not mentioned how unbelievably inspiring this all is. I haven't been around so much positive female energy in a long, long time, and I can't get over how BUZZED I feel with all the positive vibes going on around here. Everyone I meet is awesome--I mean it, EVERYONE--and I can't get over the power and strength of some of these women.

It's like going to a spiritual retreat, except everyone swears.

I am having a blast. Thank you all again for sending me. I love you all with that gushy, silly love that comes when you haven't slept and yesterday met your Sesame Street hero. It's an enduring love, I promise.

BlogHer 'O8: End of day one (photos!)

Can you believe how much I'm posting? No, me either. It's really fun, though--it makes it so much more enjoyable to get to share it all with you. Please bear with me. Heh.

So, after all the panels, and the Keynote presentation (they had "best of" entries read by bloggers--some moved me to tears, and Jenny made me pee my pants laughing), they had the party. The party at a club around the corner from the hotel, totally one of those clubs with velvet ropes (where when they closed from our party, they promptly kicked us out of the upstairs VIP area) where I felt horridly uncool.

The party was "hosted" by TNT, and they had Gina Ravera, star of The Closer and ER, hanging around chatting with folks. As you all know, I am a huge The Closer fan (and I'm watching ER until the bitter fucking end), so I wandered over to say hi and, you know, the stupid shit you say when you meet famous people you admire. She is BEAUTIFUL, unbelievably so, and SO. FUCKING. NICE. We talked--seriously--for 15 or 20 minutes. I kept standing there, chatting away, thinking over and over I can't believe she's still talking to me. She even wrote down things I said. No, really. It was supremely cool. She wanted to tell me something else (hard to believe) but other fans finally interrupted us and I never got a chance to find out what it was. But I did get a picture. And you know what else? She called me a rock star (she said I had a really "I don't care what you think" attitude. And she meant that in a good way. If only she could be inside my head for ten seconds). I promptly melted into a pile of star struck goo.

Then it was time to stalk the A-Listers. Heh. First up? Finslippy! Alice was incredibly sweet and claims that she read my blog back before I changed the name (from "and I wasted all that birth control" for anyone that doesn't know). If she was lying, I couldn't tell, so I'll just be tickled, m'kay?

Next up, Amalah. Who I spotted early hanging with Sweetney (who I also met very briefly), and while I  tried to figure out an angle to meet her she spotted my tattoos and decided I was too cool for mommy bloggers. Which is too funny. Eventually, I introduced myself, and she greeted me with a big hug and gasps like she knows who I am and reads my blog. And, frankly, she knows enough about my blog that I guess I'll have to believe her. In fact, she said she's read me for years, and I believe used the words "blog crush." Squee!

Have I mentioned how fucking happy I am I have business cards? Otherwise, what would I give to the folks that gave me these? I AM GOING TO HAVE SO MANY NEW BLOGS TO READ.

Here is today's swag. And believe it or not? I went to the swag recycle room and got rid of half of it already.

AWESOME.

The highlight of my day, of course, was the video I made with Grover. No, really, it was the most awesome thing. I've been somewhat in love with Grover since I was three, so it was like, you know, THE COOLEST THING EVER. But I also met a more recent Sesame Street muppet:

Down in the bottom right is the woman that operates Abby. The real one, like from the show.

So, anyway, Sarah spent the day taking photos and meeting a Flickr friend. Before she met me for the party, she stopped by our hotel to freshen up. And who is in the elevator? DOOCE. She met her and John and everything. I am seething with envy. Heh.

Alright. I'm off to bed. Expect more tomorrow!

Live Blogging BlogHer '08: Mommy Blogging: Public Parenting & Privacy

This one is going to be good. I will get called on this time, I SWEAR.

Link to panel here.

Crystal lost her son for ten years and she's still standing? My god.

Former cop? COOL.

Keeps all on the downlow.

Awesome blog title.

That's the panel.

Number one fear for kid's safety: predators, kidnapping, embarrassing the kids, stealing photos. From the audience. How it will affect the kids later. Being judged for how you parent.

Not sure I should be at this panel. Maybe I should have gone to the political one instead. It's interesting, and I know that people are worried about this, but I am just not one of them. Maybe I'm an idiot.

800,000 kids are abducted every year; 82% by people they know. So much for stranger danger.

I think I'm gonna switch panels. Is that rude?

I'm off.

***OMG, I'm going to make a video with Grover!***

Live Blogging BlogHer '08: Mommy Blogging: Is It Still A Radical Act?

First question: Is it still radical? Question is from first BlogHer four years ago. Panel link here.

12% of adults blog, 13% of women, and 15% of moms. Weird.

First panelist says: the more radical you are, the more interesting. Cool. Is swearing radical? Cause I'm ALL OVER IT.

Can you have ads and still be radical? Apparently not, since I just got fired from Google Adsense. They claim I have pornographic content. Jeez, you write ONE blow job post...

You can hardly hear the panelists over all the fingers tapping on keyboards in here.

Talking about whether or not ads impact your writing. Nope, not me. I have asked for certain ads (diet ones) to be pulled.

Just finally decided to actually wear the laynard with my name tag. Sigh. I hate it. I just hate laynards. It's a big boob thing.

Polly just said blogging is proposing a new agenda for motherhood. FUCK YEAH. She's cool.

Audience member talking about how mommy books lie and mommy blogs tell the truth about parenting (specifically, getting shit all day).

I wish I had the guts to say something at panel level. I am a blank of useful points. Plus, last audience member was too awesome and I can't beat her. Or come close.

"Speaking truth to power about motherhood." See? I can't come up with that stuff. Mommy blogging is still radical according to this mom cause we get shit for doing it. Proof that it's rad. OH YEAH.

Everyone is picking on baby wipe warmers. Hilarious.

When asked if you should change your content to be more commercial, Maria said "Hey, I know Nintendo is here and I want a Wii." Hysterical.

OK, I think I have something to say. Oooh! Oooh!

Now I can't get anyone to notice my hand up. Even though I have a tanktop on with all my tattoos showing. Sigh. They've moved on from what I wanted to say.

Best blog name EVER.

Polly just said that blogging gives you the chance to think deeply. So true.

Oh, great point: mommy bloggers making money is radical because we get shit about it. OH YEAH.

They've come back to my point! Oooooh!

"I love that they don't see us coming." Great point about mommy blogging!

Interesting point: not pandering to readers (do you feel pandered to?).

On to a new point but I still have something to say about it. Whee!

OK, I think the mic wranglers hate me.

Ooooh, touchy topic: diversity. This room is 95% white.

Mommy blogging legitimizes motherhood? Hmmmm. Not so sure about that.

I love that there are noisy babies in here. Cute ones too. I miss Tori.

I give up. I'm not going to get to talk. Woe is me.

This was awesome. It's wrapping up, so I'm ending this. Sorry if it's so scattered. :)

Brief Update (with photos!)

Man, last night was CRAZY. Sarah and I were near delirious from exhaustion, but we managed to hit both parties (sadly, we missed the swag at the People's Party--spent too much time at the newcomer's bash). So who all did I meet?

CityMama who is DAMN TALL and absolutely gorgeous, and seriously way younger than I thought. Or at least she looks younger (she's so accomplished I guess I thought she was much older). She gave me a great big hug which was awesome. I'll try to get a photo later this weekend.

Mel of Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters who is also younger than I thought, and super adorable--seriously, she's just breathtakingly pretty in person (her hubby ain't bad either, but sorry--Charlie's my man and boy do I miss him!). We didn't get to have dinner, but will get together again later this weekend. And look! A photo!

We met up with Sarah of Dreams and False Alarms for dinner, and it simply felt like we've known her FOREVER. She's gorgeous and smart, and it was so relaxing hanging out with her I hope she comes again tonight. Plus she allowed me to have an all Sarah entourage. Photo of the Sarahs:

I met a dozen other folks, and I have a stack of business cards of people I'm looking forward to getting to know, but I am already late (I'm waiting for Charlie and Tori to video conference). So more later!

San Francisco!

We're here!

I feel like we were on the plane for 100 years. But now we're here, in this pretty city, where everyone is wearing coats in July. That is fucked up.

I miss Tori.

I'm off to shower. :)